Category — Show and Tell

Show and Tell is wasted on elementary schoolers. Join several dozen bloggers weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class. In other words, this is Show and Tell 2.0. Everyone is welcome to join, even if you have never posted before and just found out about Show and Tell for the first time today. So yank out a photo of the worst bridesmaid’s dress you ever wore and tell us the story; show off the homemade soup you cooked last night; or tell us all about the scarf you made for your first knitting project. Details on how to participate are located at the bottom of this post.

Let’s begin.

On Monday, I was supposed to get my guitar restrung, though ended up with only one replaced string, which is a long story that you will be subjected to in a moment.  The reason this fact is important is that the guitar still sounds like shit and Josh has offered to pay me not to play it.  He gave me a massage one night in exchange for a promise that I would leave it in the case.  This is a beautiful thing.

I have not played the guitar since the twins were babies and I instituted the game “band camp” which meant we sat on the living room floor and I played the same three chords over and over again and they banged on their Fisher Price instruments and I recorded it and would play it for Josh every night, asking him, “do you think we have a chance at establishing a family band?  Like the Jonas Brothers or the Von Trapps?”  See, even back then I knew how to create a little piece of torture.

The best part is that because it hasn’t been played in years, the twins have pretty much forgotten about the guitar.  I gave them a little reminder on Tuesday night.  They were up talking after bedtime, so I crept upstairs with the guitar, bumped the door open with my hip, and started serenading them with an impromptu song about how they’re in deep shit for not going to bed.   The Wolvog informed me that I had scared him with my earnest opening G-chord, but since I was up there anyway, could he try the guitar?  Band camp has been resurrected.

I’m not ashamed to admit this–I don’t know how to string a classical guitar.  I’m also not ashamed to admit this–some of my strings are 25 years old.  I have one string that is massively corroded and set to snap at any moment.  But what can I do?  I have an unnatural attachment to these original guitar strings and no desire to learn a new skill.  Actually, I would love to learn if someone wanted to teach me.  I don’t want to learn off of YouTube, which is what the woman in the store suggested.

She was unwilling to restring my guitar unless I was willing to leave it there overnight (even though, I might add, the store was empty the half hour we debated this, the phone didn’t ring once, and it took her under three minutes to change the string she did change despite the fact that she told me it would take forever to change all six strings.  Apparently, forever is currently equal to 18 minutes).  As she replaced the one string, she suggested that I learn how to take care of my guitar and told me that I have no business owning this guitar unless I do.

I know Riotgrrl was trying to get me to grow a pair of ovaries (perhaps ones that work!) by giving me a tough love speech about wo-manning up and becoming self-sufficient.  But I didn’t want tough love.  I didn’t want love at all.  I just wanted my guitar restrung so I could play my way through Rise Up Singing.  And since Josh wouldn’t buy me this at O’Hurley’s General Store in Shepherdstown last weekend, I have no choice but to use the guitar.  Corroded strings and all.

Which is just a long way of saying–does anyone want to buy me a lap harp or teach me how to string my guitar?

What are you showing today?

Click here or scroll down to the bottom of this post if this is your first time joining along (Important: link to the permalink for the post, not the main url for your blog and use your blog’s name, not your name. Links not going to a Show and Tell post will be deleted). The list is open from now until late Friday night and a new one is posted every week.

Show and Tell is wasted on elementary schoolers. Join several dozen bloggers weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class. In other words, this is Show and Tell 2.0. Everyone is welcome to join, even if you have never posted before and just found out about Show and Tell for the first time today. So yank out a photo of the worst bridesmaid’s dress you ever wore and tell us the story; show off the homemade soup you cooked last night; or tell us all about the scarf you made for your first knitting project. Details on how to participate are located at the bottom of this post.

Let’s begin.

Say what you want about Allison, like the fact that she would willingly live in a state that has flying cockroaches–which are just crickets in my book.  The woman remembers the fine details.

It started almost two years ago, shortly after Zoë died (the anniversary of which is this upcoming Sunday and it would be nice to flood Allison with love right now) when my family walked for hers in that year’s March of Dimes walk and we were Team Lennox and Zoë.

Her thank you gift was a rock.  I’m not sure if I had mentioned it in a post or in an email, but I had once said in passing that I collected stones from various places.  That I had different ones that I carried with me at different times (the first cycle we tried to conceive, back when we were in giddyland, Josh stole me a rock from a restaurant and I carried that one with me until we delivered the twins…so…er…two and a half years it lived in my pocket and I held it during every procedure and test).  Beyond Josh and the twins who have noticed this because they live with me, my niece is the only other person who has ever given me a stone.  We were walking and she bent down, picked up a random rock, and said, “I know you like these.”

