Category — Friday Blog Roundup

The ChickieNob has fallen in love with the British royal family.

Up until now, her affection has been entirely for US presidents.  She is freakishly knowledgeable about presidents, first ladies, first children, and first mothers (though, strangely enough, not first fathers).  Oh, and first family pets.  And the White House itself.  She can name every president by sight, rattle off a few facts about each one, tell you their administration’s major accomplishments, and give you a quote or two from one of their speeches.  I’m telling you, she’s a great party trick.

And then, a few weeks ago, just like that, stories about the Queen were suddenly in our home.  She started talking about the British royal family as if they were distant relatives on the family tree or characters in a particularly juicy book.  She affectionately gave her opinion on everyone from Queen Victoria to Kate Middleton.  And she followed on my heels while I tried to cook, telling me all about their various affairs and arranged marriages and wars.

We let her watch The Queen (she is fiercely protective of Diana) and The King’s Speech with us.  We’re looking for other great movies or documentaries you can recommend.  I think that Elizabeth is a little too racy for her.  (The King’s Speech is rated R, but it’s for language.  And language doesn’t really bother us.  We just don’t want mature themes or violence.)

Has anyone seen (and can give an opinion on) any of these films?  I know nothing about them:

• The Young Victoria
• Hyde Park on Hudson
• Elizabeth: The Golden Age
• Wallis and Edward
• The Madness of King George

Or really, recommend anything tied to the British royal family (at any point in time).

I’m sort of digging having the royal family verbally around.  They’ve really grown on me.

Ooooh, just wait until she branches out into prime ministers.

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So we decided to do a party for the twins’ birthday, and we’re going with a Minute to Win It theme.  Dozens of games which each take one minute to play with the kids divided into two teams.

It’s less work than their original idea, which was “The Spring Olympics” where they wanted to come up (and have me execute) eight “Olympic”-like games.  With a full medal ceremony at the end.  Uh… no, thank you.

This is a lot less work.  A lot less fuss.  Just make two cakes, grab a few props, rope in a few friends to help, and we’re good to go.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “This is Why I Read Your Blog” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, St. Elsewhere!
• “I Finally Made it” (Waiting for Baby Bird)

Okay, now my choices this week.

No Words to Say It has a post about being a perfectionist and how that affected her during her struggle with infertility as well as the transition into adoptive parenting.  She writes so gorgeously about her connection with her child’s first parent, “I looked up at her, and suddenly, I knew that trying to look and sound perfect on the day that we met was ridiculous. I knew this because the eyes mine met in that moment were my own. There was no need to be perfect. There was just a need to be me. To be the best I could be for her. And her.”  The post is just beautiful and an important reminder.

In a very brief, mostly visual post, Mona Darling gives us a fantastic Eleanor Roosevelt quote.  One that maybe everyone should have posted somewhere prominently (and permanently) in their field of vision.

Edenland gives us a post to bookmark and read every time we get a nasty blog comment.  All of the stages are applicable to any angry encounter in the face-to-face world too.  It’s brilliant advice that will hopefully get you quickly to stage 5.

Lastly, I cannot resist sharing Two Adults, One Child follow-up Disney post.  Ooooh, I just love Disney, and all of the advice she’s giving is bookmarkable too.  It sounds like a lot has changed from the last time we were there, including the magic bands and the way they now do FastPass tickets.  So I read it now, but then I bookmarked it to save it for later because… Disney!

The roundup to the Roundup: Recommend movies about the royal family.  The party idea we ultimately decided to do.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 28th and April 4th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I have cold medicine brain, that overtired, slow-thinking feeling when your body hasn’t been able to sleep off the residual effects of Benadryl.  I slept enough, but my body doesn’t quite want to release Benadryl’s sweet grip.  So everything is moving somewhat slowly today.

I rarely get ill, but this winter, I’ve been sick at least four times.  I think it’s been five, but I’ve lost count.  So to be conservative, we’ll say four.  This is in addition to throwing out my back.  In other words, I’ve been a hot mess.

