Author A writes fiction, so when I use the term “narrator,” I don’t really mean his various protagonists. I mean, him. The author.

I loved his books and followed him on GoodReads so I could always know when he released another. He was not only a good writer, but he came across as a good guy. A thoughtful guy. A really kind guy.

So I was somewhat shocked by something heartless that he wrote online, and I emailed him to address it, pointing out some things he may not have known or considered when he came to his point-of-view. I thought he’d write back something along the lines of “That’s a good point, but I still think X, Y, or Z” or “Crap, I hadn’t consider that. Let me post an apology.”

That’s not what happened.

He doubled down, tripled down, and then went completely off-the-rails with his argument, posting multiple times about it online, each time more offensive than the last. Nothing like how he had presented himself up until this moment. I quietly unfollowed him on GoodReads and stopped reading his articles online. His fiction just wasn’t enjoyable anymore now once I got this peek at the narrator.

Author B writes nonfiction, so he is the actual “narrator” of his memoir.

I purchased one of his books, so I decided to finish it, but he came across as a real asshole. All I could think as I read his book was how much I never wanted to meet him or have a conversation with him. I kept looking ahead to see how many more pages I would have to endure.

Yet when I got to last page, I felt really sad. I had developed almost a Narrator Stockholm Syndrome, where I had come to like my literary captor. There is a part two to his memoirs, and I think I may buy it. He’s an asshole, but he doesn’t try to hide that he’s an asshole. And he’s an equal-opportunity asshole, a dick to individuals (friends and non-friends alike) vs. being against a group of people.

I’m not sure what this means when I’m willing to spend time with a miserable narrator who is honest vs. a seemingly thoughtful narrator who (at one point) hid his disgusting point-of-view.

We don’t have a lot of presents to buy this season. I do not need to go clothing shopping thanks to the uniform. And I get antsy with clutter. BUT… I am totally down with the book sales that go on this time of year. There are usually great e-book sales today, Monday, and then on-and-off until Christmas. Then the day after Christmas.

I have a very intense spreadsheet that I download onto my phone every few days. It contains my TBR list, books I own that I need to read soon, all the e-books I own (and whether or not they’re read), books that I’ve heard are coming out in the future… There are about seven tabs in all. I spent some time this week cleaning up the spreadsheet so I am ready to go when the e-book sale options are listed.

Josh forwarded me this article this week about people who take their TBR list to the extreme. And I do, checking my holds frequently throughout the day because it’s listed for pick up on the library site over an hour before you get the email.

I may not be serious about a lot of things, but I am serious about my book spreadsheet and reading list.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Microblog Monday: A Very Good Day” (My Path to Mommyhood)
• “From the Fire” (Infertilityhonesty)
• “Out in the World” (Infertilityhonesty)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Different Shores has a post about how childlessness is often presented as a tragedy–especially to people who are living without children. She asks, “Why are elderly people without children considered so tragic and sensitive? More pertinently, why is it OK to convey this to me and my partner?” She points out numerous ways this same sentiment is conveyed and asks that we retire this false myth.

The Next 15,000 Days has a post about life after cancer. She has a profound opening: After her doctor asks her if she thought everything was going to go back to how it was before the cancer, she explains, “I replied that I actually wasn’t really thinking how would it be – I was too focused on waiting on operation that would cut off the cancer. I didn’t even think that there would be such thing as a scar that would hurt forever.” It made me think about all the times when we’re trying to get through a crisis and we deal with only what is in front of us. How can we even know what will happen afterward until it happens, including how people will act after the fact?

Lastly, The Road Less Travelled follows up last week’s post about her great-nephew with an exploration of the family pecking order. They’re in the best position to help out the new parents. Her niece-in-law describes them as like church mice, “‘hanging around quietly in the background — but they’re always there when you need them.’ Really, could we ask for a better compliment? That’s exactly how we want it to be. We don’t want to be pests, but we do want to be involved, and helpful.” It is nice to be needed and to know that you’re making a difference in someone else’s life.

The roundup to the Roundup: Let the seasonal e-book sales commence! Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 22nd and 29th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

I have zero clue why I wrote myself this note back in October: “We don’t know what is bad news or what is good news.” Meaning, something could seem bad in the moment but really turn out to be good down the road, or vice versa. You may be thinking that something is really going your way, but because we don’t know the future, that good thing turns out to actually be terrible.

The point?

One, I have no clue why I wrote this note. Does anyone know why I would have written that down last month?

Two, it seems like a good thing to keep in mind if today is hard. It may be hard in the moment, but that hard may be yielding something wonderful in the future. And I hope it does for you.

Happy Thanksgiving if you live in the US, and happy Thursday to everyone else.

[Melissa stands up, taps her fork against her glass, and clears her throat. The conversation around the table dies down. She looks at everyone at the table.]

We do this every year: Come together as a community and have a virtual meal before we scatter to our actual meals. Unless, that is, you do not celebrate Thanksgiving. But I hope that you’ll join the table for virtual food and company even if you don’t follow this tradition offline.

We’ve virtually eaten together since 2009. That’s when this tradition began. There are some people hurting at this table. For some people, this pre-meal is what gets them through their real meal later in the week. People have written that they’ve printed out this yearly post and comments and left the paper in their purse because it helped to have a tangible reminder that there were people out there who got it. Who weren’t going to ask them when they were going to hurry up and have children. Who weren’t going to cringe when someone spoke the name of a child they lost.

We are all so different. All of us. Around this table. But we have this one facet of our lives — and yes, even though it may be a big, overpowering one for you right now, it is only one facet of who you are — where we overlap: infertility or adoption or loss. And I am so thankful, so grateful, that I found all of you. Everyone needs a You-shaped space where they can be themselves. And that’s what I have here.

So every year, I ask people to bring a virtual dish to our meal. Place it in the comment section, explaining what you brought and why. And say anything else you need to say before sitting back down to enjoy the company. Update about where you are; your emotional state.

We’re an international group, hailing from countries all around the world. So while Thanksgiving is an American tradition, I hope that everyone around the world feels as if they can participate. (Especially our Canadian neighbours who celebrated Thanksgiving weeks ago.) I’d love for your dish to come from your culture or country. Don’t worry about the contents on the table clashing.

As always, I am bringing stuffing. It’s comfort food; mushy and soggy and warm.

So what did you bring and what do you want to say to the community?

And please, start eating as everyone is introducing their dish. We don’t want the food to get cold and there are so many of us at this table. Thank you so much for coming, and I’m going to carry the warmth of this meal with me for the rest of this week.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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Have you played with Merriam-Webster’s Time Traveler? It’s a feature on the site that tells you which words were first used in print during any year.

For example, in 1974, the words “direct deposit,” “guilt-trip,” “Higgs boson,” “smoking gun,” and “transgender” were all used in print for the first time.

Also “agony aunt,” which means that Downton Abbey wouldn’t have been calling their agony aunt an “agony aunt” back then. Hmmm… Though Merriam-Webster explains: “The date most often does not mark the very first time that the word was used in English. Many words were in spoken use for decades or even longer before they passed into the written language. The date is for the earliest written or printed use that the editors have been able to discover.”

What are five words from the year you were born?

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored post.