Updated: the Creme de la Creme of 2010 was posted on January 1st, but read below to see how you can become part of the list.

Believe it or not, this is the fifth anniversary of the little Creme de la Creme.  If you’re unfamiliar with the project, read on to understand. If you’ve participated in years past, you know how much fun the list is when its revealed on January 1st. So, I hereby declare the Creme de la Creme list open.

I know this is loooooong, but please read this whole post before submitting your entry. Every year, the rules change slightly in order to streamline the process.

If you didn’t read or participate in this list in 2006 or in 2007 or in 2008 or in 2009, the impulse behind this list are the ubiquitous award ceremonies that crawl out of their hiding spaces usually around December or January. Awards are nice — it’s good to honour someone and mark big accomplishments. But we all have a best post tucked into our archives. We all have words that have moved another person or ideas that have kicked off a series of musings. Bloggers are writers, and all of us deserve to be celebrated.

And we’re doing just that.

This is the way it works. If you want to participate, read through your archives and choose a favourite post. You can leave all sorts of comments below telling me how fantastic I am, but fill out the form to send in your submission (do not leave it in the comments section–the point of this list is also the surprise of seeing the choices revealed on a single day). If you post your link below, I will delete it. Again, feel free to leave love comments below — in fact, please do leave love comments below — but not your submission for the list. Let’s keep it a surprise until the list is ready to go up.

You can only choose one entry. You cannot be modest. Everyone has a best post. There is no such thing as a boring blog. Even if you don’t think you have any readers because you’ve never received a comment, you have a best post. The one that you felt really good about when you hit publish. The one that would be the post you’d put forward if an editor called you tomorrow and said, “I have this great writing job for you that will pay a million dollars an hour. You just need to submit one blog entry to get this job so we can check your writing style.”

Even if you just found my blog because you read about the Creme de la Creme on another person’s blog, you are not only welcome to submit; you are encouraged. It is the best posts of 2010 for the ALI community and that community includes anyone who writes about infertility, adoption, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, neonatal death, assisted reproduction, pregnancy after infertility or loss, and every related topic — from living child-free after infertility to parenting after infertility. Everyone on the blogroll (or could be on the blogroll) is welcome to participate. Really, you don’t need to be a regular reader of my blog to join in. It’s open to everyone in the ALI blogosphere. I can’t say this in more ways than that. Which means you don’t need to write me a note asking if it’s okay to participate. The answer is yes. Okay?

Actually, it’s not only “yes;” it’s “please do.”

The list will be posted January 1st and I promise that you will use up a good portion of the beginning of the year reading through the most stunning posts you’ve ever seen. We had 288 posts last year, and I’d really like to top that this year. My goal is all 2500+ blogs currently on the blogroll, but barring that, let’s aim for over 400. Which means that not only do you have to participate if you’re reading this, but you need to spread the word and get other bloggers to participate (more on that below). Link to this post, send out a note to other bloggers you like, and suggest favourite posts to bloggers from this past year.

Um…other FAQ-like things:

How many posts can I submit?

You can only submit one. Please don’t submit two and ask me to choose. Submit one.

How will I know that you received my entry?

When you hit submit on the form, you should get a screen telling you that I have my entry.  If you don’t see that screen, I don’t have your entry.

I sent in a post last week but I just wrote one that I love more! Can I switch my submission?

The short answer is no. The reason is that I write up the blurbs that appear next to each entry. This takes a lot of time. When you change your post, I have to write another blurb. Therefore, think carefully. But get your post in early so it’s high up on the list. But take your time picking it so you’re positive it’s the one you want on the list. But don’t give this too much thought…

If you just submitted it an hour earlier and realized you sent the wrong link, email me quickly so I can change it. Once I write the blurb, it’s set. I mean, you can pull your blog from the list, but you can’t submit a different link.

How do I know which one is my best?

Think of this list in sort of the same vein as those “Best American Short Story”-type collections except that it’s blog entries and everyone in the blogosphere should be represented with a link. The idea of the creme de la creme is not to put out there “the best” by someone else’s definition of “best.” It’s to put out the entry that means the most to you. Everyone has a best entry from 2010. It’s the one you would cry about if it was ever eaten by your computer. Even if it’s only meaningful to you.

I’m having a lot of trouble choosing my best one.

