Category — Uncategorized

It’s a not-very-birthday-y birthday because it’s a work day, and I’m trying to get the twins ready for their summer plans. But that’s just what being an adult is all about, kids. It’s not all popsicles for breakfast and being queen of your own bedtime. Sometimes your birthday passes without big fanfare.

Which is okay.

My birthday will still contain cake, zoolbia, and gianniotiko (with chocolate!) because go-big-or-go-home when it comes to birthday desserts.

Before I check a book out of the library, I do two things: I read the first few pages, and I check the rating on Goodreads. I look for books with at least a 3.5 rating and read the last few reviews, trying to pick out one or two 2-star reviews and one or two 4-star reviews. If I click with the first few pages but the ratings are low, I’ll usually still check out the book. But if you needed a reason for why you shouldn’t look at ratings first, Erin McKeown wrote about a famous study that proves how other people’s ratings influence human opinion.

[Hint: click over to read about the study because it’s super interesting and hard to summarize.]

She writes: “I get it, there’s an element of social belonging in liking the same things as other people, but once the boulder starts rolling, it’s hard for other rocks to get noticed.”

The author or musician or filmmaker who gets those first low reviews may receive additional low reviews because the next people who come along are influenced by the opinion of the first random people vs. their own feelings about the work. And then YOU are harmed just as much as the artist because you miss out on great work.

I can think of so many books that fit this description. Fair Play by Louise Hegarty. It was one of the most profound mysteries I’ve ever read; I still think about it. The reviews I saw on Goodreads clearly missed the point of what the book is actually about. You think it’s a mystery; it is something so much deeper than that. I think anyone who has lost someone important will read this book in a very different way once they get the twist.

Would I have given it a chance if I had seen the ratings before I read the first pages? Probably not, in all honesty. And I would have missed out on a profound story.

Erin always gives food for thought. One of the most talented writers (and musicians) I’ve read/heard.

I often save books I know will be fantastic (e.g., the latest Anthony Horowitz book) for either a rainy day or when the next book in the series comes out. I race out to buy it, but only to put it on the shelf and read the last book in the series that I’ve been holding onto in case I needed the perfect book.

The ChickieNob has pointed out that it means that I never get to the stuff I’m really excited about, holding onto it and reading stuff I’m happy-enough to read instead. Touché.

About once a year, we go on a big book-buying trip. This year, I have 19 books on the shortlist. I will not buy all 19, but I will sample the books and choose the ones I absolutely need to own. The question will be whether I can break myself of this terrible habit and read them first. To not hold onto anything that looks good and instead consume it immediately. It goes against every fiber of my being, but I also know that I feel happy when I get to the really good stuff.

Ron Charles asked a thought-provoking question in a recent newsletter: “Will human-raised children become a luxury product?” The question comes from a doctor whose waiting room used to be filled with conversation, which is now filled with silence as people — children and adults — scroll on their phones. Whereas people used to fill the waiting room time either chatting or reading aloud to a child, they are now scrolling on separate devices.

But I would argue we’ve been in this state for a very long time, long before AI or even smartphones came on the scene. Having time to slow down and engage in hands-on parenting has always been somewhere between a luxury and a conscious choice. To have time to read to your child or use that downtime for conversation, you need to have space in your schedule. You need to not be pulled in 20 directions. You need to not have a full-time job, or if you have a full-time job, have a lot of flexibility in that job to build hands-on parenting into your day. And, frankly, you are likely giving up something yourself if you’re working full-time and parenting hands-on. Something has to give, and it’s probably going to be something related to the adult’s physical or mental health. There are only so many hours in a day.

So the real question is how we’re going to build that time into the day so we can have working parents who use that waiting room time to read to their kids instead of hand them a device so they can catch up on work while away from work. Or just catch some needed downtime from life and time to mindlessly scroll instead of do one more thing. I say this as someone who read to her kids well into middle school so we could discuss books as they unfolded. So I love reading aloud. But I also see the other side.

Last summer, I read an article about Trader Joe’s Dubai chocolate. Reiterating: big fan of pistachio, big fan of kadayif, big fan of chocolate. Our store told us it would be back in the fall. For a few months, we checked every time we went to the store, but it didn’t return in the fall or winter, and we thought they had decided not to bring it back.

Imagine my shock when I was leaning over the frozen vegetables a few weeks ago, and Josh said, “Is that the Dubai chocolate?” pointing at the shelf above my head. It was. It was the freakin’ Dubai chocolate that had been on the shopping list for nine months.

I bought four bars, untasted, because I thought it would be easier to give them to someone else than get them again. I was correct. They’re sold out again. But, yes, it’s as good as I hoped.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

And now the blogs…

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But first, second, helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Prädestiniert” (Elaine ohne Kind)

Okay, now my choices this week.

A Separate Life posted the to-do list she took out of her head. Our to-do lists tell a story; capture a moment in time. And this one made me want to reach through the screen to give her a hug.

Lastly, Swistle has a unique take on using human touch when you don’t necessarily have traditional human touch. She found it grounding during a stressful dental visit to use the moments her body touched another body to focus her thoughts. She writes, “This time, instead, I concentrated on the way I could feel the assistant’s leg against my upper arm, and the dentist’s fingers on my mouth—sorry, it is kind of struggle to write this in a way that doesn’t sound unintentionally erotic; but you’ve had dental work done, you know we are not talking about that.” Okay, I snickered at “unintentionally erotic,” but I think it’s a good reminder when we start to panic to focus on what we can physically feel.

The roundup to the Roundup: It really is very good chocolate. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 15 – 22) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week. Read the original open thread post here.