Category — Uncategorized

We are now entering the heart of the Quiet Zone, which begins around Thanksgiving and reaches its climax near Christmas, continuing through the beginning of January. You may think of it as the Busy Zone or the Loud Zone because you have a ton of things to do to get through the holiday season. But this period can become strangely empty if you don’t celebrate Christmas.

If I’m waiting on anything big during this time, I know that (1) if I receive the item/answer at all, it will be much later than I thought it would come, and (2) it will likely be pushed back until January. No one wants to start things in mid-December. If we hadn’t conceived the twins on the cycle when we conceived the twins, I could have seen the clinic encouraging us to take a cycle off to not conflict with the holidays.

I could, of course, lean into this, knowing that I can’t fight it. It happens every year. And for someone who really loves silence, it is weird that I get so antsy with quiet periods. But I do.

So I’m filling the time with projects. Hoping I can hit the ground running when everything ramps up again in January.

This is an old essay, but I saw people linking to it a lot after the election, and it feels kind of timeless in a broken world. I think the world is possibly always broken — at least for someone — and it behooves us to remember that. It’s still a broken world if it’s broken for one person, and our job is to remember that brokenness, even if it’s not broken for us.

I think the thing that stood out to me was that most of us would agree that we’d rather live in a community vs. on our own. We have the choice to remove ourselves from the world and cut ourselves off from the internet and consuming other people’s content or eating food made from ingredients provided through the world of other people and… well, you get it.

You’re reading this, which means you are connecting to the world. You are not shutting yourself off from the world; you’re letting it in every time you read or listen or see or eat or touch something created by another person. That is why we live in communities; to benefit from one another and not have to support our existence without other individuals.

The essay writer states: “I don’t know how to convince someone how to experience the basic human emotion of empathy.” We are all one choice, one action, one moment away from living a very different existence — one that someone else is living right now. And it would help if we remembered that as we move through this world. The point of community is so we can be there for each other vs. trying to do everything on our own.

The Wolvog told me how to see my year-end wrap-up from Apple Music, akin to the interesting breakdown Goodreads provides for books. I don’t listen to a lot of music, but we took a bunch of long drives, and I have one mix that I keep adding to that received a bunch of plays.

I listened to 2,651 minutes of music, which comes out to about 7 minutes per day. Though I may have left something playing with my computer on mute at some point because I definitely did not spend 4.7% of my yearly minutes listening to Rufus Wainwright. I mean, I love the man’s voice, but there are only two songs from him on that enormous mix. I did not listen to those two songs for 124 minutes.

But what made me enormously amused was when it told me what I listened to (and how much I listened to) in 2023 vs. 2024. Everything in 2024 made sense, but everything popular in 2023 was artists I had never heard of. I was on with the Wolvog when I was looking at the report, and when I said that aloud, he started to laugh.

Years ago, when the kids were little, they were both under my Apple ID. Once we got family sharing, the Wolvog separated out, but the ChickieNob kept using my Apple ID until she left for college. She listens to a lot of Francophone rock because she set her phone entirely to French. I was seeing her Belgian mixes.

Mystery solved.

Josh received a discount code from my rain boot company. I think of it as my rain boot company because I have taken to wearing my rain boots as my normal shoes. If you’re always in rain boots, you’re always prepared. That may become my new motto.

But I convinced myself that I needed a new pair during Black Friday because I had a discount code and my boots were old and faded. Didn’t I want nice, new, shiny rain boots? Didn’t I deserve nice, new, shiny rain boots?

I went down a rabbit hole of rain boot options. Did I want to switch to a Chelsea boot style? Did I want mid-calf boots? What about the lining inside — how much cold protection did I want so the boot could double as snow boots?

I kept putting off and putting off the purchase because I wasn’t sure. Did I really need new boots? My current boots were fine. They were broken in. I knew I liked them. They made excellent hiking boots. The new boots were a bit unknown. Sure, they would be nice, new, and shiny, but would they be comfortable?

In the end, I realized that not buying the boots was easier than buying the boots. Not buying them took less time, and I ended up richer at the end of the exercise because I hadn’t parted with the money. My boots weren’t amazing, but they were fine. And fine sometimes has more benefits than amazing.

Forget that first motto. Maybe my new motto this holiday season will be not buying it is easier than buying it. It’s a good reminder when you’re bombarded with sales for things you don’t really need.

I read a great essay about a person who made little grab-and-go prep kits for going out with her potty-training child (e.g., clean underwear, wipes, etc.) and she would add a little gift to herself and a note inside each one — “a gift for future you.”

I love this idea of leaving yourself kind things for the future. I often think of this concept as the idea of doing something now that will make life easier later. For instance, preparing ingredients the day before so cooking goes smoothly. Or taking the time to clean up now so future Melissa can enjoy a neat space.

But all of those things require me to work now and rest later, without the promise that I will really benefit later. I mean, I know if I don’t do it, I will definitely have to do it later. So it’s a small kindness.

But this is different. This is not taking on any work right now, but leaving yourself little kind notes or treats for when you know you will most need them.

A love note. To yourself.