Category — Friday Blog Roundup

We have a neighbour, and every day, she walks her enormous dog. We’re around the same age, so I’ve tried over the years to befriend her, but we’re still in the “hello” stage of acquaintanceship. She always smiles at me when she walks past, but her body language clearly states that she doesn’t want to slow down and chat. It’s not unfriendly; I just haven’t been able to get a conversation going.

Josh noticed that she hasn’t been walking the dog. She still walks past the house mid-day, but there’s no leash. The dog, if still alive, has to be in its mid-teens, so it follows that the dog may not be alive anymore. Hence the missing dog on the walk.

I want to say something, to let her know that we noticed and express our condolences if condolences need to be expressed. But there’s something weird about starting a first conversation like that. We’ve been neighbours for many years, and we’ve only spoken hello to each other and had one other conversation about the dog. I don’t even know her name. I’m just really sad not to see the dog with her anymore.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “She was the ‘queen of the mommy bloggers.’ Then her life fell apart.” (Vox) — thanks, Lori!

Okay, now my choices this week.

Different Shores has a post about not being a mother in your 40s, and how it differs from not being a mother before this point. It’s such an interesting post about being an outlier. She writes, “Now I’m over 40, I’m fairly sure that none of my family or old friends gives a rat’s whether I’m upset or otherwise about not having kids. As I see it now, the only option is to try to own it, or be miserable.” There’s a lot of food for thought.

Anabegins has a post about all the things she’s doing to bring the vacation spirit into her life because she doesn’t have time for a vacation. And I just love this. I too have switched to reading mind candy for the moment. Letting things slide. Sometimes you need to do what you need to do to get by.

Dubliner in Deutschland has a post about keeping up with the news and how it gets under your skin. She explains, “I don’t often write about tragic events in the news on this blog, and sometimes it feels a bit insensitive or shallow to be talking about my day to day life as if I don’t care about what’s happening. The thing is I do care about it all, a lot.” She captures that need to keep informed, and balances it with the emotional reality of hearing bad news.

Lastly, The Road Less Travelled has a post about International Bereaved Mothers Day and why she kept her “literal and cyber mouth shut.” It is for a thoughtful, selfless reason, but it’s also because the world makes it so hard to speak about loss.

The roundup to the Roundup: Sad about the dog.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 3rd and 10th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I somehow missed NIAW this year. I didn’t see posts leading up to NIAW, and I didn’t receive any emails from Resolve about it. (Actually, just realized that it has been a long time since I’ve received any emails from Resolve. And there are none in my SPAM folder.) So I didn’t remember until I saw the post featured below.

On one hand, it feels weird to miss it. On the other hand, I often don’t connect with the NIAW theme. Maybe I’m just not great with themes in general, but I don’t know what I would have said for Infertility Uncovered.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Why I Can’t ‘Get Over It’” (My Path to Mommyhood)
• “Living My Life” (Infertile Phoenix)
• “So Close. So Far. 35 weeks, 4 days.” (By the Brooke)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Dreaming in Diapers has a post for NIAW, though she, too, missed the actual week but still wanted to acknowledge it.  She uncovers how infertility has touched every aspect of her life, admitting that writing it all down makes her feel naked. Except that we all get it. If only the general public got it, too.

Infertile Phoenix’s life has changed drastically from where it was five years ago, but she also has the wisdom gained from those five years. I love that sentiment: “…my past self may not have been able to handle it. That might’ve been the end of me. I would’ve melted into a puddle right there. But, I am not the me of five years ago. I am the me of five years ago plus the past five years.” Cheers to wisdom gained.

Lastly, Lavender Luz has a post about creating an adoptee-centered narrative. She writes about a documentary she saw of a woman trying to discover her origin story. She explains, “But to take on her quest, Reshma needs to explain to everyone — over and over again — that she loves her parents. That her search doesn’t negate them.” It’s a powerful post about “the need to know oneself.”

The roundup to the Roundup: I missed NIAW.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 26th and May 3rd) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I am still blissed out after seeing Alan Cumming on Wednesday. He was in town, performing his new(ish) show, Legal Immigrant. So different from the one we saw last year around this time, but, again, I had the same reaction to his voice. He begins singing, and I just feel happy. There was no huge sadness to climb out of, so it was more like a vitamin. Like all of a sudden, someone dumped a bucket of happiness on me, and I’m still covered in it.

Two songs he sang that I didn’t know that I loved. The first was Dougie MacLean’s “Caledonia.” I love Scotland and consider it my “heart” home — like you know how you’re from one place but you always sense that your heart should have been born in another place? That’s how I feel about Scotland.

The other was a song from Moana. I don’t know anything about Moana, but even Josh’s mouth dropped open when we heard the lyrics because they are so personal and specific to my life. So having a singer who makes you so happy introducing you to a song you’ve never heard before but that describes a chunk of your life? That was a little mind-blowing.

So riding the happiness into the weekend.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Ticket in Hand” (Inconceivable!)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Life Without Baby answers her often asked question: why didn’t you adopt after infertility? Her reason is so simple, so straightforward, based on the “most important piece of advice we were given.” And she points out this fact so well: “Adoption isn’t the next logical step on an infertility journey; it’s a step off that road and onto another completely different path.” Go read the whole post to understand.

