Category — Friday Blog Roundup

I am going to two parties this weekend.  The first is comprised entirely of people I have known for at least eleven years.  Some for much longer than that.  We all knew each other before we met our partners and got married and had children.  It is a group that is entirely entrenched in history and we have found over the years that our roots often inadvertently entwine in the past with shared people we knew even before meeting each other.

The second is comprised almost entirely of people I know via blogging and one old camp friend who I re-met via blogging (who is different from the high school friend I re-met via Twitter–hi, Thea!).  For some, I know the intimate details of their life, but have never seen them face-to-face.  Others started out as online friends and then stepped through the computer screen.

It’s a strange continuum of old and new, but in so many permutations that old and new blend together on one extended plane.

Oh yes, and expect pictures, at least from the second one.

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Speaking of meeting bloggers, last weekend, I got to meet Flicka, Becky, and Niobe, along we other TOOTPUers who were not drenched in vomit and could therefore get together for breakfast.

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The Weekly What If (courtesy, this week, of Calliope): What if Hollywood called and wanted to turn your blog into a movie like Julie and Julia. You get final casting approval. Who would play you?

I don’t know who would play me, but I’d totally get the cast of Brothers & Sisters to play my actual family.

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And now, the blogs…

Life from Here has a post about adoption on the lead-up to her daughter’s first birthday.  Where her life was last year vs. where her life is this year.  She is thoughtful and eloquent and raises wonderful points and then meets them with possible answers.  She is most profound when she speaks about ethics and how they navigated the pre-placement months together.  I found myself nodding a lot while reading.

Relaxing Doesn’t Make Babies has an absolutely brilliant post about the worries that have been hounding her since Kate’s birth.  I love the way she describes that running anxiety: “it’s like my brain decides to suddenly worry about everything at once.”  The post flits from fear to thought to fear, and you almost enter Natalie’s brain, feeling a bit like that anxiety fluttering by like a pack of butterflies.

Waiting Lisa has a post explaining why holiday weekends are the hardest weekends and relates it to the idea of attending a family reunion.  She explains, “Parties like this are big check-ins where we are all supposed to share what has happened with us since we last got together. I have nothing. The only thing that has changed is that I’m missing organs.”  It’s a beautiful, aching post and you need to read it in full.

Lastly, Infertile Newlywed has a post about her husband’s diagnosis and the conversations that came afterward.  It is a simple post about the physical and financial realities of infertility informing the emotional side of infertility.  It is about those all-too-familiar planning conversations; the ones that go above and beyond what someone trying unassisted needs to consider just to get to the starting gate.  It’s a wonderful post.

The roundup to the Roundup: Partying this weekend.  Apparently partied last weekend too.  Answer the Weekly What If.  And lots of great posts to read.

Okay, for the 300th post of the Friday Blog Roundup, we’re going to play a game that I am calling: Blog Marks the Spot. It will air in place of the 299th Friday Blog Roundup on July 30th so we can have a proper Roundup for the 300th post on August 6th.

If you want to be included, this is what you need to do:

Step One: Make a 1 minute video

• It should showcase where you commonly write your blog.  If you take your laptop on the road, feel free to shoot outside your house.  If you commonly work at a desktop, show your messy desk.
• It can also showcase you or you can keep it anonymous.  I would prefer for it to also showcase you (so either set up a tripod or have someone film it or turn the camera around and pop into the frame at the end) but if you do not wish to be featured (since some people blog anonymously), only film inanimate objects.
• Even if you feature yourself, please do not mention your name, your blog name, or show your blog on a screen during the video.
• Please make sure you make one of these types of files: avi, mov, mp4, wmv (email me if you need to use a different type of file).

The question I know you’re going to ask: what if I don’t have a way to shoot video?  You can still participate by taking a photograph of your writing space and describing it in one paragraph.  One brief paragraph.

Step Two: Email me this 1 minute video.

• Email me your video.  Do not post it anywhere, do not load it on YouTube, do not show it to friends.  Just make it and mail it.  If you are going the photo route, email me the photo and paragraph.
• Also email me your blog name and the url.
• The deadline is July 16th.  No videos that come in after July 16th will be included.

Step Three: Wait until July 30th.

• I will upload all the videos and embed them in a single Roundup post.  And you will try to match the blogger with the video from a linked list of participating blogs.  The answers will be announced later in the weekend so you can always go back and visit each blogger’s video and get a glimpse into their writing space.

