I’ve said it before: I am terrible at saying no. The whole thing makes me feel guilty because I can usually say yes, just at the expense of my own happiness. So I guess I have no difficulty when I have a clear-cut reason attached to the “no,” such as being out of town. But if I technically could say yes, but I’m not saying yes because we all have limited time, emotional energy, or money, I feel guilty, which makes me botch the no.

So I always pause and read any article about how to say no. And this is a good one.

Beyond the how-to, I liked the idea that there is a difference between selfishness, which feels purposeful, and putting yourself first, which feels healthy when done if necessary.

Putting this here in case it helps anyone else.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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Just when I think that social media has ceased to be social, people peek out to say happy birthday, or discuss an article, or reminisce about college. A friend posted a story that sent all of us down a rabbit hole of connected stories and people who have drifted away (whatever happened to them?). Suddenly, it felt like we were all hanging out in someone’s living room, tossing out facts so someone could pull them together into a cohesive memory.

I love that you can’t write it off. That social media keeps popping back up and reminding you that it can be anything we want it to be. We just have to make it happen.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts connected to businesses or sponsored posts.

I feel like a broken record about the kids leaving because I am a broken record about the kids leaving. I wake up and think, “They won’t be here in a few months.” And my heart squeezes like a fist, sometimes taking my stomach with it.

I go through the day having that thought over and over again. I think about what we need to buy, the forms we need to fill out, and the tasks we need to do. I flip through my datebook, looking at the thin number of pages between now and going. I go to bed at night and lie awake, thinking about what the moment will feel like when I have to leave and drive home.

I know I’m boring. I’ve become one single note, played over and over again. I want to say that one day I’ll become a symphony again, but I don’t know if that is true. I only know that right now, I am a broken record, replaying the same thoughts as day spins into night and back into day.

The Wolvog updated us all day Wednesday and Thursday on the air quality index. It wasn’t as bad down here as it was in New York, but it still looked odd outside. It’s bizarre to think that the fires were a 10 – 12 hour drive away from D.C. That the smoke drifted all the way down the coast. And truly terrifying.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second, helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “An Unexpected Conversation” (Infertile Phoenix)
• “Life Makes My Life Meaningful” (No Kidding in NZ)
• “The Early Days of the IF Blogosphere” (Stirrup Queens) — thanks, Jess!

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Road Less Travelled has a post about the wildfires. She writes, “It was supposed to be a sunny day — but when I look outside, all I see is a hazy grey sky.” It is scary to watch destructive events intensifying — the frequency and scope picking up year after year. What will the earth look like — feel like — twenty years from now?

Lastly, No Kidding NZ is back from a month-long trip to southern Africa, and she writes about traveling without kids. I love the story about the other couple they met on the road. “I said to my husband after a couple of days that I was sure they didn’t have children either. It hadn’t been mentioned, almost pointedly, by either of us. In fact, it actually took me a day or two to realise that neither of us had brought it up.” I love the exchange they had and look forward to more stories about the trip.

The roundup to the Roundup: Wildfires. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between June 2 – 9) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week. Read the original open thread post here.

Embedded had an interesting piece about Hank Green’s cancer diagnosis and how we form one-way online and sometimes offline attachments. A Reddit commenter captured the feeling:

My close friends… I’d be on a plane and baking cookies and lasagnas. How do I give support to someone who is so good and means so much to me/us/this community when they literally don’t know I exist?

The Embedded essay states that “the practice of ‘following’ someone simply hasn’t been around long enough for us to grapple with the unpleasant parts of life that are expected, like the realities of getting older.”

Except that it has. The internet has certainly opened the door to a person sharing ongoing thoughts, and that is different from a celebrity sharing parts of their life in an interview. But we have grappled with feeling emotionally close and understanding we’re emotionally far (or unknown) before the internet.

We clearly do need to create rituals around supporting from afar or grieving from afar.