Category — Friday Blog Roundup

April Fool’s Day, which I’ve redubbed in my head “Avoid the Internet Day,” happened at the beginning of the week.  Despite many impassioned pleas by people to NOT post fake pregnancy announcements, people posted fake pregnancy announcements.  Justin Bieber’s ended up hitting the news, and his apology was stunning:

“There’s always gonna be people offended, there’s also people who don’t take jokes very well, I am a prankster and it was APRIL FOOLS. I didn’t at all mean to be insensitive to people who can’t have children. A lot of people I know, their first go to prank on April fools is telling their parents they are pregnant to get a big reaction. But I will apologize anyway and take responsibility and say sorry to people who were offended.”

I speak Bieberese, so let me translate: “If you’re offended, it’s your own damn fault for being so sensitive because you’ve experienced something devastating.  Lots of people do this so I shouldn’t get backlash because of the “everyone is doing it” argument.  Fine, I’ll apologize to get you off my back.  Sorry.  (Not sorry.)”

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “I Saw The Photo Of The 8 Pregnant Nurses And It Made Me Wonder–Who Is Missing From The Picture?” (An Unexpected Family Outing)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Not So Mommy made an olive green Childless Not By Choice ribbon.  She explains: “We hope others will acknowledge our pain and our resilience.  Because of this, it became apparent that we needed an awareness ribbon.”  She has an additional post about why the ribbon is olive green, and it’s lovely.  Spread awareness.

An Engineer Becomes a Mom has a post about adoptee-therapists.  Why now?  She writes: “I’ve been learning some important things that are never taught by the adoption agencies. Or, being in the throes of the process doesn’t allow us to assimilate all the information that’s being thrown at us as we try to navigate through the emotions and logistics.”  They’re now in a space where they can catch their breath and they’ve realized how valuable an informed therapist can be in helping navigate life.  She also links to an adoptee-therapist directory in case you’re curious if there is one who lives near you.

Lastly, Dreaming of Diapers has a post about Endometrial Receptivity Array (ERA).  Her post outlines her first four attempts as well as why she’s moving on to attempt five.  It’s a fascinating post and very informative.

The roundup to the Roundup: Sometimes people need an apology coach.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 29th and April 5th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Carolyn Hax gave great advice this week to a person asking what to do for a friend after her baby was born still.  The person didn’t know if she should reach out because she hadn’t been formally told about the death.  Hax told her to stop waiting for an invitation to comfort her friend.

I guess what struck me is that — as humans — we seem to wait for an invitation to do good things, such as offer comfort after a loss, but we don’t wait for an invitation to do things like offer unsolicited advice.  Seriously.  How many times has someone inserted their opinion into your life?  But we’re reluctant to jump forward and send a condolence card to acknowledge a loss?  I rarely creep into the comments, but I appreciated this one by Cinnamon Owl: “If you’d heard her husband had died but they hadn’t made a public announcement yet, would you never refer to the death?”

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “So Why Aren’t There More of Us (Part 2)?” (The Road Less Travelled)

Okay, now my choices this week.

No Kidding in NZ is still processing the shooting in the mosque in New Zealand a few weeks ago, and she passes along her Prime Minister’s wise words, which are applicable in so many moments in life.  She explains, “Too often our society doesn’t allow us to grieve – especially when our losses are invisible – and so we have to remind each other that it is okay to grieve, and to ask for help.”  It is a gorgeous post, giving comfort.

The Uterus Monologues has a guest post about staying sane when you’re in crisis mode over a long period of time.  Her poster explains self-compassion: “If you have a friend who was struggling, your response to that person would most probably be along the lines of ‘I am sorry to hear that, it’s OK, I am here if you need me’. Self-compassion is about being able to say that to yourself.”  Such an important skill to practice daily.

Lastly, My Path to Mommyhood has a post about needing to explain that living child-free isn’t a temporary decision.  I love this post for this wonderful summary of a happy life: “Why is it that EVERYONE ELSE has far more difficulty with my childlessness than I do with my childfree status? I mean, it’s sad that we wanted it and it didn’t happen. It’s sad that we fought for so long and at such a great cost that we had to end our own journey. But it can’t STAY sad. My life is NOT sad.”  It made me want to stand up and cheer.

The roundup to the Roundup: Don’t wait to give comfort.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 22nd and 29th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Josh and I are back on the healthy-eating wagon, which means that we mostly text each other several times per day and say things like, “Remember crackers?  Remember how good crackers tasted?”   And then we reassure each other that a handful of almonds are just as satisfying and drink our water.

I gave up sugar for over a month.  I didn’t even cheat and have a cookie while I was making dozens of hamantaschen for our friends.  But then we went to Hershey and a gorged myself on York peppermint patties.  That was a bad idea.  I said goodbye to them once we returned home, even though there are still precious patties left in the bag.  And I went back to almonds and water.

But more than the York peppermint patties, I want crackers.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “How to Choose” (The Uterus Monologues)

Okay, now my choices this week.