It feels like every time I get back up to speed in life, I get sick again.  Which makes me take a step back to tend to my watery eyes and sneezing nose.  Afterward, it takes days to get back up to speed with life and become productive (instead of playing catch-up).  And right when I hit that sweet spot where I feel like everything is back to normal, I get sick again and the cycle begins anew.

This has been the lost winter.  Between snow and illness and death and a host of other shittiness, very little has gotten accomplished.

I’m trying to be okay with the lack of forward movement.  To just sit in the reality of this winter, shrug, and think, “well, maybe spring will be different?”

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On the other hand, my Hay Day farm is chugging along.  I’m about to enter level 46.  Buy the soup kitchen.  I’ve opened up all my fishing holes.  My barn and silo can each hold 650 units.

It’s good to be productive somewhere.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “This is Why I Read Your Blog” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, Katherine A and Northern Star!
• “Reflections on My Experience of Infertility, Loss, and the ALI Community” (It’s Just a Box of Rain)
• “The Miscarriage Misconception” (Operation: Wife)
• “Melissa’s Story — Baby Abigail, Stillborn at 36 Weeks” (The Lewis Note)
• “3/21” (Invincible Spring)
• “My Life & Middlemarch” (The Road Less Travelled)
• “The No-Baby Boom” (Macleans)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Two community-created/led projects: The Infertility Voice is back up and running with a gorgeous new design and a lot of resources.  You can jump directly to the blog posts, but make sure you take some time to peruse all the links she’s compiled for everything from discount fertility drugs to premature ovarian failure.  And DI Dad is spearheading a very cool, frank discussion on donor conception.  In the vein of Postsecret, DI Dad is asking those in the donor conception community (donors, donor-conceived, and donor-assisted parents) to lay bare their thoughts on donor conception.  Those utilizing donor gametes should check it out.

Res Cogitatae has a post about the figurative ravens on her shoulder: anger and anxiety.  She writes, “That one says more than the other. It is larger, more demanding, harder to shut away. Anger is more prone to unexpected outbursts, croaks responses that lack proportion. Anxiety is softer but more insidious. It has spent more time with me.”  It is a gorgeous, gorgeous post, and Serenity’s comment is equally thought-provoking: “Fear is a misuse of imagination.”

Lastly, With Every Heartbeat has a post about loneliness; about how difficult it is to make friends with other women when all the various friend-making avenues are closed.  I love love love the end of this post.  Love it so much.

The roundup to the Roundup: I’m sick.  Again.  But my Hay Day farm is awesome.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 21st and March 28th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

The “Other” category on my iTunes account is back up to over 6 GB.  An Applecare technician was able to reduce it to a reasonable amount right before Christmas.  Unfortunately, she did this by giving me terrible advice that erased my phone completely, causing me to lose my contacts, calendar, and photos.  But… you know… the “Other” category was smaller afterward, so it was an overall win?

And then I synced my phone and it jumped to 2 GB.  I synced again and it was over 4 GB.  And today, I had to sync my phone, and now it’s over 6 GB.

I’ve tried all the suggestions I could find online: turning off the phone while it’s plugged into iTunes (this is supposed to reboot it?), deleting old messages, deleting the cache in Safari, deleting apps that I added recently.

Before I call Applecare again and risk losing what I’ve been able to reconstruct, does anyone know how to reduce the amount of space taken up by “Other” in the phone?  I’m assuming, by this point, that it’s corrupted files because the number jumps with each sync.  But how do I get those corrupted files off the phone?  Or maybe it isn’t corrupted files.  Has anyone else had a problem with the “Other” category on iTunes, and how did you reduce the size of that category?

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “A Bleak Choice” (Abigail Rieley)

Okay, now my choices this week.

I’m going to touch the third rail here and link to two posts that I think are important posts to read.  We will never move forward by sweeping our foibles under the rug.

A+ Effort has a post about positive adoption language, and the incident that happened on Facebook this week.  She explains, “Bottom line: language matters. We, the infertility community, KNOW THAT. We bristle at ‘just relax’ or ‘it’s God’s will.’ We spend a lot of energy educating those around us that we have a medical problem and that it’s unthinkably rude to suggest maybe we aren’t meant to be parents … The community of adoptive parents* has as strong of an interest in teaching people to use appropriate language about adoption…”  It’s a wonderful, respectful, thought-provoking post that points out that talking about difficult subjects doesn’t require perfection, but it does require the listener and the speaker to both be able to communicate openly with one another.

