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Does This Blog Name Make My Content Look Weird?*

NPR’s Fresh Air recently re-aired an old interview with the Beastie Boys to go with the most formal review of Hot Sauce Committee Part Two in the world (“my favourite couplet goes…”).  They were asked if they knew when they started out that they would still be together 25 years later.

They responded:

Mr. YAUCH: You know, I think if we knew that the band was going to be around for this long, we probably would’ve thought of a better name.

Mr. HOROWITZ: Yeah, that’s true.

GROSS: How did you think of the name?

Mr. HOROWITZ: I had nothing to do with it. This is Adam Horowitz.

Mr. YAUCH: It just seemed like it was a funny idea at the time. It was literally like we thought we were probably just going to play a handful of gigs. You know, all our friends were in bands. Everybody was in bands. You just, like, used to throw together a band and like write a couple songs, play a couple shows, and you’re done.

I loved the response because I often ask when the Beastie Boys will become Beastie Men.  It’s a side trip off the constant argument about content, which was covered in this interview too.  Gross asked them about how they changed from punk band to hip hop, and the difference between Licensed to Ill and Paul’s Boutique.  And they said that with each change, people got weeded out (though you must listen to the whole interview to get their amusing take on the multiple ways “weeded out” is used).

Blogs have to change in content.  They must because their writers don’t remain the same person indefinitely.  We go through different life stages; we grow, we change.  What’s important to me right now will be very different from what is important to me in 2016.  At least, I hope.

I’ve said this dozens of times before, but I think all people should think of themselves as general diarists and then make their content reflect their life.  Reflect what is in the forefront of their mind at the moment, rather than start a new blog for each new stage of life/idea.  I know others describe me as an infertility blogger, and that’s fine if that’s how they need to define me.  I define myself as a general diarist who happens to write about infertility because its a lens through which I see the world.

Though I have this really infertility-related blog name.

When I started out, I wrote about infertility a certain percentage of the time.  I have yet to do a scientific breakdown of my blog, but I probably wrote about infertility 40% of the time in the beginning if you count the Roundup and such.  Right now, I probably write about infertility… 40% of the time.  Nothing has changed, and yet, I sometimes think about that blog name — Stirrup Queens.  It clearly states what you’re going to find here: a whole lot of vagina.  But it also dismisses that other 60% of content that has been here since the beginning: reflections on community, on pop culture, on the twins, on blogging itself, on writing.

I have a feeling more than one person is nodding along because they also wonder about their blog name.  When you come up with a name for your blog, it fits you at the time.  It perfectly sums up what is happening in your life, the subject matter of the space.  And then life changes and you continue writing, and suddenly, this perfect blog name no longer fits your content.  Because it can’t fit your content.  Because people aren’t static, we are constantly in flux.

I was thinking about this because I came up with the most perfect new blog name.  It came from a conversation with the ChickieNob, and that, in and of itself makes it feel special to me.  It’s a name that brings together infertility with parenting after infertility.  That plays with the idea of word definitions.  It is just a good, solid, general diarist sort of name.**

And yet, how could I ever change the name Stirrup Queens?  It has an emotional history for me.  It’s a part of who I am.  I couldn’t imagine letting it go even if it means making space for this new, better name.

I’ve thought about changing the name and still listing “the blog formerly known as Stirrup Queens” in the header.  The reality is that the url would remain the same, so stirrup-queens.com would still be how you’d find me.  But then I open my blog to read an old post, and I see that name at the top and I think, “that’s my name.  That’s just the way it is.  How could I change it?”

After all, there are our personal names — our name names, for instance, Melissa — which we are expected to have fit us indefinitely.  Nicknames may come and go, but people rarely change their first name (not that it never happens, but it’s rare).  No matter how bored they become with the sound.  Even if their name doesn’t fit their personality.

Because I’m Melissa just as much as I’m Stirrup Queens.

I’m not sure where I stand on this.  I’ve seen people move from one title to the next with great happiness (think: Cecily changing to Uppercase Woman — do you remember the original name by this point?  I do, but the point is that she quickly inhabited this new name) so I know it’s possible.  It would be a small change since the blog url would remain the same.  Since the name Stirrup Queens would still be woven into the blogroll.  People would most likely always use both names — I couldn’t see Stirrup Queens disappearing altogether.