Why don’t you give a few choices to a friend and get their opinion? Don’t get hung up on the word “best.” It’s more about presenting a small taste of your blog. A lot of people read the list each January and it’s a chance for them to get to know your blog in one post. The goal, of course, is not only to honour every blog, but to also introduce everyone. Think of it like a cocktail party. You certainly think about what you wear, but everything doesn’t hinge on this one outfit.

I want to submit a post about my dog/favourite recipe/vacation in Hawaii. So … er … it’s not about adoption/infertility/loss. Can I? Or I want to submit a post but it has pictures of my baby in it. Do you think this is okay for an IF list?

Well, this list is sort of a pu-pu platter of the ALI community. Therefore, if your post is about your ski trip last winter, it doesn’t really show any emotion, thought, or event flitting through the community. Still, people have submitted off-topic posts in the past. If you have any part of the post that if ALI-related, all the better though.

The second question is a sensitivity one. Personally, I think that babies are part of the community and territory. The reality is that we’re all working towards parenthood or were once working towards parenthood. And children are included in that. I try to always mention in my blurb if it’s about a baby or if there are photos so people are given a heads up before they click over. So, yes, send posts that have photos in it and I will make sure that people know the gist of the post before they click over if they’re in a sensitive space.

I’m a man. Can I participate?

Are you part of the ALI community? Then didn’t you read above? EVERYONE is invited to participate. Male, female, young, old, married, single, gay, straight, everyone everyone everyone.

I’m a tree shrew. Can I participate?

Er … a tree shrew with a blog? An infertile tree shrew with a blog? I guess … I mean … I did say everyone …

I just started my blog in October. Can I participate?

As long as you’ve had one post in 2010, you can participate. Even if you didn’t start your blog until October 2010. Just choose your best from the last two months.

My blog is password protected. Can I participate?

If your blog is password protected and you want to participate, choose your blog entry and create a free blog at Blogger or WordPress and post that single entry. Then send me the link so I can place it on the list. I can’t link to password protected blogs.

When is the deadline for getting in my submission (and this has changed since last year so pay attention)?

To ensure that you’re on the list on January 1st, please fill out the form by December 15th. If you submit after December 15, you will be on the list, but you will probably go up after people have started reading on January 1st.

The 2010 list doesn’t technically close until January 31, 2011.  Therefore, if it is after January 1st and the list is already up, you can still submit as long as it is before 11 pm EST on January 31, 2011.  After that point, the list will be close to new entries and I’ll be working to get up the last remaining few.

So, just to reiterate — (1) if you submit before December 15th, you will be on the list on January 1st. (2) If you submit between December 16th and 31st, you may be on the list January 1st, but more likely, you’ll be on some point after January 1st. (3) If you submit between January 1st and 31st, you’ll go up on the list as soon as possible. And then the list is closed until next year when the new one opens.

Can you post another link to the form right now because I’ve decided to submit.

Sure, here’s another link to the form. Just fill it out and hit send and it will go into the Creme de la Creme spreadsheet.

If you don’t want to participate, do nothing. With the Creme de la Creme List, I never add a blog or highlight a post unless the author has sent it to me. Therefore, no hurt feelings. If your post isn’t on the list, it’s because you haven’t sent one. If you see someone missing from the list after it is posted, go bug them and tell them to submit a post. But don’t send me a note asking me to add them without their permission. I really would like this post to be what the author believes is their best post, but if you are feeling shy and can’t choose, enlist a friend to help you narrow it down and choose your best work.

Lastly, there is another section of the list that needs your help: blogs that closed in 2010. These are blogs that closed entirely — the person stopped blogging and said specifically that they were not going to post any longer — not blogs that went password protected or the person moved their blog to a new space. If you read a blog that closed during 2010, please send me the title of the blog. It doesn’t matter if it was read by one person or read by 5000 people, all blogs should be honoured and recognized. And all blogs stand on the same plateau here.

Spread the word with the following button on a post or your sidebar to encourage others to send a link:

The code for adding the link to your blog can be found here.

Everyone has a best post. It is your personal best. It is not best by any other standard. Stop comparing yourself. Stop feeling shy. Stop thinking it’s immodest to toot your own horn when I’ve told you to toot your own horn. Start reading through your archives. Reflect on the year. And then send me a link for the list.

