My Forever Mindset

I’ve come to realize that it’s the rare person who can be comfortable with the concept that nothing is forever, and that a large portion of that population has become comfortable with the idea by experiencing it.

This struck me as I was reading My Sweet Dumb Brain because her acceptance of life change came from continuing to exist after having her life flipped upside down with the death of her husband.

She calls it our “forever-oriented mindset,” and I definitely have that: a desire of things I like to continue in the same way forever. For relationships and friendships to continue forever. For jobs to continue forever and homes to be lived in forever and all my possessions to exist in the same state forever.

Except for the plastic stuff, I probably won’t get my wish.

Where did this “forever-oriented mindset” come from? How did we decide this was the story we were going to tell ourselves?

Because I agree with her about giving it up: “It releases us from a narrow mindset—this one thing will solve my problems—and invites us to look at the world from a place of abundance. There are many things, at many different times, that will bring me joy.”

It’s a little different from her end thought: I don’t believe the house or relationship or job will make me happy and become my happily-ever-after. Instead, I believe I make myself happy with these things, and once I do, I want it to continue indefinitely because I don’t want to lose something that I have used to make myself happy.

A little different but equally problematic when it comes to happiness.