And yet.

Your thoughts? (Taking into account that no one likes change) And do you like your blog’s name or do you wish it were something different?

*My goal for the title was to mimic the refrain: “do these pants make my ass look weird?” And then realized right before posting it that people might not make that connection.

**I would say the name, but I don’t want feedback on the name.  I mean, I’m set on the name — if I changed it, this would be it.  So I don’t want it to become a comparison, an “I like Stirrup Queens better than that.”


1 Amy Elaine { 05.11.11 at 12:38 pm }

Go for it!!!!!!!

2 serenity { 05.11.11 at 12:43 pm }

I will caveat this comment with this: when I follow a blogger to a new space, over time, I forget the initial blog name. I read two bloggers that have changed their names and I have to REMIND myself that they were someone else. Not important to me in the here and now as a reader.

But I actually don’t see “Stirrup Queens” as being infertility-focused. Because if you’re fertile? You put your feet in the stirrups yearly for your annual GYN exam. Therefore I see it as more of a general female focus.

Vagina, yes. But not infertile vagina.

For my own blog? I’m fortunate that I stumbled upon a catchphrase for family building from my Seinfeld obession, before we really KNEW we were infertile. It seems to be applicable in all facets of my life even 6 years later. I just got lucky, though. 🙂

3 HereWeGoAJen { 05.11.11 at 12:45 pm }

Ah, I don’t like change. Sometimes change is necessary to grow though. And in the bottom line is, no matter how much your blog is about community, it is YOUR blog and your space. So, Mel, I will be happy with whatever you call this space.

I like my blog name. And when I chose it, I thought forward and tried to think of all the possible situations and how the name would feel in all of them. The only thing that I dislike is that it was common enough that I couldn’t get the url for Here We Go Again and had to use jen instead.

4 Lacie { 05.11.11 at 12:48 pm }

We all know and love you. We will support you in a name change. That’s they way I see it. You will still be you, but you will be owning your own evolution. I like it.

I actually held off on starting up a blog until I had the perfect name. I didn’t want to have the name related to infertility, or my LONG road to motherhood. I figured if I had a crystal ball, I’d see kids in my future. Kids have always been a part of my life and always will be. It was positive thinking on my part. However, nobody knows that Pollywogs are actually kids in my world, and I chose my blog’s name from a childhood memory that will always be dear to my heart. In other words, I ain’t changin.’

5 Searching for Serenity { 05.11.11 at 12:52 pm }

You are the Queen, so you can do whatever you want!

6 Sharon { 05.11.11 at 1:03 pm }

I will still read your blog, regardless of its name, so it’s all the same to me. (Though I would echo a previous poster who said that “Stirrup Queens” seems more female to me than just infertile female.)

I like my blog name, and I started the blog specifically to write about my struggle to get pregnant (now known as infertility). If/when I stop dealing with IF, I fully intend to either stop blogging altogether or to do it elsewhere.

7 twangy { 05.11.11 at 1:16 pm }

Twangypearl the Elastic Girl? What WAS I thinking?
I like that it refers to a comic character, has a nostalgic value and is goofy – but, it works less well when I am commenting on a sad event in someone’s life. Then, yes, I wish I had a more neutral pseudonym. I could be TP, if that wasn’t what people write on shopping lists for toilet paper. Hmm.

As for your blog name, I think change can be good – up the (r)evolution. Go for it. We’ll always have our memories. 🙂

8 Denver Laura { 05.11.11 at 1:18 pm }

Change it if it fits. Just becuase I still have my size 6 jeans doesn’t mean I can still stuff myself in them.

I had a similar issue with my website. It’s about 90% about foster care now, which has nothing to do with fertility, at least MY fertility or lack thereof. I toyed with creating a second blog but figured it was just a name, it wasn’t going to change the content. If somebody reads one or two recent posts they’ll get the gist of it and decide to continue reading, follow, or just move on. What is it they say, “A rose by any other name…”

9 Audrey { 05.11.11 at 1:25 pm }

I actually did change my blog name to this from something previously. The old name was too tied to documenting my pregnancy. I didn’t want it to just be about my child..I wanted it to be about my current life. I can’t say that I was all that enthusiastic about the new name, but I’ve grown to love it.

