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340th Friday Blog Roundup

It’s funny; before I posted the blog name post, I was pretty much 100% positive that I wanted to change the name.  Felt at peace about it.  Really loved the other name and felt it fit me perfectly.

And then you guys talked.  And you mentioned the “S” in Stirrup Queens (the one at the end of the word, not the one at the beginning), and I realized that the plurality was a big part of who I am; much moreso than this joke-like title that the ChickieNob and I laughed about one day.  Which is a title in singular.

I think I will take Cradles and Graves suggestion to make it a section of this blog; a small part of the larger whole.  I will still get to use it, only in a smaller capacity.

The problem, of course, is what to put in that space.

Password protected posts?  That’s not really me.

Photographs? I take a lot of them, but usually only to preserve memories.  And without the story, the photograph is sort of worth less (not worthless, but worth less).  And with the words, why not just run them as a regular blog post?

Recipes?  It didn’t really excite me.

Short stories and snippets from chapters I’m working on?  Maybe?

I guess I am looking for something that makes sense to separate it from the main blog.  Because if it’s not self-contained, what is the point?


I am having massive anxiety about kindergarten ending.  On one hand, I want school to be over.  I am done with this school thing.  I’m done with the lunch boxes and homework and racing out of the house at an ungodly hour so we’re not late (I’ll admit that we are an incredibly lazy, slow-moving family).  But I am beyond freaked out for that last day because that last day means that I can no longer say that I have kindergarteners.  After that day, they’ll be first graders.  And that doesn’t sound babyish.

I can’t even write this without crying.

I know that they will be exactly the same age before and after.  That they won’t suddenly change overnight; refuse my kisses and tuck-ins.  But it is the same feeling that came with turning 35.  I was still the same Melissa, but it felt like this wall looming in front of me that once I stepped over, everything changed.

I am well aware that all people need to age.  That I could have a dozen children like a freakin’ human opossum and still need to go through this with the last one.  All puppies turn into dogs.  All babies turn into sulky teenagers.  There is no way to stop this, and I know that “fair” isn’t being used correctly in this instance, but… by fuck… it’s not fair.

Forgive me if I’m moody in the denouement to the year.  I am having a really hard time with them growing up this month.


And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Nuts in May has a post that starts out so brilliantly that I would argue that she hit the mark she wished to reach: “I have Bloggers Block. What I want, is to write something (something? anything!) of searing beauty, or utter hilarity, or elegant irony, or intense meaning, or, of course, all four because the English Language, she is my bitch. What we’ve got is a sort of low-grade flu of the intellect.”  Wasn’t that so damn good?  Plus her point about thanking your mother on Facebook when your mother isn’t even on Facebook made me snicker.  Aloud.

Marriage 2.0 has a post about rejoining Weight Watchers that resonated with me because… well… we sound very much the same.  It had me musing to myself how you bring about that internal spark that goads you into buckling down and getting serious.  Doing it right.  Doing it with support. (Whatever “it” is in your world.)

Our Family Beginnings has a post about adoption that I’d like to show to everyone who says “just adopt” in order to have them understand the intricacies that come with the process.  The very real people involved in the triad, the banging-your-head-against-the-wall paperwork, the waiting.  It’s just an every day post, unleashing frustrations, but I thought about it long after I clicked away.

Lastly, I had to include Baby Smiling in Back Seat’s incredibly moving Mother’s Day post.  It is brief, but it packs an enormous punch, especially the realization about 2010 that comes at the end.

The roundup to the Roundup: Keeping the name, but trying to incorporate the new one somehow.  Having trouble with the concept of everyone aging.  And lots of great blog posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 6 and May 13) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.


1 MommyOdyssey { 05.13.11 at 8:42 am }

I’m really glad you’re keeping the name. I get wanting to “move on”. perhaps the “new section” should be dedicated solely to parenting, whereas this section of the blog will be more about community? just a thought.
Also – I wanted to nominate my amazing husband for next week’s second helpings. I gave him a user on my blog and it’s so worth it. In this post he talks about his own reactions to our three losses, and the way its tested his faith and the way he thinks about things. He’s an amazing and funny writer, and I know a lot of women are looking for that elusive male perspective. Anyway, here’s the link:

2 Louisa { 05.13.11 at 11:00 am }

I hear ya about not wanting your kids to grow up. My little one is only 12 weeks old but is already in stage 2 diapers, each time he outgrew a size I shed a little tear. I want him to grow up but does it have to happen so fast?

3 loribeth { 05.13.11 at 11:07 am }

(((HUGS))) on the end of kindergarten. My mind keeps flashing back to the twins’ first day of nursery school & how emotional that was for you, how you couldn’t even leave the building at first. You’ve come a long way since then, & you can do Grade 1 too. : ) At any rate, you have all summer before then!

For next week’s second helpings, please visit Lisa at Life Without Baby. Although she is now living childless/free after infertility (& wrote a great book about it called “I’m Taking My Eggs and Going Home”), she recently got to participate in a show called “Expressing Motherhood” — the only person onstage talking about motherhood who does not have children — and has included a six-minute video of her performance/monologue on her blog. I dare you to watch it without getting tears in your eyes; I couldn’t. ; )


4 HereWeGoAJen { 05.13.11 at 12:31 pm }

I don’t know what the new name is, but maybe that would be a good section for your stories about the twins? I love stories about them, as they are awesome kids.

