Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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I am notorious for saying yes to things far in the future that I feel really stressed out about when the day arrives.

Austin Kleon reminded me of something I first heard about a long time ago; probably from the same David Plotz article. When someone asks you to do something, ask yourself if you would do it tomorrow. Would you not do whatever you have on tap tomorrow to do this thing instead? Or, if it were happening tomorrow, would you be happy that you’re about to do it? If not, the answer is probably no.

Or it’s no if you want future you to be less stressed.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored post.

The word “infertility” caught my eye as I was scrolling through Apple News. “How Kate Middleton Paid Hidden Tribute to Women With Infertility.” Do tell.

It turns out there was a pineapple design on her clothing when she “announced her patronage of the Maternal Mental Health Alliance, which aims to help new and expectant mothers.” And Newsweek reports that the pineapple is the symbol of infertility.

So.

This brings up many things. First and foremost, that infertility is lumped in with fertility. I get served ads for diapers because businesses believe that people focused on infertility must also be focused on all things baby. Because the only trajectory through infertility ends with a baby? So I’m not sure why Kate would be wearing infertility symbolism to announce how she is helping women who have had children and are experiencing post-partum depression.

I think maybe she just likes the pineapple design.

Though it made me think about Anti-Pineapple Kim from IVFC (where did she go?), and how, once upon a time, people would post how they were eating pineapple, drinking Robitussin, or consuming wheatgrass during IVF or IUI cycles. And I haven’t heard that in years. Until this Newsweek article.

I marked a bunch of posts earlier in the week, but I stopped reading after the shooting. It is hard to focus. Hard to not feel heartsick every time you go online. Hard to read the news. Hard to not read the news.

There are really no words.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Blogjubiläum Nr. 6” (Elaine ohne Kind)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Infertile Phoenix points out how a phrase can be turned around to mean something entirely new. She plays with the words “left behind” turning them from something done to her into a space where she is taking action. And feeling empowered in the process.

Hopelessly Infertile and Surrounded by Fertiles unpacks how even the most open-minded, wanting-to-understand man may not have a deep understanding of women’s bodies. And how there are a lot of men making laws pertaining to women’s bodies who aren’t trying to understand. She writes: “This is why women’s voices and the diversity of experiences within those voices are so damned important.” Yes.

Lastly, The Uterus Monologues writes about why we should talk about a pregnancy before the end of the first trimester. She points out the problem with waiting to tell anyone until 12 weeks: “You didn’t tell people out of some vague notion that this very thing might happen, and now it has you realise you’ve unwittingly cut yourself off from any sympathy or understanding. It keeps you quiet and confounded. It feels a lot like shame.” No, loss shouldn’t have to happen in silence.

The roundup to the Roundup: Heartsick. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 20 – May 27) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Actually, let’s just skip the one about the parents suing the son and daughter-in-law for not giving them a grandchild.

So. Article Two: Slate had a great interview about how IVF is tied up in Roe v. Wade. Not just IVF — treatments for ectopic pregnancies, IUI, genetic testing. We’ve been beating this drum for years. It begins with what our community has always known:

If Roe v. Wade gets overturned, it won’t just affect women who need an abortion. For people seeking fertility treatment and their doctors, the big concern is the foundation of the fight against abortion: fetal personhood. If a fetus is a person, it raises all kinds of questions.

Republicans chipped away at abortion via personhood bills. It is terrifying to think about where this will go — into far-reaching corners we can imagine and not quite imagine yet.

Article Three: I wanted your thoughts because I thought Carolyn Hax’s answer was interesting. A writer asked: “Could we please stop “making conversation” by asking whether people have children and how many? People struggle with infertility, decide to remain child-free, have lost a child somehow, don’t want to discuss reproductive decisions, etc.”

Carolyn responded with sympathy but pointed out that few topics are truly safe for discussion because you never know someone else’s situation. She writes: “Almost any well-meaning inquiry can hit an emotional mine.”

The answer is to go into conversations knowing someone may touch a sensitive spot and have an answer/deflection at the ready. And to people making conversation, pick up on cues, pivot, don’t pry.

What do you think?

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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35 years ago… I think it was 35 years ago. I’m getting fuzzy with the year. While I could look this up pretty easily, I don’t feel like moving boxes around. Anyway, 35 years-ish ago, young Melissa stood on the bimah and had her Bat Mitzvah.

The first Bat Mitzvah was in 1922, though it didn’t become commonplace until the 1960s. 1960s! Isn’t that bizarre to think about now? My generation was the first generation where it was commonplace to have a Bat Mitzvah. The only women I know in my parents’ generation who had a Bat Mitzvah did so as an adult. And one generation later, I could turn around and tutor my kids for their B’nai Mitzvah.

Change comes slowly and quickly.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored post.