10 Kymberli { 05.11.11 at 1:34 pm }

Even though I view your blog as something of the North Pole of the online infertility community, I don’t think of you or this space as being *defined* by inferility. I hope that makes sense. I didn’t “feel” much of a switch in who you are or how you defined yourself when “the Town Criers” morphed into “Lollipop Goldstein.” I don’t think I would feel any bit of a switch if you changed your blog name, either. I like watching how people grown and shift and become more comfortable outwardly with how they feel they are changing inwardly.

I like my blog name (I’m a Smart One). It is only my tagline that defines it as anywhere remotely related to infertility, and a tagline is much more flexible than an overall title. However, on a personal level, what you wrote in the first part about a blogger’s audience being “weeded out” happens naturally because the writer’s focus and perspective changes over time, if they manage to stick it out and write through the changes in the same place instead of closing shop and starting over elsewhere. I feel like I’m in this place right now. There won’t be any surrogacy journeys to write about and as such, I’ve felt that I don’t have quite as much to say that is directly related to infertility. I think I’m working on feeling comfortable again in my space – and in my life in general – now that surrogacy isn’t the driving force behind what I write and what my personal endeavors are. I can’t help but wonder who I’ll lose as readers in the process.

11 a { 05.11.11 at 2:05 pm }

I don’t mind change. I suggest that if you’re still attached to Stirrup Queens, you could migrate it over to be more the title of LFCA – because that’s where another 50% of your infertility writing goes. But if you have the perfect name, you should probably use it somewhere.

I like my blog name well enough. Are you kidding me is something I say frequently enough for it to fit me forever. Plus it applies well to my blogging – I’m usually complaining about something I consider unreasonable.

12 Esperanza { 05.11.11 at 2:18 pm }

Hmm. This is a hard question. I feel like one thing you may not be taking into account is every else (besides actual posts) that your blog has to offer. For about a year I thought your blog was just a place to find the Blogroll and ICLW and Creme de la Creme and the Round Up. I didn’t actually read your posts forever, I think I didn’t even know you posted for a long time. So those aspects of your blog, the community based aspects, are really ALI/IF related and maybe that is reason enough to keep your name, even if the actual post content is only 40% infertility related.

I did change the name of my blog at some point, after my daughter was born. It actually would have been a very appropriate name before too and I LOVE my new name (Stumbling Gracefully). Neither titles were in my url though, so that made it a lot easier. I had a hard time naming my new blog (Second Hand Happiness) and I ended up choosing a name (and url) that ended up only encompassing one aspect of my new project. While not buying anything new for a year is part of it, simplifying my life is another huge part of it. Getting rid of stuff is as big a part of my blog as not getting new stuff and (only finding things used when I need to – hence the title). And that is not reflected in my title and I’m kind of bummed about that. But I paid for the name so I gotta stick with it! 😉

Good luck trying to figure out how to handle your own blog title. I for one, cannot imagine it having another name. That title is an institution of sorts and that can be a priceless commodity. Of course, it’s your blog and you should do what you want with it. And it’s funny you say people hate change, and yet PR companies are always changing the packaging of things, saying you have to to attract new people. Of course “Same great flavor” or whatever is still plastered all over the new design. I never understood that reasoning. Having said that, I do admit I’m a sucker for packaging and will buy hair products if they come in a cool bottle. So maybe I’m not one to talk.

13 electriclady { 05.11.11 at 2:27 pm }

Even though my blog was explicitly 99% infertility from the start, and even now is still about 90% infertility depending on whether I’m cycling or not, I deliberately chose a blog title and handle that was not IF-related. I wanted to give myself the freedom to write about other things if I wanted…plus I just felt kind of silly using an egg or vagina-related name (no knock on my many beloved blog friends who do use such names!). (Uh, not that my current handle is any less silly, I suppose.)

I guess I just didn’t want my whole online identity to be about being infertile, even if the blog content was. I feel like I identify just as much as a big city dweller as I do an infertile. And I knew it was a name I could use forever, no matter where my fertility “journey” (ugh) eventually took me. Unless of course I leave the city. Then I’ll have to go the same route as BrooklynGirl, I guess.

14 HairyFarmerWifey { 05.11.11 at 2:29 pm }

Absolutely! I chose my blogname simply because it was our family nickname, but as my husband became rapidly disenchanted with content of said blog, it became a bit of a misnomer and there is little family info on there these days. It now feels incongrous having a blog which essentially labels me as a subjunct to my husband!

