Category — Friday Blog Roundup

I managed to spill an entire glass of water into my desk.  16 ounces of water, flooding the inner cabinet of my secretary desk.  Beyond the computer (which was miraculously fine), I store a shit ton of papers in my desk.  Post-it notes with “brilliant” ideas (cough), books, and notebooks.  Random LEGO characters.  Mala beads.  All of it swimming in 16 ounces of water.

I ran for paper towels while Linus “helped” by standing on his hind legs and watching as the water cascaded onto the floor, soaking the carpet.  It was a great moment; the highlight of my week as I peeled dripping post-it notes apart, trying to read the smudged writing.

I did manage to save maybe 500 post-it notes as well as some important papers that I decided to recopy so I had a clean, non-water-logged version.  That’s how I spent my week: recopying old notes.  Trying to decipher them.

Along the way, I found funny things the twins said as babies, a bunch of short story ideas that will probably never get written, and reminders to call people whom I haven’t spoken to in years.  There were notes that I made while negotiating a contract, and it made me so sad to see how much I undervalued my work once upon a time.

It was emotional archaeology, digging through a pile of fiber samples of things that at one point meant something to me.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “On Letting Go of the Colour” (An Engineer Becomes a Mom)
• “Plinko” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, Jess!
• “Attention Management” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you for this, too!
• “I Don’t Have Unlimited Resources” (Infertile Phoenix)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Jewish IVF ponders whether to transfer more than one embryo.  Her research brings up a glaring hole in the arguments: “The thing is that the article educating against multiples is talking about first transfer success rates. Not sixth transfer. They’re not taking into consideration someone who has tried single transfers multiple times without results.”  It’s a tough decision coloured by more than their past results.

Andmom has entered the world of tweendom.  Due to the way their school system is structured, the 10-year-olds are around 13-year-olds; a big age spread.  She writes, “I’m just not ready, and I don’t think they are either, but apparently we’re all going to run out of the option of innocence soon.”  Me too.

Empty Arms, Broken Hearts points out that parenting doesn’t erase the feelings from infertility.  She explains, “I thought infertility would go away once I became a mother. Not that I would become fertile, but that the unfairness, the raw emotions of not being able to conceive and bear life, it would somehow lessen when children started calling me Mommy.”  But I love this post for the brilliant final line.

Lastly, Inexplicably Missing has a post about her clinic.  I do not want to ruin the effect by trying to describe the situation, but this line perfectly sums up the way my jaw dropped with the post: “I don’t know… it’s just… I feel a bit like… can someone just take this seriously please?”

The roundup to the Roundup: Wish I had used a smaller cup.  (Or, 16 ounces of water is a lot of water.)  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 26th and February 2nd) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I was really proud of myself this week, and since no one in my family is being effusive enough in their praise, I’m turning this over to the Internet.

I had a very clever idea, if I do say so myself, for a book display in the local library.  I asked Josh to tell the librarian my brilliant idea, but he suggested that I go there myself and TALK TO THE LIBRARIAN.  That needs to be in all caps because it is so completely scary that it’s as if he asked me to have a threesome with the clown from It.

I am not good at having conversations with strangers.

But I put on my big girl panties and marched (well, drove) myself to the library, bringing the twins with me for moral support.  I found the librarian and started telling her my plan (which sounded so much better before I had to describe it to someone), and at first she was nodding, confused, but by the end, she was nodding AND smiling AND agreed that my idea was clever.  (If you want to know, it involves tying Korean cookbooks to a play about Korean cooking… it’s a long story.  Trust me, it was clever.)  She is considering it, and promised that she would let us know if she decided to do it.

And then, yes, I am going to take a picture of the book display because I consider it more a paper monument to my bravery.

I spoke to a stranger, and I lived to tell the tale.  My nervous system was only buzzing for… oh… three hours afterward.  A win!

P.S. This is the part where you say, “Wow, Melissa, that was really brave.  That sounds just as scary as that video of the snake swimming around with the decapitated fish head.”

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “#MicroblogMondays: Heinz 57” (The Road Less Travelled)
• “How Time Moves Differently When You Don’t Have Children” (Life Without Baby)
• “Violet” (Travelcraft Journal)
• “Hiding Out” (Searching for Our Silver Lining)
• “Grieving My Dog & Questioning Fertility Clinics” (Infertile Phoenix)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Countingpinklines has a post about a lesson learned from infertility.  She begins musing on the acceptance you get from other people in the community who just get it (vs. stuff she was reading on STFU, Parents) and she writes, “I’d like to think that this is one positive thing that I’ve gotten from the last several years – there is not really one sole path to happiness or fulfillment. That and life throws a lot of stuff at you and sometimes all you can do is just grit your teeth and survive.”  Love it.