Wheew. Sorry about that last part. But everyone in the blogosphere should be represented and honoured.

I didn’t want to go this morning. I woke up late after having this dream about wanting to take home a cyclops, vomiting guinea pig from a pet fair held at the local middle school which had been redone to look like a mall. The cyclops guinea pig had seen me walking below (his cage was high up near the ceiling) and he had taken a running leap out of his cage to land in my arms. I was cradling him on his back so I could see when he was about to throw up and lovingly tipping him towards the ground so the vomit landed away from us. Seriously, how could you get out of bed and shlep yourself down to a rally after having a dream like that?

But, of course, I hauled myself out of bed, showered, packed up my reasonable sign, and explained to the twins why we were shleping down to the rally, and in explaining it to them, it sort of became clear to me and was the fuel I needed to get in the car and stand on the chilly Mall with other people desiring the same thing.

Because reasonableness is like that cyclops guinea pig and it needs me to love it and cradle it just as much as my vomiting pet.

Or something like that.

On the way to the rally

Turning onto the Mall

Hey, I found Lindsay in that sea of 200,000+ people

Welcome back to IComLeavWe. It stands for International Comment Leaving Week, but if you say it aloud, doesn’t it sounds like “I come; [but] leave [as a] we”? And that’s sort of the point. Blogging is a conversation and comments should be honoured and encouraged. I like to say that comments are the new hug–a way of saying hello, giving comfort, leaving congratulations.

Here is the vital information, pure and simple (a more detailed set of rules follows below the list):

• The list opens the 1st of every month. It remains open until the 21st. You can add yourself at any point. The list is open to everyone in the blogosphere–blog writers and/or blog readers.
• Add yourself to the list by filling out this form: The list is now closed (the new list will open 12/1).
• Click here to cut-and-paste this bit of code to add to your sidebar (if you have the old code from another month, remove it and replace it with this one). You need to add the icon or a link to the current list on your blog (see below) and will not be added until it’s up.
• Commenting kicks off every month on the 21st. Please mark it somewhere (calendar, post-it note taped to your computer…), though I will be sending out an email reminder on the 20th. Commenting week runs from the 21st to the 28th. Every day, leave 5 comments and return 1 comment for a total of 6 comments. You are highly encouraged to choose the blogs you comment on from the participants list below, but this is not required.
• I will send a second email on the 28th to remind you to remove the icon from your blog.
• Read below if you want to find out about Iron Commenters.
• The commenting ends on the 28th. We catch our breath and the whole thing starts again the next month on the 1st. Drop in and out according to what is happening in your life between the 21st and the 28th.

