Tossing
My goal for winter break was to clean the storage room and make it usable again, which morphed into cleaning out the room where the kids set up work desks during the pandemic, used through Zoom school, and now used regularly as a homework space. I wanted them to clean out old papers, notebooks, and school projects and make dismantling that space easier this summer. Plus, it gave us more room to drag boxes out of the storage room and go through them.
I found that I was at my best early in the morning. Out with it. All of it. I tossed things without compunction, pausing to photograph the most important things before discarding them in a bag. The kids got rid of toys, old clothes, and boxes and boxes of paper.
After four hours, I would start thinking like Gollum. It’s my spaghetti storage container that I’ve never used. Why shouldn’t I keep it? It’s mine. It’s my precious, which was usually my cue to send Josh to the dump with anything we had to toss.
And then the regret and doubt would come hours later. Had we checked all the pockets on the clothing before donating it? Why did I throw out my childhood lamp without taking a picture? It may still have some life left in it.
And then, the process started again.
I find getting rid of things difficult, though I love things neat and orderly. We got rid of a lot of clutter this week, and we’ve set it up to tackle more rooms and spaces between now and leaving for college. It feels so weird to close up a childhood. So sad. Put it in a box. Set it on a shelf with an external label. Toss the rest.
I couldn’t have imagined this day when they were so tiny. And now it’s here.
5 comments
I am working on a similar project. I started with my closet and decided to motivate myself to go through the storage area by setting up a donation pick up. This will save me the trips to the drop off location and force me to at least take a quick pass through the whole house, lest I waste my opportunity. I know it will feel good to put everything on my porch and wait for it to disappear. And I was right about the forcing part. I absolutely lost steam towards the end of last week but will absolutely still finish tomorrow because I want to be one and done with the pick ups. Some things are hard to get rid of and others aren’t. I’m surprised by what I’m attached to.
This sounds so hard. As someone who just unpacked from having a storage unit for 7 years, I can only imagine how difficult it is to go through your children’s things. I was preserving only my childhood, deciding what to keep and toss. It would be harder to do that for my children. Have you considered buying a second property just for their stuff? Haha, I promise I’m joking… Mostly. 😉
Thinking of you! <3
I think this is a little easier for me, partly because my mother was/is a hoarder. Not like TV-level hoarder, but definitely pathological in the sense that she trips over stuff and could eat expired food. We purge sort of regularly, passing on clothes to people we know, and freecycling things we realize we just don’t use. But sometimes I find myself regretting my own efficiency in this work. I like the Gollum metaphor.
I hear you! I’ve spent much of the last year purging things after my husband’s death. Now, I find myself doing it again as I start the process of moving in with my boyfriend and his kids. In fact, I’m doing it at both houses as we go through things. And, while it’s not my kids it is a difficult process of the memories that come up with someone who is no longer with us. Since we’re both widowed it can be a double whammy some days! LOL
But, it’s also strangely freeing some of the time. I like the idea of taking pictures, thanks for the tip.
“I couldn’t have imagined this day when they were so tiny. And now it’s here.”
Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Nonsense! You’ve been imagining this day with dread for the entire time I’ve been reading your blog! Now it’s here and it’s terrible, but is it as terrible as you imagined?
You’re gonna make it through…it will be OK.