Unpregnant Chicken is celebrating her book launch; a children’s book explaining assisted conception.  That sounded very clinical, so I’ll let her speak instead: “Lucas wonders what it takes to make a baby. Mommy tells him that babies are made with a sperm and an egg but that some babies, like him, take extra. But what does it mean to be ‘extra’? This question launches Lucas into a day full of discovery.”  It sounds (and looks) very cute AND helpful.

The OCD Infertile had a bleeding scare, that luckily turns out to be okay, but I love the way she describes her state of pregnancy after infertility: “I longed to be a part of this ‘pregnant’ club but now that I am here I still don’t feel like I fit in because of the baggage I carry in with me. Like the Campetts moving to Beverly Hills. Here I come, with my rusted truck and rocking chair on the roof and lots of non-designer labeled baggage filled with all of my pain, fear, and past heartbreak.”  This is it — she captures it perfectly.

Lastly, No Kidding in NZ writes about the New Zealand Prime Minister, who didn’t have children but has since announced her pregnancy.  I love this post for her response at the end.  Her SIL is complaining that the PM kept her pregnancy a secret during the election, and Mali responds: “Well, isn’t it good that you’re not a New Zealander!”  It may need to be tweaked when I encounter whining in the future from those outside a community, but I’m totally borrowing a version of that.

The roundup to the Roundup: Super brave, right?  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 19th and 26th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I don’t do yoga on snow days.  I sleep in instead as a treat and get up when I would normally be finishing yoga.  Then I attempt to go through the rest of my day.  This is how that looks:

Morning: I’m going to make bread and soup for dinner.  I’m going to write three documents and complete dozens of small tasks.  I’m even going to get downtime in the afternoon!  I’m going to finish it off by finally scheduling some appointments.

Noon: My brain feels like mud.  I am not getting enough done.  I’m going to make the bread, but I’ll buy the soup.  I’ll be fine if I get one document done and complete the tasks.  And I can at least schedule the appointments.

Afternoon: I didn’t make the dough for the bread.  Fine.  I’ll buy the bread.  I’ll buy the soup.  At least I got two documents done and the tasks complete.  I haven’t made a single appointment, and I’m definitely not getting downtime right now.

Dinner: (Eating store-bought bread and soup) What happened?

Evening: I’m going to do better tomorrow.  I’m going to bed early, and I’m going to wake up and do yoga.  And then I’m going to power through things without taking a breath.

Night: We are totally on track to have lights out by 11 pm at the latest.

Midnight: Why are we still awake?

Rinse, wash, repeat because the snow keeps coming.  It’s like my brain becomes sludge any time my schedule is thrown off course.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “The Transformational Act of Really Seeing People” (John Pavlovitz)
• “Non-Moms” (Silent Sorority)
• “#Microblog Mondays: Somehow Not Sad” (My Path to Mommyhood)
• “Lucky People” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, Cristy!
• “Be Careful What You Wish For” (NotMyLinesYet)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Anabegins has a post that resonated with me, especially when you look above and see my own experience with spring winding.  (Or, I guess the times that my spring becomes kinked?). There is a part that stands out: “I also remind myself of all the things I shouldn’t be doing: no wine, no snacks, no phone in the evenings… It takes many turns of the spring to make sure I’ll keep moving all day.”  So there’s the to-do list, but there’s also the don’t list.  And what happens when they’re both equal in length and everything is looming over you?  Gives me food for thought.

NotMyLinesYet has a post about those cycles where bench warming has a silver lining.  I like this post because it’s aspirational.  Maybe sometimes an imposed break can be a good thing, and it takes an open mind to see that.

Lastly, Kmina’s mother died, and she writes about it in a brief post.  She is having a very hard time as she is still processing her father’s death.  Please circle the wagons and give her support.

The roundup to the Roundup: My brain becomes sludge the moment my schedule is thrown off-course.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 12th and 19th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Oprah Winfrey rocks as a television personality and actress.  I get chills down both arms every time I see the trailer for A Wrinkle in Time, and she knocked that speech at the Golden Globes out of the park.  When I first saw the rumblings of a 2020 presidential run, I wrote it off as people just super excited about that speech.  But… instead of the rumbling dying off, it seems to have gotten louder later in the week.  Which makes me want to run across Washington with both hands outstretched while screaming, “STOOOOOOOOOOOOOP.”