1. Stirrup Queens (twins, books, writing)
2. Three Cats and a Baby (new baby, adoption, infertility)
3. Infertility And Me (azoospermia, mfi, pregnant)
4. Here We Go Again (parenting, life after, humor)
5. InDueTime (life, infertility, pcos)
6. Our New Normal (adoption, pregnancy loss, learning to heal)
7. Baby Magnesi (infertility, mfi, depression)
8. A Half Baked Life (pregnancy after loss, food, yoga)
9. Maybe Baby . . . (or maybe the loony bin?) (pregnancy after ivf)
10. Write, Baby, Repeat (adoption, donor eggs, parenting)
11. Our Someday Family (new baby, mfi, random)
12. The 2 Week Wait (ttc, infertility, humor)
13. Being Joyful Always (weight loss, faith, infertility)
14. Lifeslurper (over 40, donor eggs, pregnancy loss)
15. Whitterer On Autism (humor, family, autism)
16. Planting a Pumpkin Patch (ttc, loss, pumpkins)
17. The Road Less Traveled (infant loss, IVF, embryo adoption)
18. Dragondreamer’s Lair (parenting, secondary infertility, crafts)
19. Aisha Iqbal (motherhood, writing, life)
20. Our Miracle in the Making A Great Joy is Coming (pregnancy after IF or loss, immune issues)
21. Someday (dIUI, birthday, family)
22. Savor the Moment (pcos, love, hope)
23. Woman Anyone? (unexplained infertility, surprise pregnancy, third trimester)
24. The Miss Ruby (living childless, longtermttc)
25. We got hitched. We bought the 4 bedroom house. We had twins. Now what??? (parenting after infertlity/loss, twins, life)
26. Trying for a baby (TTC, IVF, endometriosis)
27. Digital-Damita.net (frugal, green, ttc)
28. Flogging the Muse (art, painting, creativity)
29. This non-American Life (travel, expat life, Germany)
30. Your Great Life (fertility coaching, emotional support, family-building)
31. My Hopeful Journey (hope, coping, support)
32. My Ordinary Miracles (success after infertility, toddler, twins)
33. The Infertility Overachievers (secondary IF, IVF, son)
34. The Pursuit of Pregnancy (infertility ttc ivf)
35. Waiting for a baby bump (IVF, infertility, male factor)
36. Blawnde’s Blawg (infertility, pcos, IUI)
37. Waiting for that Positive (TTC, life, positivity)
38. ..Sam’s Town.. (twins, after infertility, photography)
39. Grief, Interrupted (grief, acceptance, special needs)
40. I Blog Because of Peer Pressure (twins after IF, miscarriage, life)
41. Heeeeere Storkey, Storkey! (twins, life, pregnancy)
42. Biz Mommy (inspiration, blogging, working from home)
43. Plans Change (adoption, infertility, teaching)
44. Getting There (adoption, waiting, life)
45. MyTTCstory (TTC, IVF, infertility randomness)
46. The Infertility Therapist (psychological aspects, infertility)
47. Three Little Birds (grief, son, photos)
48. NOT so Fertile Mertile (ivf, infertility, hope)
49. Riding the IVF Roller Coaster (1st egg donor cycle)
50. My Infertility Journey (parenting, infertility, ttc#2)
51. All In One Basket (hypothalamic amenorrhea, egg donation, owls)
52. Walking and Unknown Path (infertility, ivf, god)
53. Life In A Glass House (transracial adoption, god, parenthood)
54. The Inadequate Conception (infertility, adoption, humor)
55. Lil Family Blog (lesbian, toddlers, photography)
56. As Fast As My Baby Can (ttc#1, unexplained infertility)
57. Fervently Wishing (smc, health, ttc)
58. Sharee’s Stolen Angels Blog (faith, healing after loss, encouragement)
59. Mommy In Waiting (ttc, failed IVF, finding hope)
60. Musings of an Everyday Weight Loss Guru (weight loss, life, emotions)
61. His & Her Infertility (Just Like The Matching Towels) (PCOS, azoo, international adoption)
62. CD1 Again (infertility, sadness, on break)
63. Raising Cain (someday) (infertility, IVF, waiting)
64. For We Are Bound By Symmetry (ttc #1, unexplained infertility)
65. Bio Girl (parenting, infertility, endometriosis)
66. Banking On It (ivf, immunology/mthfr, mfi)
67. Write Mind Open Heart (open adoption, mindfulness, perfect moments)
68. A Woman My Age (adoption, infertility, parenting after 40)
69. Lily in the Valley (infertility, marriage, stepparenting)
70. Storm in My Teacup (IVF, TTC, happy)
71. Mommies Here! (adoption, infertility, life)
72. Ready For My Bundle (infertility, adoption, job loss/search)
73. Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed (infertility, POF, NaBloPoMo)
74. Not a Fertile Myrtle (male factor, endo, life)
75. Semi-fertile (loss, perspective, break)
76. The Infertility Doula (support, news, social commentary)
77. Flucky Mom (motherhood, opinion, life)
78. I’m Just Being Honest (IVF, deployment, life)
79. Half Baked Banana Bread (parenting after infertility, premies, life and love)
80. Project Baby (infertility, donor sperm, IUI)
81. Inspired Ima (triplets, jewish, food)
82. Find Joy Now (joy, adoption, parenting)
83. Are We There Yet (post-fibroid removal, high risk pregnancy, anxiety)
84. Cradles and Graves (2nd tri losses, IVF #2 – our very last chance)
85. The Panda Diaries (pregnancy, life, depression/anxiety)
86. Cloudy With A Chance of Hope (infertility, child loss, grief)
87. Rocky Road to Motherhood (IVF, infertility, life)
88. Autistic Child’s Parent (educating autistic children)
89. Musings of a Wannabe Mommy (humor, donor eggs, endometriosis)
90. Venting Vagina (ivf#2, embryo testing, unexplained)
91. Creating a Family (infertility, adoption, adoptive parenting)
92. Stumbling Gracefully (motherhood (after loss), photos, freebies)
93. My Infertile Confessions (IVF #1, G-d’s will, life)
94. Québécoise et bilingue, a Bilingual Quebecker’s Blog (Montreal, life, love)
95. Parenthood for Me (infertility, adoption, coping)
