What Do You Need Right Now?
I read a really simple but game-changing article on Washington Post (that’s a gift link). It goes through the fact that people are willing to be kind to others in a way that they’re not kind to themselves, and the author suggests that we pause and ask ourselves what we need right now.
My eyes went over the words, backed up, and thought about them. I think many Gen Xers were raised on the messaging that we should suck it up and deal. I say that to myself all the time.
But I tried it the next time I hit a wall. What did I need right now? A cup of tea. A pause to read a chapter in a book. Permission to push something off my calendar. That’s what I needed. So that’s what I gave myself.
It’s a weird feeling — taking care of yourself.
2 comments
In my ectopic/infertility/childless writings, I have used that concept (treat myself as well as I treat others) for years. (I read it somewhere – I’m not a genius! lol) The negative self-talk we indulge in – would we say any of those things to a beloved friend, or family member? No. We’d be kind. Understanding. So why don’t we deserve the same consideration? We’re hurting just the same.
Note that I said I’ve been writing about it for years? Putting it into practice is a little harder, though I’m getting better. “What do I need?” is a slightly new aspect on it for me. I really like that, and I’m going to start thinking about it. Thanks, Mel!
yes I also was raised to push my own needs aside so it’s an almost a strange feeling to ask myself what I would like without guilt! Often the simple things like the ones you mentioned- reading a book, drinking tea etc make a big difference 🙂