Category — Friday Blog Roundup

I have a hot date with my pyjamas this weekend. Friday night, we’re doing appetizers for dinner (in my pyjamas), and then reading or re-watching old episodes of The Crown. I’m supposed to be social on Saturday, so I guess I’ll have to shower and change out of pyjamas for a few hours, but the second it’s done, it’s back to pyjamas. And then Sunday, well, you may have guessed, I’m in pyjamas.

There will be chips consumed. There will be movies watched. There will be books read. But there will be zero work unless you count the hard work of scrolling through GoodReads and finding more things to read.

I am mentally checking out for 48 hours. And I’m doing most of it in pyjamas.

Let the relaxation begin in like… eight hours. I cannot wait.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Babies Don’t Die So That People Can Learn Life Lessons–They Just Die And It’s Tragic” (An Unexpected Family Outing)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Lavender Luz has seven facts about National Adoption Month, most of which you probably don’t know. I mean, I didn’t know them, therefore, I assume most people won’t know them. Though once I read the post, I was like, “Yeah, that makes sense.” Learn how the month came about and the impulse behind it.

Inconcievable’s final cycle didn’t work, but I love that she asked for what she needed from her doctor. It is so hard to trust that someone will step up — especially if they’re correcting how they inadvertently behaved — but she makes sure that she has the final interaction she needs. She writes, “I don’t really believe in ‘closure.’ Like so many other griefs, resolving infertility will be an ongoing process. Even when we’ve finalized the last of the decisions, I suspect there will be pangs that pierce me at the most strange and random moments for many years to come. Infertility will no longer be one of the major, ongoing parts of my life, but it will always be a part of my story.” So true.

Finally, The Uterus Monologues has a guest post about miscarriage affecting the writer’s sex life. She writes, “The topic of post-loss sex isn’t very well explored. A quick Google search shows that while there’s plenty of information covering how you might feel about sex immediately after your loss (and generally the sensible health advice is that it’s fine to have sex again once your symptoms have stopped) there’s little that signposts the confusing and complex feelings that may come later. So, let’s dive in.” Wow — what an informative, important post.

The roundup to the Roundup: Did I mention how much I love my pyjamas? Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 1st and 8th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

We finally have semi-definitive proof that, in the future, I’m going to become a time traveler.

So back in April, I posted this story on Facebook:

Today I discovered that I may be a time traveler.

I went to the dentist and was being led back to the room by a woman I have never seen before. She said, “You look amazing. You did something different with your hair.”

I murmured, “No.”

And she said, “Well you look ten times younger. Really, you look amazing today. You’ve changed something.”

I wasn’t saying anything so she paused and her mouth dropped open. “Oh my G-d, you think we haven’t met yet. Okay, well, let’s just leave it that you look great today.” And then she walked away.

So either she is a time traveler or I am a time traveler, but there is something weird with our timelines.

Okay, so we already knew from that exchange that I must become a time traveler, correct?

Anyway, I was completely calm during the World Series because I definitively knew that the Nats would win. I didn’t even bother paying attention to most of the games because I knew it so completely.

Josh was freaking out during the last game. It was the third inning, and he was miserable because we were down two. But I told him not to worry; that nothing would happen until the seventh inning, but then we’d get our first run and ultimately win the series. I kept repeating it to him throughout the game, completely calm.

During the seventh inning, I moved away from him on the bed because I knew that when the hit happened, he would inadvertently grab my arm in surprise. But if I moved away from him, he’d jump off the bed instead and scream something like, “How did you do that?” WHICH WAS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.

I have never been so calm as I’ve been watching the game. I just knew, without a doubt, that we’d win. As if I had watched the game before. Which the ChickieNob pointed out I probably had, which was how that woman at the dentist’s office knew me. Or I must have told myself the score of the game so I’ll believed myself when I showed up.

Right?