15 Stimey { 05.11.11 at 2:33 pm }

I wonder this a lot about blogs named after a kid and then the parent has another kid. I was very haphazard when I named my blog, but it worked out really well for me because it is so general, but is specific to me.

For you, you are definitely very well known by your blog name, so I think there would be people who would balk at a change, but I also think they would get used to it. Also, it’s your blog, so you should do what you want. I think it is very natural to want to change your blog name as you evolve. I’m so curious to hear the maybe new name!

16 loribeth { 05.11.11 at 2:42 pm }

OK, I’ll admit, I have a tough time with change. And I’ve always loved “Stirrup Queens.” I thought it was just brilliant. And the fact that you called it Queens (plural) made it inclusive of all of us in the community, which is what you are all about, even though most people (myself included) would consider you THE Stirrup Queen. The fact that you only actually write about infertility 40% of the time under that banner doesn’t bother me in the least.

Also, while I cringe when people talk about brands & “branding,” Stirrup Queens is certainly a well-known “brand” in the infertility & blogging communities, and tampering with the nuts & bolts of any well-established brand is something that should be done with great caution. Something like Starbucks changing its cup design & dropping “coffee” from its logo — well, that’s more about cosmetics. A name is a lot harder to change, because the old name still persists. I’m thinking of Prince, who morphed into an unpronounceable symbol, became known as “The Artist Formerly Known as Prince,” & eventually just went back to plain ol’ Prince again. Another example: When we moved to the suburb where we live now, we shopped at a grocery store/chain called Loeb. Loeb was eventually sold & became part of an “independent grocer” chain. It has changed hands & names at least three times since then, but dh & I persist in calling it “Loeb” to this day (maybe because it’s changed names so often we can never remember what the heck it’s called now).

But of course, I will continue to read whatever you write, no matter what title is in the nameplate. : ) I’m sure whatever alternate title you’ve thought up is also wonderful.

P.S. I still think my own blog name fits just fine — no plans to change it!

17 geochick { 05.11.11 at 2:54 pm }

I’m curious about a potential new name too. I have to admit I originally thought of your blog as an infertility blog because of the name. Whatever you call yourself, I’ll still follow. I purposely chose a name that defines the “work me” because I have to own up to the fact that I really define myself by my academic accomplishment. It was also forward thinking since I started it when we were going thru the homestudy. One of these days I’ll be bitching about something other than how damn long this wait is.

18 Empty Whole { 05.11.11 at 3:04 pm }

When I was picking the name for my blog I wanted “EmptyHole.blog…” it wasn’t available so I changed my “hole” to “whole”. The “hole” felt real, this big gaping hole in my heart/life/everything/etc.

I originally did title my blog “Empty Hole”, but as I went through the process, It clicked that “Whole” was more appropriate. I was trying to fill the emptiness with a wholeness. I’m now very happy the my first URL choice wasn’t there, it feels more appropriate and more me.

I’ve kept a few other blogs, but I’ve treated each of those as chapters in my life. Those were more for giving out information to a group of people and once that period of my life was done, I needed to be done, so I stopped logging in. They’re still there if I wanted to see them, but I’ve moved on.

I think it’s best to move one when you need to.

19 kateanon { 05.11.11 at 3:31 pm }

When I was infertile, not inferior, and then decided I needed to change that, I was sold. My blog was no longer all about IF and treatment. It was about me, my thoughts, my life, my experiences.

I forgot that in changing my name, I was less visible on the internet. What was a specific blog name became a generic first name. My posts on that blog weren’t ALL related to IF, but it seemed the IF community ran quickly after the name change. It could have been the change in tone, or content, but I believe a large part was in name, and no longer being able to search for that name.

Change is difficult for some people, so they may not follow a name change well.

20 tash { 05.11.11 at 3:47 pm }

Uppercase? Wasted Birth Control. I’ve been on the internet far, far too long.

I guess I often thought when my title no longer fit, it wasn’t time to change it, it was probably time to stop writing. I’ve thought about that often.

I guess although I love you for the IF work you do personally, and for everyone else, that I think of you as much more than an IF blog. I’m sure others do to. So sometimes I don’t make an association with the name, but I think that’s fine.