So a rock came in the mail, I bawled at her thoughtfulness and the fact that she would remember, and a tradition was born where we send each other rocks from various places.  Her husband makes her steal her own rocks when she sees one in a rock display.  Mine knows I’m a wimp and rolls his eyes and says, “I know, one for you and one for Allison” before doing my dirty work.  We have given each other rocks from beaches and hiking trails.  We just usually pop them in a padded envelope.

Last fall, my postmistress told me a story when I was mailing a new rock to her about how she used to do that with a friend too and how the woman (who is now in her 80s) keeps the rocks in her garden and likes to sit outside and look at them and how she knows if someone moves one.  I told Allison, “Let’s be crotchety like that when we’re older; yelling at people for moving our stones.”  So now we’re committed to becoming bat-shit insane old ladies.

This week, a very special rock came from Allison’s very special place and I am beyond honoured that she would bring me a rock from there.  Those are the best ones–not the ones that are beautiful and smooth and nice to hold, but the ones that come from somewhere meaningful.  Her mother mailed the package for her and included this too:

The twins and I were marveling at it, imagining the size of the bird who built and abandoned this nest.  Josh walked into the kitchen and said, “I just want to state for the record that I am not going to start stealing abandoned bird’s nests for you to start sending back and forth to each other.”

And while that thought hadn’t occurred to me before that point, I think it sounds like a fine idea.  And now I need to go work on Josh since he has those long arms that can reach into trees.

Thank you, Allison (and Allison’s mummy), and my heart is with you all weekend as you remember Zoë.  We’ll be thinking about her too.

What are you showing today?

Click here or scroll down to the bottom of this post if this is your first time joining along (Important: link to the permalink for the post, not the main url for your blog and use your blog’s name, not your name. Links not going to a Show and Tell post will be deleted). The list is open from now until late Friday night and a new one is posted every week.

Show and Tell is wasted on elementary schoolers. Join several dozen bloggers weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class. In other words, this is Show and Tell 2.0. Everyone is welcome to join, even if you have never posted before and just found out about Show and Tell for the first time today. So yank out a photo of the worst bridesmaid’s dress you ever wore and tell us the story; show off the homemade soup you cooked last night; or tell us all about the scarf you made for your first knitting project. Details on how to participate are located at the bottom of this post.

Let’s begin.

I had oral surgery yesterday and survived.  I was going to photograph my revolting mouth, but decided against it in case anyone is eating while reading this.  So you get this fun site which I shamelessly stole from Julie instead.

At formspring.me, you can set up a program that collects questions and then posts your answers.

I think what is most interesting (to me, at least, since I don’t know if I actually have anything interesting to say) is what is asked by the sheer fact that it’s anonymous.

The problem is that even though I have checked a box asking for the program to notify me when I have a question, it doesn’t.  Therefore, it becomes one more place to check and frankly, the last thing I need on the Web is one more place to check.  So I’m not sure how long this space will last, unlike my beloved Posterous spot where I am still posting several times a week, especially whenever I’m with other ALI bloggers and we are talking about chicken sex.

So, in honour of my new Formspring site, either ask me a question there.  Or, if you’re feeling infinitely braver about standing behind your question, ask it in the comment section below.  And I may even answer it.

What are you showing today?

Click here or scroll down to the bottom of this post if this is your first time joining along (Important: link to the permalink for the post, not the main url for your blog and use your blog’s name, not your name. Links not going to a Show and Tell post will be deleted). The list is open from now until late Friday night and a new one is posted every week.

Show and Tell is wasted on elementary schoolers. Join several dozen bloggers weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class. In other words, this is Show and Tell 2.0. Everyone is welcome to join, even if you have never posted before and just found out about Show and Tell for the first time today. So yank out a photo of the worst bridesmaid’s dress you ever wore and tell us the story; show off the homemade soup you cooked last night; or tell us all about the scarf you made for your first knitting project. Details on how to participate are located at the bottom of this post.

Let’s begin.

Befana brought the loot last night.