Electing a television personality to the role of president hasn’t worked for Republicans, so I’m not sure why we think we’d get a different result with a Democrat.  Running a network is not the same thing as running a country.  Do I support celebrities getting politically involved on the local and state level?  Sure.  But president shouldn’t be the first public office anyone in any party holds.

I hope Oprah lends her eloquence to someone else’s presidency bid, campaigning hard for them with speeches and fundraisers.  I hope she serves in an advisory role for another person, helping them to be comfortable speaking their mind.  I hope our next president inspires us in the way Oprah inspired us last Sunday night.  But I really really really hope that our next nominee isn’t Oprah; at least, not until she has had experience in government at the local or state level.  I hope it isn’t Tom Hanks or the Rock or any other human being who has never held public office.

Please, for the love, we don’t have to elect unqualified people to get fresh ideas in government.  There are so many other roles that smart people can play.  Let’s make sure we use everyone’s strengths and put people in positions of power who understand the scope of that power.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Yuletide” (Different Shores)
• “You’re Not Allowed to Be Busy” (My Path to Mommyhood)

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Road Less Travelled has a post about her cousin sharing a picture of an old friend from high school, which breaks through the neat compartments of her life, mixing up people from unrelated areas.  She writes, “Each compartment comes with its own cast of characters and presumably its own perceptions of me, and seldom the twain has met. Or did. The advent of the Internet, and social media in particular, has brought together the various strands of my life in sometimes weird and sometimes wonderful ways.”  The Internet makes life messy, which is sometimes good, sometimes bad, usually interesting, especially when you poke around and see — at least on the surface — how someone’s life has turned out.

Different Shores has a post about IKEA’s new pregnancy test.  Yes, the page in the catalogue is a real, functioning pregnancy test.  Does it step over a line? (Yes.) Provide people with something helpful? (I’ll admit that once upon a time I would have hoarded those catalogues and urinated on them every chance I got.) Jump into her comment section and discuss.

Lavender Luz has started a book club on Facebook, and the first book is Perfect Little World by Kevin Wilson.  And you can join along, too.  Click over to read how to be part of the discussion.

Lastly, Bent Not Broken has a moving post about her sister’s child and her mother’s response.  She writes, “If there is time to take a gazillion pictures and gloat about a new grandbaby on social media, there is time to send a text to the one you know is hurting.”  It is good advice — something we all need to hear from time to time — to reach out to those that we know need our kind words.

The roundup to the Roundup: Please, Oprah.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 5th and 12th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Linus turned one this week.  I like to remind him that he will always be my little baby, especially because he is much smaller than Truman and will never be allowed to run around unsupervised because he can squeeze himself into tiny, hard-to-reach spaces.  Plus he still acts like a baby.  If you tell him, “jump, jump!” he will jump in the air and then land and run in a circle because he is so happy with himself.

I love my boy so much: he is my furry bestie, my squeaky co-worker, my chatty companion.  He likes car rides and cookies.

Happy birthday, big boy!

(I had to push the button so he could take a selfie because his paws are a little short.)

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “#Microblog Mondays: The Upside” (My Path to Mommyhood)
• “Complete” (It Only Takes One)
• “Nope” (NotMyLinesYet)
• “The Dreams That Didn’t Come True” (Stirrup Queens) — thanks, Cristy!
• “Day 24 — The End” (The Barrenness)
• “Von ‘ohne Kind’ zu ‘OK’” (Elaine ohne Kind)
• “The Christmas Tree Story” (My Path to Mommyhood)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Searching for Our Silver Lining has a post about a strained relationship due to infertility.  This post actually stayed with me due to a phrase: “I am an infertile who is parenting.”  Infertile first, parent second.  Both true, but the order they go in makes a difference.  And it also makes a difference when the people around you acknowledge YOUR order, even if they would order those descriptions differently.

Today’s the Day writes about doing a DNA testing kit with her son.  She explains: “This past summer Liam expressed interest in finding out more about his ancestral background, so we ordered 2 DNA testing kits – one for him and one for myself. As the adoptees of the family, we felt this would be fun to do together.”  It is an amazing story of how a DNA test opened the door to finding family.  You will want to read this post.

Lastly, NotMyLinesYet has a post about the financial side of infertility.  She has worked out how much she has paid towards family building so far and then points out the true cost: “It’s bought me near constant physically pain and months missed from work. It bought amazing, touching connections with friends and family members who have reached out. To echo what appears to be a recurrent theme: it bought us hope and the loss of hope.”  Go read this whole moving post.

The roundup to the Roundup: It’s Linus’s first birthday.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 22nd and January 5th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.