21 Keiko { 05.11.11 at 4:01 pm }

I’m a firm believer in going for a name that fits YOU and who YOU are. When I changed my name after I got married, it was a big deal to me. See, I didn’t just change my last name, like most folks. I actually legally changed my first name. Little known fact: my first name wasn’t Keiko – it was Christina. But since I looked just so darn Asian when I was born, I went by my middle name all of my life. While shifting all my names over and tacking on my husband’s name as my new last name, I remember struggling and seeking my parents’ approval (that they gave wholeheartedly) because they named me, but truly it was me who claimed my name, if that makes sense.

So Stirrup Queen or not, own your name, whatever it may be.

On a related note – I struggle with my blog name. Um, it’s long. Really long. But at this point, that’s the name I’m known by so making the change is a struggle for me. I don’t know what the best course of action is at this point, but I gotta do something b/c damn, it’s a mouthful.

22 Carrie { 05.11.11 at 4:06 pm }

I changed my name and location, and I am much happier with the change. I now believe my blog title will fit me for a much longer time, and that is what I would rather have a title that can go through it all, it doesn’t mean the past isn’t there, it’s just not in your face as a constant reminder.

23 JustHeather { 05.11.11 at 4:29 pm }

I JUST mentioned this topic on my blog last night! I started my blog in 2008 with a totally different idea in mind and not quite who I am today. As time has progressed, my posts have become more about IF and how my life is effected by it. (I had no idea it would be like this when I started.) Yet, my life isn’t soley dictated by IF, nor by my living in Finland… I think for me it is time for a name change.

Sometimes, even if we don’t like change nor want it, it is necessary. And being human, we will adapt.

24 T { 05.11.11 at 4:37 pm }

I started out as Journey to Mommyhood…I began my blog to log what the title truly meant. I didn’t plan to talk about anything else. Yet, when I reached the end of the journey (though not the end of family-building), I couldn’t really leave my space. I thought about changing it to THRU instead of TO, yet it still didn’t fit. I was now blogging about life as a wife, mother, dreamer, medic, DIL, etc., etc. I even went private.

Now, I’ve started a new blog, public again, with a new name that seems to encompass who I really am all about. It will still include IF, but I imagine myself of being more than infertile, so I’m grabbing life and going for it:)

I think I will always think of you as Stirrup Queens. It’s one of the first places I discovered when I was looking for other IF-ers. It’s a place that feels homey & familiar…but in the end, it is YOUR place and you should do what you want. We’ll still be here, vaginas and all:-)

25 jjiraffe { 05.11.11 at 4:54 pm }

I’ll put my PR hat on for this one, because weirdly, I was just talking to my husband about this very topic. His company changed names and it isn’t going super well.

We used to advice our clients to never change their names unless there was a crisis that seriously made people hate you: like, your dog food was associated with killing horses (a la Mad Men) or you were Enron.
Brand recognition is built over time and consumers build trust with brands. Once names are changed, they get confused and don’t remember why they liked your company and/or product in the first place.

And I think this is true for the vast majority of bloggers too. Most bloggers have under 100 followers. These followers know them as x, and when a new name pops up in the reader, it’s very confusing. I have seen a few smaller bloggers change their names and they have really struggled to build up their followings again.

Then there’s the people at the top (like Pioneer Woman, Dooce, Uppercase Woman, Nie Nie and you) who have very strong followings. You ARE brand names in the blogging world. Uppercase Woman was able to successfully change her name. I don’t think it would work for Pioneer Woman or Dooce, who have whole businesses built around their blogging names.

I think you could do it, since you have a number of other community names (like LFCA and IComLeaveWe) and you work with other groups like BlogHer under your real name. There would probably be growing pains around it, but I think you’d do fine.

So that’s my two cents… 🙂

26 edenland { 05.11.11 at 5:15 pm }

Do it. I predict you’ll feel all shiny and new, and it will probably affect your writing. (In a good way!)

27 BigP's Heather { 05.11.11 at 6:04 pm }

While I don’t LOVE my blog name (because it is so unoriginal) it still fits because it is still about my life with BigP but just includes more now….more than just our cycles.

I don’t care for change. Which is why I stuck with blogspot for so long and my blog name.