#onlyhalfjokingaboutthis

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “The Lasting Trauma of Infertility” (The Next 15000 Days)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Anabegins has an eye-opening post about how sometimes the people around us reflect back our own communication style. So if we’re not feeling supported, we may want to peek back on whether the other person has ever been feeling something similar and think about how we reacted. It’s a post about dealing with stress and uncertainty; something related to infertility, and I think many people will find this post helpful.

Life Without Baby has a post explaining embracing being child-free by comparing it to playing a trombone. Like the instrument, processing living child-free means sliding around rather than landing soundly on a note. She writes, “One day, you’re content and determined to make the most of your situation, then something happens to trigger all those old emotions and you find yourself sliding back down. Then you get to talk someone who understands you and you feel like you can really figure this out…until your friend announces a pregnancy and back down you go again.” I like the analogy.

Lastly, No Kidding in NZ has a post about belonging. It stems from an interview with a Maori man wanting to be among other Maori, and she applies the idea to her own life of being around other people who also don’t have children. We all have places in life where we are the other, and places where we are among people in a similar situation. And we all need time with the latter to draw in energy.

The roundup to the Roundup: I am a time traveler. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between October 25th and November 1st) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Watching videos without headphones on your phone in a waiting room… just no. We’re all adults. We know this isn’t okay. Except that it happened not once but twice in the same day in two separate waiting rooms.

I woke up one morning with hives, snapped a picture, and emailed it to my doctor, asking if I should do something about it. I not-so-secretly hoped that she would write back and say, “Nah, take a Benadryl. It’s all good.” Instead her nurse wrote that I should be seen that day.

So I went down to the doctor’s office where there was first a middle-aged man watching sports and news videos on his phone at the loudest volume. Everyone was staring at him, but he just took that as a sign to let all of us know how much he was enjoying the videos.

Then, after the appointment, I needed to go to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. I had to wait for it to be filled and the only empty chair was across from a woman who was FaceTiming her sister. Again, video and responses both at top volume.

There were signs in both waiting rooms asking people not to use their mobile phone at all, but, clearly, that isn’t enforced.

It made me want to never leave home.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff…

Okay, now my choices this week.

Inconceivable writes about being in the space where she knows the active part of family building is finished, but she’s still waiting for the results of their final cycle. She writes, “It seems a bit fitting that in the same month I got the PCOS diagnosis back in 2012, we are wrapping up the last loose ends in 2019. Same sunshine, same crisp air, same bright trees and dusty corn fields.” I love the quote at the end of the post. Send her good thoughts.

The Uterus Monologues asks the eternal question: “But why?” She explains, “This, essentially, is what happens to your brain after you lose a baby. It short-circuits to six-year-old brain: But why? But why. But why. But why. And none of the grown-ups can answer you.” Her post unpacks this “black hole in your brain” filled with all of the questions and none of the answers.

Lastly, a two-fer from Of Needles and Noodles, who is tearing up the blogosphere this month with a post-a-day challenge. The first is a post about weather, island life, and an IVF cycle. What do you do when you’re dependent on a ferry to get you to your monitoring appointments? The other post begins: “It’s hard to explain the feeling of missing a family member who’s never been there to someone who has never experienced it.” I love this.

The roundup to the Roundup: Headphones were invented for a reason. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between October 18th and 25th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

The Nats are going to the World Series! As a Nats superfan (though I’m sad that I no longer rank #1 for the search term “Nationals Superfan” due to all the Johnny-Come-Latelies), I was very excited ESPECIALLY because I botched things back in October 12, 2012, when I woke up the Wolvog before the final out to tell him that we were going to the playoffs. Then I had to eat my words in the morning and explain that we were definitely NOT going to the playoffs. Josh made me wait this time until the team stormed the field before I let the Wolvog know we were World Series bound.

I asked Josh if we were going to go to the World Series, and he looked at me incredulously and said, “Do you know how much those tickets cost?” Even for superfans who no longer rank on Google as a superfan? I just assumed Chase Parker would call and offer me free tickets so I could cheer on my boys.