Additionally, From IF to When has decided to move to a new blog space, and also touches on the Facebook incident.  Her post shines light on the responsibility of a host.  If two guests started shouting at each other in your living room, you would jump into the fight and try to quell the hurt feelings.  You would maybe moderate the conversation between the two sides so they could come to a place of peace.  You wouldn’t stay in the kitchen, humming to yourself while you refilled the veggie dip bowl.  And the same goes for online gatherings.  When arguments bubble up, it is the host’s responsibility to address the tension: in another blog post, within the comment section, in individual emails, in a new thread.  There are plenty of options, but silence or saying that you don’t have time to monitor comments isn’t one of them when it comes to responsible hosting.  Or, silence/lack of monitoring is an option, but then the host needs to deal with the consequences of that silence.  In this case, the silence hurt the community, and as I stated above, the only way forward through hurt feelings is forward.  Yes, it may be upsetting to dredge up comfortable thoughts, but really, it weakens our community when we can’t speak openly with one another.  Ultimately, if people are willing to listen and respond, a lot of good can come from those tough conversations.

And now onto other topics.

A Greater Yes is moving from family building to family living in this post about being almost done (in 2015) with trying to conceive.  After being ensconced in this mindset for half of her life, she muses about how difficult it will be to stop thinking in terms of embryos and cycles after 16 years.  She writes, “Honestly, I don’t know how to be anyone but this one. Almost my entire adult life has revolved around trying to become a mother. And now to complete our family. Yet I look forward to letting this chapter close and just focus on the children that I do have. No more looking for embryos. No more saving money for treatments. No more comparing medication prices. Just living.”  It’s exciting and settling and scary, all at the same time.

Lastly, If You Don’t Stand for Something has a post about emerging from the long winter.  It’s been a hard period of time, and all of her energy has been going into getting through it. (Well, and her remaining energy is going to Girl Guides — thank you!)  I like this post because it’s a glimpse into someone else’s life, like looking through a window.

The roundup to the Roundup: Save me from the “Other” on my phone.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 14th and March 21st) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Letting the last of the comments trickle in on the party posts, and then I have one last thought I’ll post this weekend.  Just waiting until everyone else has their say first.

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I recently started drinking almond milk, and I love it.  I’m not really an almond milk sort of person.  I’m not sure what sort of person is an almond milk sort of person, but I’m fairly certain it isn’t me.  But my sister coached me on a brand to try, and I started eating it over cereal.  It’s amazing.  I don’t know if I’d want to drink a whole glass of the stuff, but over cereal?  It’s like dessert.

Why am I telling you this?  Because a friend told me about it, and then I asked my sister about it.  And… look at me… now I’m drinking almond milk.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “The Golden Ticket” (Serenity Now!)
• “The Flood and After” (Invincible Spring)
• “The Mom’s Club: Outside Looking In” (Waiting for Baby Bird)
• “Infertility’s Waiting Room” (No Kidding in NZ)

Okay, now my choices this week.

It’s Baby Day for MoJo Working.  Any time you’ve followed someone’s family building path for so long, you can’t help but be awed with them that the moment has arrived that they’ve been waiting for so many years to reach.  She admits, “I’m both terrified and excited, while in a suspended state of disbelief. I’ve just never really allowed myself to ‘go there,’ at least not in many, many, years. It’s been a decade of ‘one step at a time’ and living moment to moment, trying to just make it to the next milestone. The last milestone is here, friends.”  Congratulations!

Life and Love in the Petri Dish has a post reflecting on her experience with infertility.  It’s an interesting post (and a lively discussion in the comment section) about the chiasm that occurred for the author between reaching that lowest point in the journey and the gratitude she feels today.  I like the comparison she makes to the stages of cancer and surviving a life-threatening illness.  Very thought-provoking post, and all who know me well know that I always fall hard for a palistrophe.

