“It may seem counter-intuitive, but the way to make someone feel better is to let them be in pain.” —Megan Devine and Refuge in Grief (:34 in the video below)

This is three-and-a-half minutes of brilliance, and I’m setting it here in case you want to help someone who is hurting. As her hashtag states, #itsokthatyourenotok

I cried watching the inauguration. My cousin described it as the release of a four-year body clench, and I think that’s exactly how this has felt. Four years of harm after harm after harm—real harm, children in cages harm, people losing basic human rights harm. So I cried with relief that we got to this moment. That we’re in the movement forward vs. waiting for it.

The twins piled onto the bed with us to watch, and they indulged me by recreating a photo I took during Obama’s inauguration. I put the two images side by side—the very serious preschoolers vs the trying-not-to-laugh high schoolers. We ate chocolate that my sister sent. We clapped. We texted with friends.

It was a good day.

Though I had nightmares every night during the first half of the week. I’m exhausted.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “A Compliment That Made Me Cry (or, I Have No Dignity But A Lot Of Fun)” (My Path to Mommyhood)
• “Finding Beauty in the Weeds” (No Kidding in NZ)

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Road Less Travelled points out an awful sentiment about people without children, where the worth of a person’s life is determined by whether or not they’re parenting. She writes, “Sometimes I feel like a sitting duck as a childless woman.” It’s scary.

An Engineer Becomes a Mom about an epiphany at work: “I’m introducing transformation to people who don’t want it.” Knowing that, she pauses to adjust and recalibrate, especially in the face of external stress. Change is hard and it comes slowly. Sometimes the best thing is to focus on that first step vs. knowing where that first step will lead.

Lastly, My Path to Mommyhood hit 800 posts and talks about renaming her blog. “I think this is the year I update my blog, or change it up to a new one. I hate change, but ‘My Path to Mommyhood’ is just not authentic to my experience anymore. I have been officially off that path for over three years, and it’s time to name it something different, or start something new.” It’s hard AND exciting to change a blog name. I’m looking forward to seeing what it becomes.

The roundup to the Roundup: The future is finally here. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between Jan 15 – 22) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Happy Inauguration Day! I was hoping for this day four years ago; meaning, I was hoping 2020’s election would turn things back to helping rather than hurting. But I didn’t trust that we would be here. But now this moment is here, and even with all of the fear, all of the sadness over COVID-19, all of the losses we’ve experienced, I’m taking a few minutes today to clap as Biden and Harris are sworn in, making history.

Because this event is a small island of happiness in a sea of turmoil.

Because it’s a reminder that things change.

I read an article about scaling back goals in 2021, and I’ve decided to have a single goal: pickle more vegetables. I can make it fancier: “Pickle more vegetables after developing my own pickling spice.” Or easier: “Phone in the act of pickling more vegetables.”

I got invited to a Zoom pickle party. It wasn’t actually called that—it was something more like “learn how to make pickles on Zoom.” But I started referring to the event as my Zoom pickle party, clarifying that this wasn’t a euphemism for whatever you’re thinking right now. It was straightforward. Me, cucumbers, a bunch of other people, Zoom = pickles.

Do you know how hard it is to find pickling spice in the middle of winter? Trust me. It’s difficult. Josh had to do curbside pickup from Penzeys. (Thank you, Penzeys.) I almost went to the Zoom class sans materials. That felt like the perfect embodiment of scaling back goals—I was going to show up to a class unable to participate in the class.

But in the end, I powered through and got the ingredients. And I heard lovely stories about pickle making, and learned a new technique. In a few days, we’re going to have homemade kosher dill pickles. And from now on, pickled vegetables all the freakin’ time.

This is who I’ve become after ten months at home.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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I’ve been trying to take one day each weekend—or even a half a day—to not do anything. No obligations to other people. No tasks completed. I drink coffee and I read a book. Maybe I reprimand Beorn because his new favourite thing is to move all the bedding and bring me pieces of the newspaper I use to line the bottom of his cage. Thanks, pal.

There was an article a little over a week ago outlining the seven types of rest. Because not all rest is the same, and if you only get rest in one or two areas, you won’t actually feel rested because the remaining depleted areas still demand attention. It really does make a difference to try to hit five or more areas in one four-hour period. Sleep in, don’t work, unplug, enjoy a book, no people-pleasing, and only socializing with my guinea pig.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored post.