She brings not quite the gift extravaganza as Purim or a birthday–two small toys and some candy.  She usually, cheeky bitch that she is, requests a little behaviour modification in her yearly letter too.  Last year, she helped smooth over a difficult patch at school.  The year before, she was the main impetus that got them potty training.  This year, she has asked them to leave their binkies on the top step on Friday night and she’ll swing by and pick them up for binky-less Italian babies and leave a toy in their place.  We figured it was the last year to really milk their love of Befana for all its worth before they start realizing that there are a few holes in the Befana story including how she gets from Italy to America on a broomstick in under an hour.

The Wolvog gasped as we read the letter aloud and screamed, “what is Befana trying to do?” as if I had told him that Befana had requested 20 pints of his blood or she was going to hold the yearly chocolate bars hostage.

We told them that it sounded like a pretty good deal.  They were going to have to give up the binky regardless someday soon, and here, they could help binky-less Italian children and get a toy for their emotional pain.  They went to school muttering about this and told me they would make a decision before Friday.  Oh–and yes, I’m well aware that we should have given up the binky about 3 years ago, but…well…I am a weak-willed woman and frankly, teeth are overrated.

What are you showing today?

Click here or scroll down to the bottom of this post if this is your first time joining along (Important: link to the permalink for the post, not the main url for your blog and use your blog’s name, not your name. Links not going to a Show and Tell post will be deleted). The list is open from now until late Friday night and a new one is posted every week.

Show and Tell is wasted on elementary schoolers. Join several dozen bloggers weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class. In other words, this is Show and Tell 2.0. Everyone is welcome to join, even if you have never posted before and just found out about Show and Tell for the first time today. So yank out a photo of the worst bridesmaid’s dress you ever wore and tell us the story; show off the homemade soup you cooked last night; or tell us all about the scarf you made for your first knitting project. Details on how to participate are located at the bottom of this post.

Let’s begin.

We got our own Wii as a Chanukkah gift from Josh’s parents which meant that not only could we finally return Lindsay’s Wii (thank you, Lindsay!), but we could also make our own Miis.  Er…which is to say “me” in Wii-language.  Your Mii is the little electronic version of you on the screen that you see replicating the movements you’re making in real life.  So if I jog in place, my Mii moves on the screen.

After we made everyone in our family, we made two additional Miis for others to use when they come over.  They are fraternal boy-girl twins, 35-years in age, named Pru and Henry.

I think I might be falling in love with them.

We’ve begun constructing a very detailed history of their lives as a family.  The four of us talk about them as if they’re real people that we know, chuckling about a funny thing we pretend Henry said that day (oh that Henry!) or wondering what Pru is having for lunch.  The Wolvog announced yesterday, apropos of nothing, that Henry has gotten a dog named “Arf Arf Nigel” after the John Lennon poem.  And now we have constructed a fictional life for his dog as well.

Prudence is on the far left.  She has been trying to have a child with her wife for the last two years.  They’re currently gearing up for another round of IVF–this time using Pru’s egg and her wife’s womb.  She is a librarian and works exclusively with electronic sources.  She speaks Italian–not very well, but enough to get around Italy.  She spent a semester in Florence back in college and went back to Italy between college and graduate school to live in Rome.  She has a tattoo, but you can’t see it when she has her clothes on.

Henry is still trying to find himself.  He’s on the far right.  Huge heart–so giving and loving and thoughtful, but also so irresponsible.  He thought he wanted to be an environmental educator in Costa Rica, but then he realized it was just taking douchebag tourists around and he was fired for showing up to work stoned (oh that Henry!).  He just makes poor choices, though his heart is always in the right place.  As Josh says, “he’s sweet, but dumb.”  He has a sleep disorder and Pru is worried about him, but she already has a lot on her plate.

They come on the screen, even when they’re not in use.  When I’m jogging around the island, I’ll pass them running in the opposite direction.  They show up to cheer me on when I’m bicycling.  Aren’t you smitten with them too?

I have started a site that records my daily workout in case anyone else wants to make the commitment to lose weight in the new year using the Wii Fit.  The site is called The Shrinking Ass and it refers not only to my derriere, but to my ass-y-ness in general.  I will be posting the on-going sagas of Pru and Henry in that space as well as my daily workout and calories burned.

If you are also making the commitment to lose weight and keeping a similar online journal, let me know and I’ll add you to the sidebar so we can have a supportive web-ring for everyone working out and we can trade routines.

What are you showing today?

Click here or scroll down to the bottom of this post if this is your first time joining along (Important: link to the permalink for the post, not the main url for your blog and use your blog’s name, not your name. Links not going to a Show and Tell post will be deleted). The list is open from now until late Friday night and a new one is posted every week.