Important points once again:

• Make your video 1 minute or we’ll be here all day.  Do not go over 60 seconds.
• It can either be anonymous or feature you, but it should feature where you commonly write your blog.
• If you truly can’t shoot video, send a photograph with a one paragraph description of your space.
• Email it to me without showing it to others or loading it on a video-sharing site.  Do not say your name, your blog name, or show your blog in the video.  Make sure you include your blog name and blog url in the email.
• The deadline is July 16th.  Videos that come in after July 16th will not be included.
• Come back  on July 30th to see how many blogs you can identify just from seeing the writing space.  Oh–and get to see a small glimpse into the lives of your favourite bloggers.

If you plan on participating, please let me know by leaving a comment below that says, “I’m in!” Just trying to get a sense of how many videos to expect.

You will be horrified by my writing desk.  I’m not even going to clean it up one bit before I film.

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The Weekly What If: What if you could see the writing space of any blogger out there?  Who would it be? (Not to guilt anyone into making a video just because we want to see your space ever so badly).

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And now, the blogs…

Stacey’s Thoughts on Infertility has a post discussing the past as well as the present.  When she was in the throes of loss, she wasn’t always there for people.  On one hand, she can look at it rationally and say, “Only you know how much you can handle at any given time when you are the one who’s hurting. While it may sound selfish, sometimes you really do have to think about your fragile emotional state and do what’s necessary to protect yourself.”  And now, during pregnancy, she also understands that not everyone will be able to read her blog.  She hopes they will stay, but she also gives her understanding if they need to leave because just as she has mourned the losses, she also needs to feel and express joy over this current baby.  It’s a beautiful, moving post.

The Fertility-Challenged Black Sheep has a post I love and it’s not just because she quotes “Psycho Killer” by Talking Heads which happens to be a family favourite but because it is one of those ordinary trying-to-catch ovulation posts that is both familiar and funny at the same time.  She’s a great, humourous read.

On the other end of the spectrum, A + B, Waiting for C has a really heartbreaking post about her friend’s loss.  It also comes with the realization that she may need to come clean to people in her face-to-face world and how deeply she has been emotionally affected by this experience.

Lastly, Can I Get Some Sugar with These Lemons has a post about her trip.  She writes, “I expected it to be a barren vast land of emptiness, much like me. Perhaps it was a blessing we visited when we did because it was hardly the lifeless space I expected. Instead it was covered in beautiful wildflowers that smelled so strongly we didn’t even need to open the windows.”  The trip is both metaphorically and actually connected to IVF, and it’s a great read filled with stunning pictures.

The roundup to the Roundup: I finally know how we’re going to mark the 300th Friday Blog Roundup–with my video getting-to-know-you/matching game, Blog Marks the Spot.  Let me know if you are planning to participate.  Answer the Weekly What If.  And lots of great blogs to read.

I am quickly approaching the 300th Friday Blog Roundup and I am mulling over what I can do to mark the occasion.  As long as I write one weekly for the next 11 weeks, the 300th Roundup should fall on August 6th, the weekend of BlogHer.  I’d prefer to do something online rather than at BlogHer so all can participate.  But what?

A retrospective of all 1200+ featured posts?  The Roundup in video form (with others including videos showing where they write their blog)?  The 300th Roundup sung to the tune of “Bohemian Rhapsody” (I had to pick a long song since the Roundup tends to run a little long…).

Ideas?

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Today also marks the start of May’s IComLeavWe, another community project.  The list will officially close tonight around 11 p.m. EST (please forgive me if I’m slow with adding people today–I will have you up on the list if you’ve registered on time and started commenting today).

I say this almost every month at the end of the project: “IComLeavWe is about honing your own skill in writing comments, in reaching out, in attempting  to understand a blog very different from your own.”  Hopefully, there is the added bonus of receiving comments and adding new readers.  But at its heart, IComLeavWe is about being an altruistic member of a community.

That thought makes me smile.

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The Weekly What If: What if you could stop aging at one point and continue for the remaining years of your life at that age (in other words, if you chose to stop aging at 20, you would remain 20, living those college years, but you would do so for another 60 years before dying as a 20 year old).  Everyone around you would remain their same age as well (in other words, you could keep your family and friends in the same time frame).  What year would you choose and why?

