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When I was a teenager, I traveled, and my parents only had a general sense of where I was in the world. They knew the country, for instance, and maybe even the city, but I rarely knew where I was staying before I left, unless I was staying with a friend or family. I rarely knew which city I would be in on which day. I bought a Let’s Go guide and chose a recommended hotel from the book when I reached a new place.

I had an international calling card. It was almost a dollar a minute, so I only called every two weeks, or maybe once in the middle of a three-week trip. I never knew when people would be home, so I took my chances when I called. I wanted to call late enough that people would be home, but early enough that I felt safe because the phones were outside, on the street. It didn’t feel safe to stand on a street corner at midnight and call in the dark just to get people at 7 pm at home.

I took photos, usually bringing four rolls that held 36 images each. A luxury! I couldn’t wait to send off the film when I got home and see the pictures a week or two later.

The twins are still away on their grand adventures. They’ve met up and are traveling together this weekend. We know this because we’ve been able to speak to them almost every night. They call or FaceTime to tell us about their day. They check in with text messages during the day. Sometimes they sent pictures so we can see what they’re seeing in real time. We get credit card alerts, so we know which city they’re in via their purchases.

In many ways, it feels similar to when they’re away at college. It’s just the amount of distance that makes my stomach clench, but in actuality, we’ve been able to have the same sort of contact with them, which is 10x the contact my parents were able to have with me while in college because there was no texting, no mobile devices, no video calling, infrequent email, and expensive phone calls.

I feel silly talking about how much I miss them, but I miss them. I really really miss them. I feel so lucky that I don’t have to wait weeks to hear what they’ve been doing or see pictures. I can acknowledge that earlier generations had it harder. And I can still miss them. A lot.

There was a part in Spalding Gray’s monologue Gray’s Anatomy, where he talks about the Bermuda Triangle of Health. The idea is that it’s the time “where the body begins to break down in alarming and humiliating ways.” In his case, a macula pucker.

The idea had always stayed with me, but I didn’t actually look back at the book to see the years he deemed the Bermuda Triangle of Health. It’s 50 – 53, if you’re curious. I saw him perform the monologue when he was 53 or 54, based on a quick peek at his birth year on his Wikipedia page. I was in college when I heard him perform the monologue, and he felt so old back then. It made complete sense that his body would be breaking down. But now that I’m here, it doesn’t feel old at all. Do college kids look at me and think that I’m impossibly old?

I thought about it this week because I’ve been dealing with sciatica pain. It’s getting better so I’m not going to see the doctor for now, but it has made me feel creaky and off for weeks. Once upon a time, 50 – 53 sounded so far away. Nothing to worry about. And now it’s here. Thanks a lot, time.

I’ve never been a big game show person, but we ended up watching old episodes of The Chase because every hotel in Ireland seemed to show hours of episodes each night. It’s a trivia show that ranges from popular culture to history and literature to sports. We started shouting out the answers along with the players. The stakes felt high. I’d go to shower and rush back into the room to ask what had happened to the team. Had they been able to beat the chaser?

Our Four in a Bed. We watched bed-and-breakfast proprietors give each other hotel advice in a friendly competition to be the best value for money. And I looked forward to it, my time with random hosts. What had gotten into me?

I’ve had a hard time returning to my regularly scheduled program. I cannot seem to shake post-travel fatigue, read intense books, or consume the news. It’s like my brain is telling me to be gentle with it. Don’t jostle it or challenge it too much. Give it a hot water bottle and let it watch game show episodes from 2009.

Would I have felt this way if I hadn’t given myself a break? I think so. I think my brain was heading this way months ago. I just gave it permission to take a break

Pre-Internet, if I was going to another country, I bought two things: a Let’s Go guide or similar book and a phrase book. I needed the Let’s Go guide to find places to stay and know what to do, and I needed the phrase book because I was going to try as hard as possible to at least start the exchange in the other language.

I stopped getting the Let’s Go guide when we could book everything before we left the country. But I also let the phrase book go at some point. The internet and apps have made it easier than ever to learn another language. Or, at least, the basics provided by those old phrase books. And instead of learning more, I learned less.

I saw a great list of “side quests” you can do if you feel stuck on a project to get yourself out of your head, and one of the options was to learn 10 words in another language just because. I kind of love the idea of returning to this tradition, if not with a whole phrase book than at least with a phrase sheet. 10 words before the next trip.

I don’t usually reflect on items I’ve purchased as I’m using them, but these three things made the trip so much better that I feel like I need to put it down here, too.

Tom Bihn Side Hustle

This bag fit so many things, hugged my body, never got in the way as I walked, and was accepted as a bag in all museums. It got soaked in the rain, and everything inside stayed dry. It never felt heavy on my shoulder. It really is the perfect bag.

Alpha Keeper Belt

I am someone who stresses a lot about my passport due to too many friends/family members having their passports stolen. I could barely feel this belt the moment I put it on. I sometimes forgot to take it off when we got back to the room. It was that unnoticeable. It made me feel super safe.

New Phone

I agonized over getting a new phone. Did I really need a new phone? My other phone hadn’t died yet, and I usually only replace a phone when it becomes literally unusable. As in, it won’t turn on. But I decided that life was short, and I was going to get a new phone before we left. I didn’t get something super fancy, but the photos were definitely higher quality, and it made such a difference to not have emails take a minute to load.