Category — Friday Blog Roundup

It’s Friday the 13th. If you look back at all the old Roundups, you will see that I have a compulsive need to point out that it is Friday the 13th every time the Roundup falls on the 13th. Telling you this serves zero purpose.

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I wanted to see Frozen 2, and ChickieNob agreed to go with me last weekend. I pointed out to her that when I was growing up, the only thing Disney offered me were princesses who didn’t resemble me who spent their time singing about princes. They were mostly running away from vs. running to–or, really, sleeping or waiting–and they were the animated personification of vanilla pudding.

She gets complex heroes who are finding their own way in the world and discovering on their adventures that they are “enough.” Complete. Their damage is where the light gets in, and their differences are cherished and celebrated because those traits save the day.

Plus they get better music now.

And I like Olaf.

I would have gone to see it alone, but I’m glad she came with me so I have someone to sing “Into the Unknown” with while I drive.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

Hopelessly Infertile and Surrounded by Fertiles has a post about being invited to a baby shower-ish event. What non-Jewish people don’t realize is that our baby events come after the baby is here. So the baby is at the event. I mean, they often get tucked away in a quiet space so perhaps it’s not as in-your-face as a big pregnant belly. But I always found Jewish baby events hard because the baby is present. She writes, “I’ve now received several invites to this event, like the new mom is somehow worried I’ll miss it if she doesn’t use every available avenue to deliver this invitation from text message to post. Or maybe she just wants to beat me over the head with it. THUMP. I’m a mom! THUMP! I’m a mom! THUMP! Did I mention I’m a NEW MOM!” Laughing and cringing at the same time.

No Kidding in NZ has four rules for getting through Christmas. It is literally a holiday about a baby. It may be really hard for you this year. But, as she points out in the first rule, it’s just one day. It’s all great advice: go dive in.

An Unexpected Family Outing also has advice for Christmas for grieving parents. I love the idea of an ornament swap with another grieving family. Or to hang a stocking. She has 19 ideas for how to remember your child during the holidays.

Lastly, Inconceivable! has a post about what she did after wrapping up her family building efforts. She writes, “When Arthur called an end to our efforts on trying to conceive, I found myself in the midst of a bit of an identity crisis.  I’m not sure why this surprised me – I’ve spent the better part of a decade trying to get pregnant and then stay pregnant in ways that were invasive, emotional, time-consuming, and expensive.” She makes space and fills herself with music. It’s a lovely little post.

The roundup to the Roundup: It’s Friday the 13th. I loved Frozen 2. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 6th and 13th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Many years ago, a friend was telling me about her country club because she thought that I should join, too, and a mutual friend told her, “Mel is not a joiner.” And Mel isn’t really a joiner EXCEPT when it’s joining the library. Yes, I just became a member of the fundraising group for the library system, and I am so excited.

I joined so I could begin volunteering with them. I also joined because they give you a membership card, a special newsletter, and emails for members only. I told the kids that I’m going to march around town with my card held out, casually saying in a very loud voice, “I wonder if there are any other library members around me right now.”

Just to be clear, this is different from my library card. I now have two cards: a library card for checking out books and a library member card for expressing my enormous love of libraries.

ChickieNob told me that she is concerned that I’m getting a little too into old lady activities. Birdwatching, fundraising for the library, attending meetings for Bifocal Needers of America. (That last club may be fake. Or it may not.) Face it, kid, I’m an old lady with old lady tastes.

AND I’M A LIBRARY MEMBER! (Which means that I’m awesome and part of an exclusive club of fundraising book nerds that anyone can join if you pay them money.)

I wonder if we’re going to talk about how we track our TBR lists at my first meeting.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Waiting for Miscarriage” (byDeze)

Okay, now my choices this week.

My Path to Mommyhood has a post about speaking up for yourself. When she is about to get placed in a post-natal Pilates class, she explains: “I had two choices, 1) don’t say anything and keep the time at 5 and suffer through because I didn’t want to be ‘weird,’ or 2) explain a bit and be firm that while they may be a fun group, it’s not the class for me.” You’ll have to read to learn what she chose to do.