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And now, the blogs…

Him + Me has a post about the world that opens up when you give up hope.  It’s about allowing yourself to feel upset, but looking at the month with a different perspective.  I thought it was a really interesting way of approaching each cycle.

The Shifty Shadow has a moving post to her daughter on what should have been her fourth birthday.  She apologizes to her daughter for having other losses remembered on her birthday too and writes, “That your death becomes more than your death, it becomes a symbol for all the little deaths, and eventually, the death of hope.”  You will not be able to read this post without crying for a girl who should be here right now.

The Infertility Doula has a post up about a new TLC show called “Pregnant at 70.”  She admits, “Before watching the show, I had a pretty good idea about what I might want to say, but now, I’m really torn.”  An interesting discussion is starting in the comment section–go jump in with your thoughts.

Allison’s Wonderland has a post about how her family is reacting to news of her upcoming IUI.  It’s a really funny, sweet post and she admits, “after a good bout of heebie-jeebies, I can say that I am sincerely touched. This wanting a child thing extends beyond me.”

Kir’s Corner has a post that will send chills down both arms as you read the story.  It’s a beautiful story of how sometimes the right person comes to you at the right time.

Lastly, Do Without Doing has a post about learning to enjoy the journey rather than looking behind or ahead.  Returning to the theme of giving up hope explored on Him + Me, this post is literally about not trying to force life.  In moving with the flow.  In soaking up the moment.  It is a lovely reminder of not missing out on what is happening right now because we’ll forget so much of it years from now.

The roundup to the Roundup: the 300th Roundup is soon approaching.  IComLeavWe kicks off today.  Answer the Weekly What If.  And lots of great posts to read.

I can’t really put into words how much the comments on my last post mean to me.  Feelings that enormous defy words and can only be captured in interpretive dance or orchestral music or a personal Cirque du Soleil show.  Reading the comments is like putting on a sweatshirt after the sun has gone down and it’s really cold on the beach.  They are like the first sip of really good soup.  They are like your mother bringing you hot chocolate when you’re playing in the snow.

I said in my last post that I was lonely and isolated, and you heard me, and I wanted to say a very public thank you to Kir, Susy, Mrs. Spock, Half a Duo, N, J, Lavender Luz, S, Tigger, A, JJ, Heather, Luna, Michelle, Angie, Justine, Gil, Wishing4One, Mrs. Gamgee, Genevieve, and Teamwinks who started to wipe away the blues with their comments.

I have equally loved leaving comments with all the Celebratory Society participants.  Is the whole thing self-indulgent?  Yes, but I’m glad I didn’t wait to tell people how much they mean to me and I’m thankful that they gave me a space to do so.  It creates a sense of peace to place the words down on the screen and I look forward to writing more comments as others join along.

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I have finally finished the 2009 Creme de la Creme, several months after the March 1st deadline.  Sorry about that.  Everyone who turned in their post by March 1st is on the list, and the list is officially closed for the year with 288 entries.  I must truly be crazy because as I put the project to rest, I cleaned up the spreadsheets and marked down notes for myself to use next year, readying myself to do this again.  The 2010 list won’t open until early November, but like a Girl Scout, I’m prepared.

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Our new passion is geocaching, letterboxing, and waymarking.  We sort of do a mishmash of all three, recording our journey in a collective notebook.  And we do it without a GPS using the instructions we found here.  We like to fancy-it-up and make our own little treasure maps.  I’ve decided that we’re going to make geo-letter-waying a once-a-week summer activity.  We have pool time three days a week and the farm one day a week, and suddenly, the entire summer is filled.

The cache I’m most excited to see I’m going to go to alone tomorrow.  Someone has hidden one inside the local library.  I’m armed with a call number and clues.  I can’t wait to find out what’s there.

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The Weekly What If: what if you could find a magical geocache and control with your mind what inanimate object would be found inside in the box.  What would you find when you peeled off the lid which would be yours for the taking?  In other words, what hidden treasure do you wish you could find?

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And now, the blogs…

Creating a Miracle has a wonderful post asking if she’s the only person who feels this way during a particularly tough stage with her child.  She writes, “I need to know that the way I’m feeling is normal. I feel cheated and overwhelmed. I’m frustrated and tired.”  And perhaps that is what I love about blogs–that no one needs to wonder if they’re the only person who has felt guilt as they paced with a screaming infant.  Other people can chime in, keeping her virtual company even if they don’t have a solution.

