Old Mix Tapes
I have all of the old mixtapes that Josh and I made each other back at the beginning of our relationship. (Of course, I do. And I have VCR tapes, even though we have no way to play them.) I remember the anxiety I felt choosing songs: What they said about me, what messages he may glean from the lyrics, whether he’d like listening to the music while we took road trips.
One afternoon, I downloaded the songs from Apple Music and recreated the first two he made for me except for a few songs — A Juicy song called “Fuck You, I’m Cool” (which doesn’t even seem to be on the Internet at all) and a few Michelle Shocked tunes.
I meant to play them in the car when we drove back from dropping off the kids at college, but I was crying too hard and forgot the mixes existed until I saw them again on the phone days later. I guess I’ll save them for future road trips.
2 comments
Treasures!! For 5 years I have been wishing I could find a cd my best friend gave me. One of the songs is a favorite of mine and also impossible to find on the internet. My friend said the musician sang the song at his wedding to her godmother. I’m a big lyrics person, so maybe I’ll write down the lyrics and feel thankful that it used to mean a lot to me 20 years ago.
I’m grateful to still have my friend as a friend though I miss spending hours with her during our pre-parenting lives. I left a vase of flowers on her front step yesterday for her bday. Poured a lot of love into the arrangement…in another life I would have been a florist because I love flowers and talking to people on the phone.
I have my mix tapes. I have my husband’s mix tape from his high school girlfriend. I have a cassette player, though I’m thinking of setting up the stereo that’s been living in a closet since 2001. I have a VCR if you want to come over and watch your tapes. Or the complete Fawlty Towers, which I only have on VHS.