By the Brooke talks about how grief feels in her body. She writes, “I was trying to explain it to David last night… how I feel tired. Just knowing someone else is remembering Eliza is a gift because it starts to feel like something I carry alone.” What a simple, clear thing we can do for another person; just help them carry the memory by remembering alongside them.

Lastly, Empty Arms, Broken Heart has a post that I connected with this week about kids growing up. It’s an ache I know well, but I love this post for the wisdom in it: “It does hurt my heart sometimes when the little ones express missing him. They feel the disconnect as well. But, one day they will be the ones prepping for that leap from home, so it’s best I show them this is all ok, just another stage in life.” So true.

The roundup to the Roundup: I’m a library member. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 29th and December 6th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

We don’t have a lot of presents to buy this season. I do not need to go clothing shopping thanks to the uniform. And I get antsy with clutter. BUT… I am totally down with the book sales that go on this time of year. There are usually great e-book sales today, Monday, and then on-and-off until Christmas. Then the day after Christmas.

I have a very intense spreadsheet that I download onto my phone every few days. It contains my TBR list, books I own that I need to read soon, all the e-books I own (and whether or not they’re read), books that I’ve heard are coming out in the future… There are about seven tabs in all. I spent some time this week cleaning up the spreadsheet so I am ready to go when the e-book sale options are listed.

Josh forwarded me this article this week about people who take their TBR list to the extreme. And I do, checking my holds frequently throughout the day because it’s listed for pick up on the library site over an hour before you get the email.

I may not be serious about a lot of things, but I am serious about my book spreadsheet and reading list.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Microblog Monday: A Very Good Day” (My Path to Mommyhood)
• “From the Fire” (Infertilityhonesty)
• “Out in the World” (Infertilityhonesty)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Different Shores has a post about how childlessness is often presented as a tragedy–especially to people who are living without children. She asks, “Why are elderly people without children considered so tragic and sensitive? More pertinently, why is it OK to convey this to me and my partner?” She points out numerous ways this same sentiment is conveyed and asks that we retire this false myth.

The Next 15,000 Days has a post about life after cancer. She has a profound opening: After her doctor asks her if she thought everything was going to go back to how it was before the cancer, she explains, “I replied that I actually wasn’t really thinking how would it be – I was too focused on waiting on operation that would cut off the cancer. I didn’t even think that there would be such thing as a scar that would hurt forever.” It made me think about all the times when we’re trying to get through a crisis and we deal with only what is in front of us. How can we even know what will happen afterward until it happens, including how people will act after the fact?

Lastly, The Road Less Travelled follows up last week’s post about her great-nephew with an exploration of the family pecking order. They’re in the best position to help out the new parents. Her niece-in-law describes them as like church mice, “‘hanging around quietly in the background — but they’re always there when you need them.’ Really, could we ask for a better compliment? That’s exactly how we want it to be. We don’t want to be pests, but we do want to be involved, and helpful.” It is nice to be needed and to know that you’re making a difference in someone else’s life.

The roundup to the Roundup: Let the seasonal e-book sales commence! Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 22nd and 29th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Tonight’s dinner could be 10 kinds of amazing, or it could be 10 kinds of terrible. But we’re not going to know until it’s on the table and everyone is strapped in, fork in hand. Well, not strapped in because we don’t have seat belts at our kitchen table. But you know the saying.

I’m making a Guinness-glazed salmon. (1) I have never had salmon. (2) I will never have salmon. (3) I am not trying this dish, but I AM serving it to others. (4) That seems like a bad idea. (5) I am going to do it anyway. (6) I made up the recipe.

Like I’ve had a Guinness sauce before, and I’ve never had salmon before, and I asked Josh what would happen if I put these two things together. And he said, “Go for it.” So it’s also kind of his fault.