5 manymanymoons { 05.13.11 at 1:40 pm }

Maybe have that be a place where you could have rotating guest blogger talk about a topic of your choice.

BTW – I love the sentiment of having the “S” in your blog name. 🙂

6 Calliope { 05.13.11 at 1:58 pm }

fine, fine, FINE
be all “rise above” about the name…
But at the end of the day each post says it is by one Lollipop Goldstein – a singular entity. This means that when it comes to this site – YOU decide. You can put up a poll or ask us to weigh in, but you need to take care of number one. So if you feel like you want to try on a new pair of pants go for it! Do it for the summer and see how it feels – one season where The Stirrup-Queens can get off the table and let ________ have a turn.

…just saying

(you know you love me)

7 Meghan { 05.13.11 at 2:47 pm }

I’m having a hard time with Sophie graduating out of the 2’s class in preschool. I’m afraid I’m going to be the one crazy person crying at the ice cream party. I can’t even imagine her kindergarten graduation. Every milestone is so bittersweet. Remember to take the time to cry your cry. That always makes things a little more manageable to me.

8 Annie { 05.13.11 at 2:48 pm }

My daughter is finishing kindergarten, too. And yes, every milestone like this is sad. But at the same time it’s something to celebrate because NOT all babies grow up to be surly teenagers.

9 jill { 05.13.11 at 3:21 pm }

I’m feeling you on the age thing. I’m having the dreaded 35 bday this year and am dreading so much I can barely bring myself to think about it. I also find it hard to think about the kids in my life 10+ years ago having grown up. I can’t imagine what it’s like with your own children. *hug*

10 Keiko { 05.13.11 at 4:30 pm }

For anyone who has recently moved from “infertile” to “newly pregnant,” I want to highlight Another Dreamer’s haunting and nerve-wracking post this week, And Yet-. She writes with such clarity about the reality – the fragility – of her pregnancy. Everyone around her of course assumes the best, but she words her worries with such painful honesty: “Not because it’s amazing, or this is “finally” happening… but because this can end. Because all the others ended. Because I can never share in their naitivity. Because it hurts, their joy hurts, their assumptions hurt. People talking about pregnancy has been hard on me for a long time, who’d have thought that conversations about my own pregnancy would be so hard for me too?”

Go give it a read and send her a little love.

11 a { 05.13.11 at 9:42 pm }

You really need to get used to people getting older, because there’s just no way to stop it. 🙂 I, however, am on the opposite side of the street from you – I’m sad that my girl is not due to go to kindergarten for another year because she’ll be losing most of her little friends. Also, she’s pretty smart, and will probably be bored either this year or when she gets to kindergarten. Sigh.

I haven’t watched this one yet, but I love her take on things, and I suspect this will be an interesting video…

12 Justine { 05.13.11 at 10:14 pm }

The thing is, even though they’re growing up, there’s so much more amazing stuff to come … so we mourn what we know, not even able to conceive of what we gain. 🙂

My son’s foot landed in my hand today (how this happened is sort of complicated and involves roughhousing and acting like a four year old, on my part), and I was shocked at how BIG it was … where were his tiny toes? But I love the sense of humor that has come with those big feet, and the creative mind that keeps me laughing and guessing every minute. 🙂

I think your scooter was a good idea. 😉

13 a { 05.13.11 at 10:20 pm }

Also, this for Jen, Mark, Olivia, and baby Ainsley


14 Mara { 05.14.11 at 7:03 am }

Thanks so much for the shout out! And thanks for all you do to highlight all of the wonderful bloggers in this community. You have introduced me to a world of friendship and sisterhood I never would have found without you. I left you an award at my blog at http://marriage20.wordpress.com/2011/05/13/thanks-and-welcome/. Thank you for all you do for our community!

15 Heather { 05.15.11 at 1:37 pm }

I honestly haven’t been reading too much…which is bad, because I use reading other’s stuff as an escape from my world. I’m just having a really hard time lately…I’m IF and we’ve adopted. Only the son we adopted, is really sick. So what happens next? (I’m just ranting here because I don’t feel like being passive aggressive on FB! LOL)>

When I read something awesome, I’ll let you know. Smooch

16 Colleen { 05.15.11 at 4:04 pm }

If it helps at all the hugging and kissing continues until 10.5 – 11 years of age. It is about that point that my older kids stopped saying I was the best and most beautiful mom in the world, and wanting a hug and kiss upon waking each morning and after nap time. Still it would look weird if my surly 14 year older decided to end an argument with a hug. The attachment parenting pays off though, because after she cools off she does come up to me, say she’s sorry, and gives me a big hug.

17 Baby Smiling In Back Seat { 05.25.11 at 1:52 am }

I was out of town and meant to come back sooner and thank you for the shout out, then thought I’d already done it but obviously hadn’t. So thank you.

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