So… yeah… exciting times in D.C. At least, on the baseball front. Everything else in D.C.? Let’s not think about that for a moment…

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Three Year Old Embryos” (Lindsaymader)
• “Making Plans” (Infertile Phoenix)

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Next 15000 Days has a post about a visit from a blogging friend. I love the part in the post where she recounts how they were speaking about the bloggers who came before them: “How important a bit older bloggers were for us. Reading their blogs was comforting for us in the darkest days of our infertility since it gave us hope that there is possibility of living happily again. We both agreed that Mali was a motherly figure to both of us.” I love that because we all have people who came before us on our infertility or loss journey who helped us through it with their words. Someone may be the same age (or even younger!) but, situationally, they still can be motherly.

By the Brooke wrote a series of thought-provoking notes in a single post. From being an anticipator (me too!) to being a pizza orderer (I think I’m somewhere between pizza orderer and chili cooker), I was nodding along. And then I got to these beautiful words: “For the longest time after Eliza died, it was so easy to imagine what my life would be like if she had lived that I couldn’t stop doing it. Eventually it got trickier, and although I still think wistfully of what it would be like to have her here with us, it’s harder for me to imagine. I just have no idea what kind of third-grader she would be.” She alternates between the what is and the what could be, trying to live in the space in between. Read to the end: she makes you laugh just as much as she makes you cry.

Lastly, it was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day this week, and Of Needles to Noodles has a post about it. The letter she wrote her son made me bawl. She explains, “I want Laurie to know about his siblings who aren’t here. Although they were lost, we haven’t lost them.” Go read it. Bring tissues.

The roundup to the Roundup: Nationals are going to the World Series. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between October 11th and 18th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Memory has clearly been on my mind this week, and it has everything to do with my newfound love of birding. Everyone thinks I’m being sarcastic about birding. But I am really serious: I am going all-in with birding. Like passionately doing everything except waking up early to go on bird hikes. I’m not there yet. I need to be convinced that waking up early is worth it.

So the whole memory thing is that you can watch a bird only until it flies away. If you’ve invested in a great camera, you can capture a close-up of the bird, but most of the time, you’re memorizing things such as the marking patterns and behaviour in a small window of time, and somehow retaining it until you can get to the bird guide.

I am terrible at this.

Number one, birds do not stop moving, even when you’ve asked them to hold still. Also, I tend to only be interested in tiny, cute birds. Tiny, cute birds are harder to see within the foliage and they move around. A lot. And they’re hard to track while they’re moving. So this all points toward a perfect storm of frustration.

I am now attempting to go about it the other way, memorizing birds I may see in my area at each time of year, and then seeing if the bird I’m seeing matches the criteria I’ve kept in my head. That whole memorization thing. See, so thought-consuming.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “La vie sans enfant non choisie, côté face” (Des méandres aux étoiles)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Searching for Our Silver Lining has a post about owning your narrative. This is the post’s main opening: “Each and every organism that walks this earth has its own story to tell. This statement in and of itself isn’t terribly profound, but where it becomes reflective is when a layer is added that often most of these stories are repressed. This repression is often not done to be actively malicious but is a consequence of someone else viewing the sharing of an individual story as being threatening to their own. Despite our individualities, our stories are intertwined. Sharing is often not easy.” Um… YES. I was sucked in from those first sentences, and it only got more interesting from there.

The Uterus Monologues has a post, written in third person, about observing a group of mothers in a cafe. She writes, “She never can resist watching these women. It’s never the same group, but that hardly matters. The group changes, the age of their babies changes, but the way they make her feel doesn’t.” It is such a powerful piece of writing.

Lastly, One Step at a Time writes about a decision. Her husband died one year ago this week. She explains depression, “She talked about ourselves as if we are a bucket. If little stones hit us, we can recover easily. But if something really big happens to us, it leaves a big hole. And that’s when we become susceptible to other things to fill it up.” She has gotten a new therapist and made the decision to move. She writes: “I have many fears about moving. But I am more afraid of standing still.” Sending her many good thoughts as she keeps moving.

The roundup to the Roundup: Birding takes memory. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between October 4th and 11th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.