I’m serving it with mashed potatoes and buttered peas and soda bread, all of which I will eat. But not the salmon. Wish everyone at the dinner table (except me) good luck. There are either going to be happy smiles or tentative cringes. Which will it be? Stay tuned…

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

No Kidding in NZ made a new version of her “Who Am I?” list. I probably featured it seven years ago, too, because it’s such a good idea. We are so much more than the few characteristics we grab to describe ourselves. And I’m amazed that she came up with 100 — we should all strive to know ourselves as completely as possible. I’m seeing a few people jumping on-board with their own lists this week, and I hope more do so between now and New Years.

The Road Less Travelled introduced us to her grand-nephew. We already know that she’s an amazing aunt, and she has jumped into grand-aunting (it’s a verb) with a splash. It’s a sweet post (with a picture!), so go over and wish her congratulations.

Lastly, Inconceivable! has a post about finding herself done with family building before her heart was ready. She was willing to try without intervention, but her husband was not. Because you can’t really compromise on that, they’ve come to the agreement that this stage of their lives is over. But this — THIS — spoke so deeply to me: “It’s the d*mn shadow that I’ve battled throughout the whole process – the one that urges scorched earth tactics, that says that until everything is completely destroyed, it’s not enough. It’s a liar.” Read this post for the important lesson taught by Bill Bryson toward the end. As well as her words: “We were enough all along, both seven years ago and now, no matter how this thing ended.”

The roundup to the Roundup: Will dinner sink or swim? (Well, let’s hope that it doesn’t actually swim because then the salmon would still be alive.) Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 15th and 22nd) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

The twins took out a cricket for me this week. I didn’t even have to ask them. They saw it upstairs, alerted me of its presence, and then sucked up the cricket with the vacuum. They learned the SAT word “tenacious” from the experience when I thanked them for their tenacity in hunting down the cricket when it tried to hop behind the dresser. And this thing was huge. It was the size of about half a doorknob. Which means that it felt like it was the size of a truck.

I know some parents brag about their children’s grades or awards. But do those things really hold a candle to cricket hunting? Not in my world.

They immediately followed up the experience by confirming that I would be making them their own batch of cookies as a thank you gift.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “The Experience of a Lifetime” (LindsayMader)
• “Cultivating Gratitude” (Infertile Phoenix)
• “Baking” (Inconceivable!)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Empty Arms, Broken Heart tries to blow some adoption myths out of the water when she sees a cousin’s thoughtless post, though her words were ignored. Still, they’re important to say. She writes, “I think if anyone is going to promote adoption they should do it with their eyes wide-open to reality. There are beautiful sides to adoption but there are also hard truths that can’t be overlooked.” Thank you for expanding the story.

Baby Ridley Bump has a post about postponing her IVF cycle. These are the types of posts that people need to read when they cavalierly speak about IVF as if it’s the easiest solution in the world. She writes, “Sometimes when I think about it I think to myself, such is life–there will never be a perfect time with no stress and nothing going on, I realize that, but there will be a better time, a time when things are a little more settled & I think right after the holidays, first of the year will be exponentially better for us.” It’s a post about listening to your gut and knowing that it rarely steers you wrong.

Slaying, Blogging, Whatever… has a post about missing writing in her space. I love this (not the fact that her year has gone off the rails, but because I also give myself stern lectures): “This year has gone off the rails so fast and we have never really recovered. I told myself that I would steer into the slide, and with each new road block, I have found myself having a harder time having the emotional (and sometimes physical) energy to steer. Okay, self. Enough!” I related, which is why I love blogging: When you connect with another person’s story because it reminds you of your own.

Lastly, The Next 15000 Days suggests practicing acts of kindness and including someone on the sidelines. She writes, “I realized why it has been so hurtful to go through life unnoticed and excluded – just because I am a childless woman. I stopped counting how many times I was excluded from conversations just because some people assume I have nothing to say (just because I don’t have children of my own).” Reach out today to another blogger.

The roundup to the Roundup: The twins are braver than I am. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 8th and 15th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.