96. ErnieGirl (pregnant infertile birthmother)
97. If Life weren’t so IFfy (life, adoption, infertility)
98. Autism Mom Rising (autism, spirituality, overcoming adversity)
99. The Denver Autism Wheel (children, autism, optimism)
100. On Tap for Today (life, humor, Boston)
101. Enchilada Sunrise (fibrecrafts, bipolar, life)
102. The Suburban Princess Diaries (babies, parenting, pregnancy)
103. We Met on Match.com (IVF, TTC, infertility)
104. Just us and the Cat (ectopic, miscarriage, IVF)
105. Unglamorous (parenting, marriage, life)
106. MissyMom in Madrid (life in Europe, family, in the kitchen)
107. Musings of a Hormonal Egg Basket (pregnancy after IVF)
108. Mama Bear (adoption, infertility, pregnancy)
109. Ambivalent Womb (ivf #3, mfi)
110. Hearts Joined, Hands Fast (infertility, mfi, ttc#1)
111. A Page In My Book (parenting, preemies, special needs)
112. My Lovely Lady Bump (pregnancy, first time parents)
113. The King and Eye (autism, family, parenting)
114. Not Just an Army Wife (military, infertility, loss)
115. To Those Who Wait (infertility, IUI, life)
116. Life: Chats and Rants (pcos, ttc, life)
117. Artificially Fertile Myrtle (parenting after infertility, twins, humor)
118. Still Working on that Due Date (endometriosis, secondary infertility, IVF)
119. Cold Cups of Tea (autism, parenting, yoga)
120. The Barreness (infertility, dreams, reflections)
121. All I Ever Wished For (infertility, ivf, life)
122. The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own (infertility, ttc)
123. Believing in June (pregnancy after infertility)
124. A Virtual Hobby Store and Coffee Shop (food, news, prayer)
125. My So-Called Life (humor, awkward, life)
126. Cape Girl’s Journey (pregnancy, IVF, stillbirth)
127. The Cortes Baby Dance (IVF, egg donor, PCOS)
128. Looking for my Keys (infertility, foster adoption, special needs)
129. Light Of Aquarius (aquarius, age of aquarius)
130. Our Little Family’s Journey (IVF#3, TTC#2, family)
131. Too Beautiful for Earth (miscarriage, grief, healing)
132. Adoption Journey (adoption, motherhood, adoption support)
133. A Greater Yes (embryo adoption, infertility, parenting)
134. Just Beginning (pcos, injectibles, iui)
135. The Sun’ll Come Out Tomorrow (I Hope) (multiple losses, childfree-living?)
136. Body Diaries by Lucy (parenting, infertility, pcos)
137. Whole Heartedly (loss, ivf, life)
138. Whitney & Erick – Our Home on the Web (infertility, miscarriage, IVF)
139. Yolk (infertility, ttc, life)
140. Scrambled Eggs-A Journey from IVF to Baby-Maybe (ivf, fertility, ttc)
141. I Spy A Family (adoption, motherhood)
142. My Beautiful, Messy Life (grief, parenting, spirituality)
143. Valentina in the Sky (stillbirth, dark humor, growth)
144. My Journey with Endometriosis (endometriosis, fet#1, pregnancy loss)
145. Trying Not to Scream (infertility, loss, trying again)
146. A little blog about the big infertility (recurrent loss, crappy eggs, IVFs)
147. Romancing the Stone (IVF, new baby, miracles)
148. All in G-d’s Time (adoption, embryo adoption, infertility)
149. Rammi.glomp.me (rants, whatever comes into my head at 11PM, randomness)
150. Wanna Bee (adoption, loss, craftiness)
151. ThatGirlWithEndo (endometriosis, pain, infertility)
152. Mommy In Waiting (infertility, waiting, IVF failure)
153. No Baby Ruth (PCOS, IUI, pregnancy)
154. Kate the Poet (writing, parenting, college)
155. Teresa’s Pieces (infertility, multiple ivfs, egg quality issues)
156. Infertility Unexplained (unexplained infertility, acupuncture, IUI)
157. In a Nutshell (severe mfi, ivf, anguish )
158. The Barreness’s Blog (parenting after infertility)
159. Finding Me After IF (3rd trimester, infertility, family)
160. Waiting For Our Miracle (FET, IVF, IF)
161. Searching for the Missing Piece (miscarriage, adoption, life)
162. The Eternal Guestroom (ttc #1, infertility, thoughts)
163. Transplanted Thoughts (life, boys, humor)
164. Surely Goodness and Mercy (RPL, IUI, hope)
165. Calmly Chaotic (ivf#1, injections, design)
166. Air Force Mummy (miscarriage, parenting, loss)
167. That’s My Answer (question of the day, life, fun)
168. The Road Less Traveled (unexplained infertility, life)
169. Survive and Thrive (infertility, eft, movies)
170. Ginger and Lime (infertility, mfi, confusion)
171. Discovering Joy In The Storm (MFI, faith, family)
172. The (In)fertility Diaries (new baby, adoption, life)
173. Circus Children (messages, moments, miracles)
174. A Little Bit of Life (pregnancy after infertility, marriage, life)
175. Infertile Follies (infertility, IVF, ectopic pregnancy)
176. Life with Endometriosis and PCOS (pcos, endo, trying again)
177. Misfit Mrs. (recurrent miscarriage, infertility, crazy family)
178. It’s Always Raining (infertility, life, foster parenting)
179. No Suzy Homemaker (IVF, RPL, stillbirth)
180. Chasing Mommyhood (single, ttc, iui#4)
181. Our TTC Journey (infertility, ivf #2, ttc)
182. My Little Science Experiment (success through ivf)
183. Salvageable (pregnancy, life, work)
184. Mission: Fertile Soul (fertility, coping, happiness)
185. Mydustyuterus (infertility, exercise, humor)
186. Removing Roadblocks (infertility, faith, food)
187. Carpe Diem (grief, infertility, relationships)
188. Random Thoughts from Angie (IVF, life, humor)
189. Jen’s Seven From Heaven (open adoption, support for birthmom)
190. Life in the White House (donor sperm, daughter, crafting)
191. Stork Stalking (SMC, pregnancy after loss)
192. The Bushey Life (pregnancy after infertility)
193. The list is now closed (the new list will open 12/1)