It’s Inconceivable has a post about holidays when you don’t have a lot of family members. She examines how holiday celebrations and etiquette have changed over the years, and she writes, “I’m used to my own company nowadays, I just wish society was a bit more inclusive of others who don’t fit into family shaped ‘moulds’.” Important words everyone should hear and think about the next time holidays roll around.

Lastly, The Road Less Travelled has a post about a surprising way of receiving a birth announcement; one that could only exist in the digital age. Go over and read the post (and adjust your settings!) about this happy news.  As she writes about the “glee and grief”: “I am so happy for them. I am SO terrified for them.” Doesn’t that sum up hearing someone else’s pregnancy news now?

The roundup to the Roundup: Covered in a film of happiness thanks to Alan Cumming.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 19th and 26th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I just did my first escape room. It was for the Wolvog’s special day. We got pizza and played pinball beforehand, and then went downtown to a VR escape room. It’s in this wonderfully creepy building; empty and tucked back from the street. The room they put you in is almost completely empty except for a few things on the walls and locked boxes. And then you alternate between exploring the room, trying to solve puzzles, and watching tiny video snippets that provide clues as it reveals the story.

It was so cool to run around the room and try to figure out the clues. I’ll admit that if I had been alone in the room, I would not have escaped because I would have sat down and waited out the hour after hitting the first wall. So it was good to be in the room with my children, husband, and father who DID solve the puzzles and allow me to jump up and down clapping as my contribution. We got out with three minutes to spare.

Oh! And the VR part was the final part. The Wolvog had to put on a VR mask and line up the controller while everyone else pressed these buttons on the wall. It was awesome.

Have you ever done an escape room? We want to go again.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “How Infertility Affects Our World Views” (No Kidding in NZ)
• “Thoughts on 18” (Lavender Luz)

Okay, now my choices this week.

No Kidding in NZ has a post about connections between unconnected experiences. She dissects a person’s post about divorce, pointing out the similarities with the infertility experience: “In particular, she talked about people asking her if she had considered marriage counseling. Replace ‘marriage counseling’ with ‘adoption’ and I could have written the entire paragraph.” It is eye-opening to find other life experiences that echo the same patterns.

Family Building with a Twist has a post about how the feelings of infertility never fully go away, and she links to a piece she read recently on infertility and loneliness.  She explains: “It’s a sisterhood, a club, without formal admission requirements or meetings (or even desire to join). Just pain. It isn’t omnipresent like is was before D was born but it is still there, lingering.” So true.

Bereaved and Blessed marks the eleventh anniversary of Molly’s birth and death. I love hearing how the family remembers her, and also this nugget of wisdom: “As your sibling’s pediatrician told me, not long after you died, we’ll have to continue to explain what happened to Sean, as well as Abby (after she was born/joined our family), because the older they get their comprehension and perspective will grow and change.” And yes, I did get choked up when I read the parts about Harry Potter and the connection with eleven.

Finally, Baby Ridley Bump has a post about letting go of plans to make the best choice right now. She has decided to postpone her transfer in order to give attention to her daughter. She writes: “It’s hard because I wanted our kids to be close in age, but I’ve again learned the lesson about relinquishing control of things that I really have no control over.” It’s a wonderful post about the decisions we make.

The roundup to the Roundup: We escaped the escape room.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 12th and 19th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Have people been watching The American Farm on the History channel? It’s on Thursday nights at 10 pm EST. It covers a year of family farms, following them through the ups and downs of farming, season to season.

There was a line in the description that crawled under my skin: “America’s farmers are heroes who gamble every last dollar on their own two hands.” It reminded me of the line from “Inútil” in Lin-Manuel Miranda’s In the Heights: “He cut the cane / He came home late and prayed for rain / And on the days / When nothing came / My father’s face was lined with shame.”

Because planting crops is an enormous gamble. Raising livestock is an enormous gamble. Having inventory that is completely outside your control; that can shrivel up or get sick and die makes year after year a gamble.

If you’re not watching it, go DVR it. Now. Or watch it online on the History Channel site.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Uterus Monologues has a roundup of 75 pieces of advice after baby loss. She writes: “Just about managing to cut its way through the white noise and static of shock and grief is a notion that this is something that will take time to heal from. But what is less clear is what this actually looks like. What exactly do you do? What do other people do?” So she set out to learn what other people do. And she presented the findings in a post. Brilliant and helpful.

Everything Comes with Pancakes has a post about donor eggs and “So what happens when the babies are old enough to understand it all?” It’s what we’re preparing for all through that babyhood. But it’s what we can never really prepare for, right? I love this line: “She is exceptional and teaches me more about who I want to be every time we connect.” Everyone should have someone so wonderful in their world.

Lastly, I snickered over Torthúil’s panda bear post mostly because my brain works the same way. You’ll need to read it to see what I mean.

The roundup to the Roundup: Farming is fascinating.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 5th and 12th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.