28 Pam/Wordgirl { 05.11.11 at 7:48 pm }

SO weird — (not the idea of changing the blog name) but the fact that just today I thought to myself “I wonder if Melissa ever feels like James Taylor in concert when they’re yelling out “Fire and Rain” over and over and he just wants to pull out some new stuff… appropo of what I’m not sure — I was just thinking how varied and interesting your topics are — and had been laughing and nodding along with the scooter story — and just thinking about blog evolutions — and I wondered this very thing –if you felt tied to the IF content — and if it felt limiting in any way….

Seriously that mind-link thing — even when I don’t comment very often …wweeeeiiiiiirrrddd….. but in a totally good way…



And I second the change — go with your heart — your gut instinct, your first instinct about it.

29 Justine { 05.11.11 at 8:35 pm }

I love my blog name. It suggests so many things about me … infertility, loss, baking, and progress or growth. What I worry about is actually changing the content, despite the fact that the name remains the same, and that the name allows me to be a “general diarist” of sorts, I guess.

I like who you are, but then again, you need to claim that identity, and if for some reason something else fits better, go for it. After all, that’s what the internet has made possible, hasn’t it? The ability to assume new identities that fit us even better than the ones we were given or chose when we were too young to know what we were doing?

30 Baby Smiling In Back Seat { 05.11.11 at 10:20 pm }

I specifically chose my blog name to be applicable both during infertility and (I hoped) beyond. It is a fantastic name. Esoteric and frequently not said right, but still fantastic. The names of my other blogs are also fantastic and esoteric.

Someone who can’t appreciate an esoteric name isn’t going to stick around long as my reader anyway.

You should do whatever you want — though I do love Stirrup Queens and agree with Loribeth that by making it plural, it feels like you’re including everyone. And inclusion is very Mel, so it’s even more perfect.

31 aisha { 05.11.11 at 11:08 pm }

I read Cecily avidly when she was “And I wasted all that birth control” and I read her avidly now. My blog is my name and I change the title over the years from “teacher” to “law student” etc etc as who I am evolves. I vote for you to make this a blog about Melissa Ford with that as your blog name. The reason is because you are an author and this can serve as your blogging/ and author space- I mean it already does, but it will make it even easier for people to find you and for you to be a diarist, which I agree, is the best way to approach blogging.

32 aisha { 05.11.11 at 11:08 pm }

And my suggestion is just a suggestion, lol, whatever you decide I’m sure it will be the right decision for you! 🙂

33 Annie { 05.11.11 at 11:52 pm }

I think your current name is fantastic, but since yours is in the small minority of blogs that is large and survives long-term I can see why a name change is appealing. Of course your content will shift a great deal over time. I mean, how much infertility blogging to you imagine you’ll do five years from now? Or more? Still, Stirrup Queens is a well-known gathering place – maybe you could keep it as the main name and still use the new name on part of your site initially and then reevaluate a little down the road.

As for my blog name, it was an inspiration and fits my situation so perfectly – Cradles and Graves. I never aspired to popularity or long-term blogging, so when this part of my life ends (hopefully with a cradle in August!) so will the blog. My purpose was always to create a resource for others who find themselves in a similar situation, so the blog will stay up so people can always contact me.

34 Aunt Misfit { 05.12.11 at 12:11 am }

I put some thought into my blog name. As much as my infertility defines me, I didn’t want to be defined by my infertility. I am also a big fan of change, and letting yourself evolve. Stirrup Queens was your cocoon, and yet-to-be named blog will be your signal to spread more wings. Either way, I’ll be keeping up and reading along.

35 Meim { 05.12.11 at 12:44 am }

Personally, when I read “Stirrup Queens” it doesn’t just speak of infertility for me. It can be read as such a play on words. It has a air of triumph to it. To be a queen is a powerful position to be in. A place of superiority and control. It speaks of the triumph over the stirrups as well as telling of the history.

And yet, I can totally understand wanting to change the name. It’s not just the name, but he place you are in when you came up with it. Either way, I say go what feels right for you. The rest of us will adjust and continue to love you just the same.

As for my blog name – it will never change. Tears are for babies. Happy tears, sad tears, frustrated tears… it all still fits, and it’s a tribute to determination. I would never have come to the place I am at without all the tears along the way.