Q: What if I miss a day?

A: Catch up the next day by doubling your comments–12 comments instead of 6.

Q: What if I have two blogs? Can I sign up twice, listing both blogs?

A: Yes, but you also need to double your comments. If you have two blogs listed, you should be leaving 12 comments per day.

Q: What is an Iron Commenter?

A: Not for the faint-of-heart. People who wish to be an Iron Commenter and be entered on the Iron Commenter honour roll need to leave a comment on every blog on the participants list (exceptions are blogs that require you to have a special log-in, such as some LiveJournal accounts or other similar situations). You can spread out this commenting any way you wish over the whole week, but the final comment needs to be left by midnight on the 28th (EST). Reaching Iron Commenter status is done on an honour system. Please email me if you earn Iron Commenter status so I can add you to the wall of honour.

Q: Why do I have to add that bit of code to my sidebar?

A: The code is the latest icon (the icon changes colour every month so you know that you’re on the right list). This month, the icon is navy blue, the next month it will be green, etc. The reason is two-fold: (1) it enables more people to find out about IComLeavWe and (2) it gives you easy access to the current list once the commenting week actually begins and better ensures that you’ll use it. Too many times, people sign up and forget to actually do IComLeavWe and this icon gives you a daily reminder (with the dates on it) every time you open your own blog. The icon is linked back to the current list. On the 28th, remove the icon from your blog. A new one will be created for the next month.

Q: It’s the 23rd and I just saw this for the first time on my friend’s blog! I want to join the list–why can’t I?

A: Because IComLeavWe happens every month, once the list is closed, it’s closed. If you’re finding out about this on the 23rd, you can’t join the current month. But leave yourself a note to check back in a week on the 1st and you can sign up for the next month.

Q: You said the list closes on the 21st. Well, it’s still the 21st where I am. Why aren’t you moving my information onto the list?