I normally don’t include magazine articles, but I have to start off with The Atlantic’s “The Fertility Doctor’s Secret.”  Holy shit.  And probably not a situation the creators of Ancestry.com (or other connection tools such as Facebook) ever imagined during their early years.  “The children Cline fathered with his patients now number at least 50, confirmed by DNA tests from 23andMe or Ancestry.com … They keep in touch through a Facebook group. New siblings pop up in waves, timed perversely after holidays like Christmas or Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, when DNA tests are given as well-intentioned gifts.”  It’s a chilling read.

Life’s Basic Elegance has a post about conflicting feelings.  She talks about a video she posted, pointing out that it’s possible to be sad and filled with hope at the same time.  “Going through seasons of loss and despair is difficult especially when it seems that everyone wants you to move on. But who said moving on means you can’t grieve, that you can’t cry, or that you can’t express your inner brokenness?”  Both truths can exist at the same time.

Lavender Luz has a post about what happens when you’re ready for open adoption but the grandparents are not?  She gives really good advice about setting up healthy boundaries and establishing autonomy as well as closely examining your beliefs.  I love this sentiment: “You will teach your family about love that goes beyond blood and the myriad ways people can be connected through their lives and hearts.”

Lastly, I have to include Res Cogitatae as a fellow dragon wanter. (There are magical creatures I probably want more than a dragon, though the sentiment is the same.) Especially this: “I stopped looking for the door into the faerie realm, the wizard on my doorstep, the quest to come calling … Deep down, though, I’m still the little girl I used to be, the one who escaped to other worlds when she didn’t want to inhabit her own The one who would have given anything to ride on a dragon.”  Me too.

The roundup to the Roundup: I miss crackers.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 15th and 22nd) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Thoughts in random order:

1. We have Tig Notaro tickets.  So excited to see her perform again.  (And it’s the first time for the twins.)
2. Really loved Maureen Johnson’s YA book, Truly Devious.  Like loved it so completely that I ran out to the library to get the next in the series and feel super sad that the third won’t be out for a while.
3. I bumped into the ChickieNob’s old ballet teacher at the post office.  I hadn’t seen her in nine years.  We ended up talking for a while, and it made me so wistful to think about the ways the twins have changed over the years.  Ballet was her life until she decided she didn’t like performing.  She’s my backstage crew girl now.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff

Okay, now my choices this week.

Inconceivable has a post about luck as she moves towards her final transfer.  Maybe I related a bit too much to this: “I like predictability, stability, and known quantities – and privilege has allowed me some insulation from the unpredictability of life in other areas. This, I suspect, is why infertility in general has messed with my sense of self so much.”  Me too.

It’s Inconceivable (it’s an inconceivable extravaganza this week with two different, similarly named blogs) has a post about International Women’s Day.  She asks how the world sees women without children: “Where is the ordinary heroine, living her life after infertility, or baby loss or who is childless by marriage, or one of the many other reasons women haven’t had a child? When do we get to hear about her story, the grief, the despair she’s overcome to get here?”  Celebrate ALL women.

Lastly, Baby Ridley Bump created a book for her child to explain her donor gamete story.  These words made chills go down my arms (in a good, happy way): “But for us, and so many other donor recipients, we take pride in our story and I know for me, I want Georgia to understand and own her story just as much as we do.  We want her to know that every single thing that we did in our journey through infertility was for her, and was from a place of love.”  I just loved this post.  It’s a gorgeous book.

The roundup to the Roundup: Tig, Truly Devious, and ballet.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 8th and 15th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Tomorrow is Random Act of Kindness Day for Thomas, a yearly event created by one of our own.  Kristin was a blogger for a long time in the ALI blogosphere.  Her son, Thomas, was born on March 9th and died on March 10th.  Every year, she asks people to do kindness in his name, filling the world with the goodness he would have contributed himself if he had lived.  I love this idea.

It doesn’t have to be big.  It can be as small as moving through your day thinking about ways you can make it a little bit better for the people around you.

As always, I’m looking to do good in Thomas’s name tomorrow.  Hope you’ll join along, too.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “#MicroblogMondays – I’m a Writer” (An Engineer Becomes a Mom)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Dwelling in Possibility has a gorgeous, bittersweet post about loss.  She is remembering her child, who would have been 21 years old this week, and connecting that loss to the loss of her husband three years ago and sending her living children into the world.  She writes, “This year, though, feels loaded. When I realized the date, and how many years it has been, I started thinking about what it feels like to launch a child into the world … It will be quiet and lonely in this big house all alone. His father was supposed to be here to muffle some of that quiet. But he’s with Ari.”  It is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read.

I missed this post last week, but The Road Less Travelled had a post about finding her tribe with a listserv of other parents trying again after a loss and losing that tribe as the listserv shuts down.  Even if she hadn’t posted there in years, it was a big part of her life when she needed it most.  It’s a sweet goodbye to support that held her up during a hard time.

Lastly, No Kidding in NZ has a post about divides in a larger community, using the divide that exists between people who refer to animals as a fur-baby and those who don’t to prove a point: “Perhaps we should be a wee bit careful when we try to speak for our group. We’re not all the same.”  It’s a great post about how ideas are not one-size-fits-all and that sometimes what we’re taking offense at may not have had offensive intentions behind the words.  It’s a thought-provoking post.

The roundup to the Roundup: Please be kind tomorrow.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 1st and 8th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.