The Welcome Table: An Annual Online Thanksgiving Meal
[Melissa stands up, taps her fork against her glass, and clears her throat. The conversation around the table dies down. She looks at everyone at the table.]
We do this every year: Come together as a community and have a virtual meal before we scatter to our actual meals. Unless, that is, you do not celebrate Thanksgiving. But I hope that you’ll join the table for virtual food and company even if you don’t follow this tradition offline.
We’ve virtually eaten together since 2009. That’s when this tradition began. There are some people hurting at this table. For some people, this pre-meal is what gets them through their real meal later in the week. People have written that they’ve printed out this yearly post and comments and left the paper in their purse because it helped to have a tangible reminder that there were people out there who got it. Who weren’t going to ask them when they were going to hurry up and have children. Who weren’t going to cringe when someone spoke the name of a child they lost.
We are all so different. All of us. Around this table. But we have this one facet of our lives — and yes, even though it may be a big, overpowering one for you right now, it is only one facet of who you are — where we overlap: infertility or adoption or loss. And I am so thankful, so grateful, that I found all of you. Everyone needs a You-shaped space where they can be themselves. And that’s what I have here.
So every year, I ask people to bring a virtual dish to our meal. Place it in the comment section, explaining what you brought and why. And say anything else you need to say before sitting back down to enjoy the company. Update about where you are; your emotional state.
We’re an international group, hailing from countries all around the world. So while Thanksgiving is an American tradition, I hope that everyone around the world feels as if they can participate. (Especially our Canadian neighbours who celebrated Thanksgiving weeks ago.) I’d love for your dish to come from your culture or country. Don’t worry about the contents on the table clashing.
As always, I am bringing stuffing. It’s comfort food; mushy and soggy and warm.
So what did you bring and what do you want to say to the community?
And please, start eating as everyone is introducing their dish. We don’t want the food to get cold and there are so many of us at this table. Thank you so much for coming, and I’m going to carry the warmth of this meal with me for the rest of this week.
11 comments
Hi everyone. I’m bringing vegetarian tacos to the table. A few years ago my daughter with food allergies had an anaphylactic reaction after Thanksgiving dinner (one we prepared entirely ourselves, of food we thought was safe for her allergies). So that kind of traumatized us and we have no desire to eat traditional Thanksgiving dinner ever again! We are vegetarian, so it wasn’t that hard to change. Instead we make a delicious taco feast and play board games and take a walk and decorate for the holidays. It’s just our little family, and while it is different from the huge gathering of my family when I was younger, it works for us. Many years we used to make all the food and haul it over to my in laws house, where they hardly ate anything of our “weird” tofurky and vegetarian side dishes. It was many hours of work, exhausting and so stressful with small children. I’m so happy that we put a stop to that. It doesn’t mean that we don’t love our family. We can still get together the next day or sometime that weekend. But it was like taking a deep breath and putting ourselves first. For so many years, it was a sad and painful time, worrying about the “when are you going to have kids” questions, and the inevitable pregnancy announcements, then it became very hard wrangling our small child and trying to keep the aunties from feeding her things with nuts in them. Coming up with an alternative celebration that worked for our family has eliminated a lot of stress.
I’ve brought holubtsi (Ukrainian cabbage rolls), which we always have at Thanksgiving & Christmas dinner, along with the mashed potatos & stuffing and buns — hey, what’s one more carb? lol And a bottle of Ontario icewine from the Niagara region to have with dessert. Sweet & smooth, almost like a liqueur. Very expensive, but a real treat.
November has always been one of my least favourite months (next to February) — we already celebrated our Thanksgiving in October, it’s generally cold, grey & dreary, AND my unfulfilled due date was November 14, 1998. However, today is 10C (50F) & sunny — and the arrival of our first GREAT-nephew, a little over a week ago, has helped to brighten things considerably this year. I am especially thankful this year for his safe arrival! Happy Thanksgiving!
Hi, everyone. I’m bringing beer bread. I found a new recipe and I love it.
I’m feeling fatigued from shoveling out after a snowstorm. Maybe that’s why I want carbs so badly.
I’m feeling stressed about all there is to manage this time of year, but also I’m feeling hopeful about a few projects that I’m working on and where they might take me in 2020. Wow! 2020!
It’s wonderful to gather at Mel’s virtual table each November. Best wishes to all.
I wish we could do this in real life, but as we can’t, I really love this virtual Thanksgiving. As I wrote in my blog this week, friendships are important, and online friendships can play a real part in our emotional lives. I appreciate the support and openness I find in this community, especially as the years pass.
I think I usually bring a summer dessert – pavlova, probably. So this year I’m going to do something a little different, and bring the pumpkin gnocchi I’ve just made (and froze) with the last of the winter pumpkins. It’s warm and comforting, seems to fit the autumnal theme, and was my favourite dish in three months in Italy!
My twins and I made a couple of pumpkin pies together tonight. I love this time of year. It has always been my favorite thing to get together with family, and I especially love it now, experiencing it with my kiddos.
I usually bring apple pie. But this year I’m brining a big salad and dressing it with my grandma’s homemade dressing. It’s lemony and delicious and reminds me of my grandma, who I miss so much. Happy thanksgiving to all!
That dressing sounds delicious!
I am bringing a rice dish called moro, and a plantain dish called pastelon which is mashed sweet plantains layered with meat and cheese like a casserole it is delicious and a flan.
Emotionally I’m not ready. I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant (with my 6th pregnancy and what we HOPE and PRAY will be our first live birth and living child) and we havent announced to anyone! Im having alot of food aversions so hopefully no one will notice. I’m trying to be excited about being pregnant cause I am thrilled about it however I’m so anxious and worried alot of the time. I am excited to have a baby but I am NOT ready to share our wonderful news with anyone and hubby really is. I dont want to tell anyone for as long as possible I wish we could wait til after 20 weeks when we lost our son last year.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Please help yourselves to some cauliflower cheese – because for me melted cheese is the ultimate treat when it’s cold outside.
Although we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in England, my family is deeply thankful tonight. Our own infertility journey ended some years ago and our children are no longer little. Those experiences left us with a deep desire to help someone who hadn’t yet brought their own baby home. After two years in the process, we got a phone call tonight confirming we have cleared the last hurdle to start a surrogacy treatment cycle in December.
I am truly hopeful that by this time next year, we will have helped another family meet their own beloved child at last.
I’m late to the table but I bring dessert, Bryce’s coconut custard pie with fresh whipped cream and toasted coconut sprinkled on top, and of course gluten free crust.
Thanksgiving is tough not because I have a large family gathering with little kids, but because my family is… challenging and there are many personalities to navigate around. I also fear getting glutened with all the communal spoons and dishes. My mom did make me gf stuffing, though!
I’m in a place of peace. I am selling into my new life in a new home where it’s me, my husband, and the cat, and I’m okay with that now. I still have moments of intense grief but they are spaced farther apart and I recover more quickly. I offer you hope that it really does get better.
Happy Thanksgiving, my friends!
I’m terribly late and just not into it this year, which feels like it sums up my life currently. I did nothing for Turkey day, except for wish my family a happy day, via text. I feel somewhat bad that I’ve not really shown my kids what American holidays/celebrations are about, but…I just feel I struggle so much being a mom and juggling work/life. (It’s not how I imagined life as a mom at all.)