A: All dates and times are U.S. Eastern Standard Time (UTC/GMT -5 hours). The list closes around 11 p.m. EST on the 21st.

Q: What if no one comments on my blog and I have no comments to return?

A: Well, that really doesn’t happen for the most part, but in that case, simply choose another blog and add an additional comment. The goal is to hit 6 comments daily as a minimum. Going over that is fantastic and encouraged.

Q: Mel, my question wasn’t covered at all. What do I do?

A: Email me; I’m quite friendly. It helps to place “IComLeavWe” in the subject line. You could also check this post which contains the history of IComLeavWe and see if you can glean anything there.

Looking for the comment section? It has been closed on this post. Use the form in the directions to add yourself to the list.

It will be so nice to have all of you with me at the rally (at least in spirit) on Saturday.  You can still add your name to the sign (it’s a pretty big piece of orange poster board) until tonight around 9 pm.  Then I need to finish it off and make sure it’s dry before we head down in the morning.  Will post pictures and stories on Saturday night.

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The Weekly What If: Even though this isn’t possible, if the elections next Tuesday came down to a single vote and YOU cast the final vote deciding the election (a la Swing Vote), would you want people to know this weekend that you have the deciding vote?  How about after the vote has been cast?  Or would you rather it remain a secret?

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The Creme de la Creme is coming, the Creme de la Creme is coming (like the Redcoats, but less violent).

The Creme de la Creme list will open on Monday.  Tuesday at the latest.  I’m giving you this heads up because some people want to be towards the top of the list.  So … take the weekend to read through your archives, pick a few favourites, ask readers to vote if you can’t narrow it down by yourself, and get ready to get your Creme on.

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The ChickieNob’s teacher asked to speak with me after school.  She told the children that since they were going on a field trip, they needed to bring their lunch in a brown paper bag.  The ChickieNob disagreed.

“Paper bags are bad for the environment,” she chirped, repeating one of the numerous lectures we make them sit through at the aquarium or zoo.  “I am going to bring my lunch box.”

“You can’t bring your lunch box,” her teacher explained.  “We aren’t bringing back the lunches from this trip.  The bag that we use to take down the lunches will turn into the garbage bag after lunch.”

“I have a perfect plan,” the ChickieNob informed us.  “I will bring my lunchbox inside a brown paper bag and then I will reuse the brown paper bag later.”

This went on for a bit and the ChickieNob was finally convinced that sometimes other factors trump being a good environmentalist, such as a teacher needing a system to smoothly cart 50 students on a field trip.  Sometimes, we just have to use something disposable and chalk it up to life getting in the way of our best laid plans (talk about environmentalist guilt).

I came on the field trip and sat across from the ChickieNob as she opened her brown paper lunch bag, which is why I got to hear the kindergartener mutter to herself: “my teacher, apparently, thinks it’s okay to use disposable bags.  When I know that it’s not.  But I’m using one and I’m going to throw it away.”

And the sighing.  For the love, the sighing.

The aquarium should be proud of how well she has internalized “Our Ocean Planet.”

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And now, the blogs…

Seriously, have you read anything funnier than Julie’s take on Facebook on A Little Pregnant?  I would say more than that, but I’m too busy reading about David Silver’s relationship with crystal meth.

On the other end of the spectrum — the way other side of the spectrum — Kir’s Corner has a moving post about losing her father.  But beyond that, it is a stunning tribute to her father and even if you never met him, you’ll walk away feeling as if you just spent time with him.

BigP and Me has a very honest, very moving post about her unique fears in having another child.  And frankly, that honesty is very very powerful.  Which is why I left the post thinking that her fears couldn’t come true because someone who is intuitive enough to have those fears would do everything in her power to not repeat the cycle.  It’s the opposite of denial.

Lastly, Dreams Recovered has a post about a pair of red shoes that make her happy.  I don’t know why — especially since they’re not my red shoes — but I kept smiling while reading it.  I love this thought: “I looked down at them today and I kinda feel bad about the shoes.  They never match the clothes I wear and I can just imagine what other people think when they see me in these crazy red shoes.  I was thinking maybe I should retire the shoes, but I stuck my feet in them again today and said, maybe not.”  Go read and tell her what inanimate object sums up who you are.

