The Art of Saying No
I’ve said it before: I am terrible at saying no. The whole thing makes me feel guilty because I can usually say yes, just at the expense of my own happiness. So I guess I have no difficulty when I have a clear-cut reason attached to the “no,” such as being out of town. But if I technically could say yes, but I’m not saying yes because we all have limited time, emotional energy, or money, I feel guilty, which makes me botch the no.
So I always pause and read any article about how to say no. And this is a good one.
Beyond the how-to, I liked the idea that there is a difference between selfishness, which feels purposeful, and putting yourself first, which feels healthy when done if necessary.
Putting this here in case it helps anyone else.
2 comments
I can *so* relate to this! I talked about a book in a recent episode of The Library of Lost Time podcast that you might like! It’s called ‘ The Power of Saying No’ by Vanessa Patrick.
You can hear me talk about it here:
https://strongsenseofplace.com/lolts/lolt-2023-06-09/
Transcript is here:
https://strongsenseofplace.com/transcriptions/lolt_transcript_2023-06-09/
The book is super readable and has excellent, practical advice.
Love, the ‘other’ Mel
I understand. I really didn’t feel I had the right to say “no” for many many years – until I was going through infertility. Then I learned it was okay, and that other people will often step up when given the chance. It was such a revelation to give my feelings equal standing!
Then I got into a habit of saying “no” because in very difficult years it was so much easier. Though I did say “yes” to a position that gave me a lot of pleasure and growth (and stress) in the midst of those difficult years, and I’m glad about that. Finally, I then had to retrain myself to say “yes” more often! lol I think I’m at a happy medium now.