Lastly, it’s cryptic and I was very intrigued by My Lady of the Lantern’s post about her dream connection with her mother.  She writes, “I have never stopped myself from hovering over those months ever. But it appears to me that I automatically skip tracks. I don’t plan to tell my mother over the perspective I have developed lest it hurt her. Dreams are therapy.”  The writing in the post is dream-like, lending an unreal quality to the words as if you’re about to wake.

The roundup to the Roundup: One more thought on birthday parties coming soon.  I love almond milk.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 7th and March 14th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I don’t know what inspired me to do so, but last week at shul, I leaned over during a prayer and started singing to the ChickieNob and Wolvog the naughty words we used to slip in as kids.  They were the usual ones — the standards that all Jewish kids who have been to Jewish sleepaway camp know — such as “I swear I share my bras” for “asher asher bara.” (For that one, we got in a lot of trouble as teens because we’d snap each other’s bra straps when we sang that.)

The ChickieNob was delighted to discover such subversiveness existed within the context of shul.  As we drove home, she made me sing the prayers over and over again so she could memorize where to put in these phrases.  And in doing so, she actually learned the words to the prayers in order to masticate them into a new wad of meaning.  I warned them that they may want to be discreet.  Use them infrequently.  Don’t end up in the principal’s office at Hebrew school as much as I did.

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So I heard about this new app made by Spritz which allows you to speed read.  As of now, the app is only on Samsung devices?  Anyway, I tried it out on the Spritz site.  I felt very comfortable at 500 wpm (220 wpm is average for regular reading).  I could do 600 wpm.  I will definitely be downloading this app when it comes available on iOS devices.

But.

Even though I know I will definitely buy this app and use it, I’m not sure how/when I’ll use it.  Will I consume books this way?  Yes, but which books?  Most likely books I have to read vs. want to read.  I don’t think I’d use it for email, though I could see myself using it for magazine articles.  It will change the way I do research, though I don’t see how I would use a speed reading app if I needed to take notes.  By the time my brain processed that I wanted to remember a fact, I’d be three or four sentences away.

I guess I see it as the difference between eating to sustain myself and eating to enjoy the meal.  There are times when I grab a granola bar just because if I don’t put something in my body, I’ll faint.  And that’s fine sometimes.  But other times, I want to sit down with a nice, home-cooked meal and focus on eating something to enjoying it.

If you can’t wait for this app to be available, there are ones online that seem to work just as well.  Even though they’re really only great for blog posts and not for whole books, such as spreeder.

What do you think of speed reading apps?

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Fertility: A Spectrum” (Genuine Greavu)
• “Thoughts on Empathy” (A Fox in the Hen House)
• “The Club” (A Glimpse Inside)
• “The Golden Ticket” (Serenity Now)
• “The Tension Between Manifestation and Letting Go” (The Unexpected Trip)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Mama Said Knock You Out is back with a post about life after family building.  It’s a little pop-in; a message to anyone who stumbles across the space, letting them know the epilogue.  That whatever you’re feeling today, you will not feel forever.  I love the ending: “For now, I hope to continue that float up. Not too quickly or too soon as I fear once I break the surface, it shall mean I have died. It’s not too bad here. It’s OK.”

Feeding My Inner Child… Hopefully has a post about infertility souvenirs, a different way of looking at lessons learned through the experience.  She writes, “I was originally going to title this ‘The Gift of Infertility,’ but in many ways, infertility was not a present and I was definitely not pleased to receive it. Souvenir sounds so much better. It’s something I’ve chosen to take away from my journey, and something that I will keep forever.”  She points out that her list is personal, but I think the post will resonate with a lot of people.

Lastly, Two Adults, One Child about the lifespan of an infertility/loss blog.  She writes, “So, of course I have lost some readers along the way.  I’m really NOT that interesting anymore — at least, from the standpoint of infertility.  I will always be able to identify with the infertility community, but perhaps there are some in the infertility community who can no longer identify with me.”  Thankfully, she’s not going away.  But it is an interesting observation.

The roundup to the Roundup: Bad influence on the twins.  What do you think of speed reading apps?  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 28th and March 7th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.