Travel Now and Then
When I was a teenager, I traveled, and my parents only had a general sense of where I was in the world. They knew the country, for instance, and maybe even the city, but I rarely knew where I was staying before I left, unless I was staying with a friend or family. I rarely knew which city I would be in on which day. I bought a Let’s Go guide and chose a recommended hotel from the book when I reached a new place.
I had an international calling card. It was almost a dollar a minute, so I only called every two weeks, or maybe once in the middle of a three-week trip. I never knew when people would be home, so I took my chances when I called. I wanted to call late enough that people would be home, but early enough that I felt safe because the phones were outside, on the street. It didn’t feel safe to stand on a street corner at midnight and call in the dark just to get people at 7 pm at home.
I took photos, usually bringing four rolls that held 36 images each. A luxury! I couldn’t wait to send off the film when I got home and see the pictures a week or two later.
The twins are still away on their grand adventures. They’ve met up and are traveling together this weekend. We know this because we’ve been able to speak to them almost every night. They call or FaceTime to tell us about their day. They check in with text messages during the day. Sometimes they sent pictures so we can see what they’re seeing in real time. We get credit card alerts, so we know which city they’re in via their purchases.
In many ways, it feels similar to when they’re away at college. It’s just the amount of distance that makes my stomach clench, but in actuality, we’ve been able to have the same sort of contact with them, which is 10x the contact my parents were able to have with me while in college because there was no texting, no mobile devices, no video calling, infrequent email, and expensive phone calls.
I feel silly talking about how much I miss them, but I miss them. I really really miss them. I feel so lucky that I don’t have to wait weeks to hear what they’ve been doing or see pictures. I can acknowledge that earlier generations had it harder. And I can still miss them. A lot.
4 comments
The connectivity is amazing, isn’t it? I did similar travel-around-Europe stuff when I was a (college) kid; I remember once being in Yugoslavia (yes, it was still Yugoslavia, though only barely) and calling my mom and telling her I was heading to Greece. I got as far as Rijeka on the coast, decided the heat was too much, headed north, camped for several nights in Sweden, and next time I called her was in Oslo.
I remind myself of this when my kid, who’s about the same age I was then, heads out into the wilderness (which he does) and is genuinely off-grid and I cannot connect with him and don’t know where he is.
And I miss him, but am also glad he is spreading his wings. Hugs to you.
Ahh, memories…! I did not travel as widely as you did when I was a student, but I only ever called my parents from school on Sunday nights, when it was cheapest. And I had completely forgotten until we were cleaning out my parents’ house this spring, but I actually wrote letters home!! Especially when I was further away, at graduate school! I brought those home with me, although I haven’t looked at them too closely yet.
Dh’s cousin’s daughter is currently doing a medical residency in the U.S., while her boyfriend is training in the Canadian military… I told her it’s entirely possible for long distance romances to succeed, because it worked out for us — and we didn’t have the Internet, email/texting/Facetime or money for airfare more than a couple of times a year. We did spend a lot of weekends together when we were both at graduate school, a two-hous train ride apart. It wasn’t fun, but here we are 40+ years later!
I feel as if I’ve written about this on A Separate Life over the years. When I was 17 and on an international exchange, I only rang home twice – once on my birthday, and once to confirm my homecoming arrangements. I didn’t receive any letters for six weeks (we were given an incorrect address to use), and even then letters took a couple of weeks to arrive.
It is extraordinary to travel now – and be able to whatsapp or message people as easily as sitting at home. I almost miss that feeling of … well … an absence of noise, a focus on only what I was doing or where I was. And I worry about the youth today – not being able to be completely independent, not learning the skills of resilience that pure isolation gives you. (I’m thinking of people I know, not your kids, who sound very resourceful!) Or maybe it just means they learn those skills without the anxiety that isolation also can give.
And yes, as LLL says, BothAnd. You can acknowledge it would have been harder 30-50 years ago, and still miss your kids now.
Ah, the good old days of really disconnecting from real life when you’re on vacation! All anyone knew was my flight numbers and whatever itinerary I had prepared. It’s better to get updates as they happen though. Much more exciting.