The roundup to the Roundup: Last chance to get on the rally sign.  Answer the Weekly What If.  Creme de la Creme is starting up next week.  The ChickieNob saves the environment.  And lots of great posts to read.

When Jon Stewart made the announcement about his march back in September, Josh and I decided to go down, even though we’re not really marchers.  In fact, the last march I can remember us going to was the Million Mom March back in May of 2000.  When you live in D.C., marches are a dime a dozen.

Why this march and not the other 3 billion marches that have happened in the 10 years since our last march?  Not to mention the 3 billion counter-marches that usually go on daily as well.  Can’t have a march here without a counter-march.

I’m not really sure.  It isn’t the celebrity factor since celebrities bring their causes to our city on a daily basis.  It isn’t that our politics are aligned because frankly, I don’t do political rallies even when I agree on every issue.

So it must be the message.

Because while I don’t believe strongly in a lot of things, I do believe in reasonableness, and, by fuck, we certainly need more of it.  A case in point, a few weeks ago, I wrote a series of posts that said that while I would have loved to have breastfed the twins, I wasn’t medically able because my body produces no prolactin, and while I think breastfeeding is groovy just as I think formula feeding is groovy, what I think does a great deal of damage on a quest to raise breastfeeding rates (which are already at a pretty reasonable 73.9% in terms of trying breastfeeding) is supremacy language.

And while the majority of people responded with a reasonable, “huh, I feel that way too” or a reasonable, “well, I think the breast is best campaign rocks, but you’re entitled to your opinion and I can respect it,” there were also the people who screeched, “Melissa is anti-breastfeeding!”

And the point is that if people can jump from the idea of “the wording of a campaign pisses me off” to Melissa just gave people the idea that breastfeeding is worthless and that she doesn’t support the hard work of breastfeeding … well … then we need this rally.  Because we seem to have forgotten that being pro-something doesn’t make you anti-something else.

And because people are on a hair trigger.  People don’t even read blog posts anymore.  They just skim to see if the person is in agreement with their ideology, and if they’re not, they unleash their displeasure on them.  Twitter is no longer the fun place to discover what someone is considering eating for lunch.  Now I need to wade through people writing inflammatory statements just to upset others.  And equally annoying, 30 calls to action a day for people’s personal problems with a company, organization, or other person.  Shit happens, and now, instead of dealing with it on our own, we instantaneously call forth an angry mob and call that social action.  We’re no longer responding directly to words and ideas and leaving people out of it — we’re skipping their ideas and verbally attacking human beings.

And I’m sure this post will get a few nasty comments too amid all the reasonable ones saying, “yes, I agree that we don’t all need to espouse the same philosophy in order to respect one another.”  Because I think the vast majority of us agree that the people we surround ourselves with don’t need to be replicas of ourselves.  That a nice Jewish socialist girl like me can be good friends with a nice Christian New Age Libertarian.  And I don’t love her despite those characteristics — I love her because of those characteristics.

I’m well aware that there are a lot of reasonable people out there who fit Jon Stewart’s description of the perfect people for this rally: those “who believe that the only time it’s appropriate to draw a Hitler mustache on someone is when that person is actually Hitler. Or Charlie Chaplin in certain roles.”  And I’m sorry if you’re that person yet you don’t live close to D.C. or can’t get down to the rally.

But just as you have accompanied me on a lot of quests over the years, I would like to bring you with me to this one.

So if you would like to be included on the sign I’m bringing to the Mall, which will say “we are reasonable” at the top, please leave a message of support below and I will include your name or blog title (all comments that come in after 9 pm on Friday will be there in spirit since I need time to make the sign).  I will be taking pictures and posting them here (hopefully on Saturday night).

Yes, you can be included on my sign even if you are going yourself. And if no one wants to be included, I’ll still make my sign (changing the “we” to an “I”) and behave reasonably.

Because seriously, is being reasonable that difficult?  Does allowing people their own philosophy, politics, religion, parenting choices, style of dress hurt me?

Remember when you were little and you went to a friend’s house and their mum served something you didn’t like and how the accepted response was, “no, thank you.”  You wouldn’t have dreamed of yelling at them, “well, you’re a hateful human being if you thought to serve me chicken nuggets, bitch.”  Um, can we bring back the “no, thank you?”

Please?