Jumping Through the Hoops also has a post about feeling out of sorts, mainly around other mothers.  She admits, “I love talking to other Moms, but sometimes I leave feeling like I don’t belong. I can’t quiet put my finger on it. I know our struggles with infertility and Ruby’s health problems are the major reasons. A lot of the time I still feel like an outsider looking in.”  Personally, I love the point she makes about it being okay to complain about the negative tasks of the job–the cleaning of poop and picking up dropped items.  It’s our internal steam release.

Overcoming Obstickles has a post about finding peace and having it shattered.  It is an incredibly moving and brutally honest post about taking care of herself only to regret that care after a phone call.  She explains, “I feel utterly betrayed. Betrayed by the universe, betrayed by my friend, but most of all, betrayed by my own good intentions and love for myself.”  You must read the whole post from start to finish.

Lastly, I am always a sucker for blog posts about blogging, especially particularly well-written ones, so I love this post at Edenland.  I love this line: “It’s so damn FUN …. looking back, looking forward, and the best kind of blogging …. looking within.”  Anyone who can compare her future elderly hands to cling wrap has my reading eyes hostage.  But mostly, I liked the look back to her old blog, the place where I met her and where she first started searching for her voice.  And I’m so glad she found it.

The roundup to the Roundup: Thank you to those who washed my blues away with kind words.  The Creme is finished–read and enjoy.  Off to go geo-letter-waying.  Answer the Weekly What If.  And lots of great posts to read.

You know when you haven’t exercised in a while and you return to running and you take a few gingerly-conducted jogs in place for a moment, wondering if you’ve still got it?  That’s sort of how I feel about writing the Roundup.  I mean, I wrote yesterday just as I write every day, but I also got my hair chopped off and I usually find that cutting off my hair affects my writing ability–not to be crazy or anything.

But it’s really short.

Like…football-helmet-made-out-of-hair short.

I did some deep breathing on the ride home, wondering why I didn’t give her more scientific instructions on how I wanted the cut to go.  My mother had suggested bringing pictures of hair I like, but that’s sort of the thing: there is no hair style I like that would also go with my hair type.

When I see people later in the day, I’ll ask them to take a picture.  It sort of looks like when-flappers-go-bad.

On the other hand, while I was a sniveling mess on the inside about her haircut, the ChickieNob mounted the salon chair and sat calmly for fifteen minutes, serenely smiling to herself while the stylist trimmed several inches off her hair.  She came out looking adorable and all of my fears were quelled when she returned to being her little spicy self, entertaining the other ladies at the salon with her sassiness.  She still has the personality of a southern-fried Sabra.

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The Weekly What If: what if the greatest hair stylist in the world was willing to cut and style your hair for free for the rest of your life, but you’d have no say in what style she chose for you.  It would never be terrible since this person would be the stylist to the stars, but you’d have to roll with whatever style she thinks works best with your face and trends in the moment.  Would you do it?

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The book finally has a name.  I mean, yes, it had a working title, but now it has a final title–one that is being slapped on the galleys.

Life from Scratch

So…an enormous thank you to everyone who helped name the book.  A specific thank you to A, who threw out “from scratch” and Lisa who suggested throwing the word “life” before that.  I love the new title.  It is cozy and stable and makes me smile.

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And now, the blogs…

Creating Motherhood has a post about that desire to speed up time while simultaneously slowing it down.  It is about being in that uncomfortable panic where you have to sit with the fact that you can’t know the future.  And just trust.  It’s a moving post.

Infertile Follies has a post about a question a friend asked: “is it the lack of a baby, or the lack of control that makes infertility painful for you?”  It is about finding clarity and understanding how much infertility shakes her feeling of purpose.

Bottoms Off and On the Table has a post about rebuilding love.  She begins with the route she thought that renewal of love would take and then veers onto her own road, which she describes as “It didn’t come from a place of joy where love is easy. It came from a place of despair. We had a choice and we chose us.”  It is just a gorgeous post.

Lastly, Two Shorten the Road has an eerie post about a song.  The post gave me pause because I too have a song that keeps popping up in my life.  The title of the song is a family joke of something my grandfather once said to me, and the song has played continuously in moments connected to my grandparents, including the graveyard at my grandmother’s funeral.  I don’t mean that we played this song…but you’ll need to read her post in order to understand.

The roundup to the Roundup: We all survived the Big Cut of 2010.  Answer the Weekly What If.  There’s a title for the book!  And lots of great blogs to read.