36 Carla { 05.12.11 at 8:43 am }

Oooohh, this is a tough one. I really don’t think of yours as an infertility blog, the name just reminds me that it was through the IF community that most of us found you. But I do love the name, and as someone else said, I love the fact that you made it plural (Queens)–we can all relate, and it makes us feel included!

It is almost like when a much loved television series annouces that it is going off the air. We are all sad and ask why—the show is a huge hit, the actors are making a ton of money, why would they want to stop? But we forget that the actors have been playing those characters for X number of years, and they are probably tired of those roles, have outgrown them somewhat, and are ready to try new things and hopefully go on to something greater.

So, while I love SQ and would miss it, I will certainly keep reading no matter what name you choose. I guess I’d say incorporate both names in your title for a while and gradually transition to just the new one.

37 Keiko { 05.12.11 at 10:33 am }

Another 2 cents: I will say, your blog name stands out from lots of other bloggers, infertility or otherwise. It’s got pop to it. It certainly makes you recognizable, at least in my mind. Stirrup Queens = Mel. Bam. Just like that. So… take that as you will 🙂

38 quintain { 05.12.11 at 3:56 pm }

I realize I’m waaay in the minority here, but I would very much welcome a name change. Though I love your blog, I’ve never really liked the name Stirrup Queens. Sorry, but I’m being brutally honest here.

Without even considering the IF/non-IF split, it’s always seemed a bit too cutesy (with a bit of an underlying rodeo vibe, based on the “stirrups” part), like one of those zillion and one infertility blogs called something like Eggs Ova Not So Easy (which I don’t think is a real blog, but anyway).

Basically, the title doesn’t seem as, well, smart or compassionate or thoughtful as the blog itself.

I was really glad when you got rid of the “sperm palace jesters” part of the title. Or maybe that was the subtitle.

39 Queenie { 05.12.11 at 6:23 pm }

I like “Stirrup Queens.” It’s clever and irreverent and fun. No one will ever confuse you with another blogger. That said, the phoenix can’t rise from the ashes if nothing is burned.

40 Calliope { 05.12.11 at 7:09 pm }

I changed my blog name. I mean not technically, but yes…technically. My blog was originally “Erstellen Mutterschaft” and when I moved from blogger to wordpress I changed it. Granted I changed it to be a translated version of that – but still…

I wish that I didn’t have “motherhood” in my blog title some days. I think this is because I don’t feel like I fit in with the “Mom bloggers”.

But as long as I can change the physical look of my blog I do ok with the name as it is.

I think if you have the perfect name then it will BE perfect. Just don’t change the name to “I love cilantro” and we’ll be cool…

41 It Is What It Is { 05.13.11 at 12:09 pm }

First, let me say that in the land of IF your blog is a brand. So, I think you need to consider that and its ramifications. It has become almost like your last name, “Mel Stirrup Queens”.

Beyond that, though, you will be you regardless of what you call your blog. You have built a Stirrup Queens following that will find you no matter where you go (and with the same url or a new one wherein your old because a phantom redirector).

I love and embrace change. It validates, in most cases, that we’ve grown or are growing. I don’t like change for change’s sake, but if you want that your blog name should reflect an evolutionary arc you are living, then change away.

My blog name reflects something I say nearly daily (or something someone says to me), “well, it is what it is”). But complacency does me in, so often times I will think, “or is it?”. Life is about change, even if it’s just a change in how we look at things.

Can’t wait to see what you decide to do.

42 Kir { 05.13.11 at 12:10 pm }

I’ll love you no matter what your name is.

love ,
Penelope Sunshine. 😉

43 Kate (Bee In The Bonnet) { 05.13.11 at 3:22 pm }

I think that’s why I chose the name “Bee In The Bonnet” because no matter what happens, I think I’ll always have a bee in my bonnet about *something*. Maybe that bee will look like baby-thoughts. Maybe it will look like husband stuff, or work stuff or identity stuff, but there will always be something buzzing around in my bonnet that needs to be written about.

And it’s weird, because while I cannot separate you from the infertility blogosphere, I don’t ever really think of you as an infertility blogger. I think of you as someone who blogs about blogging about infertility. I think of you as someone who blogs about many other issues, too, but as for infertility is concerned, it seems like (as with many people who keep blogging about parenting after infertility) that the impact of infertility is just a given. You don’t write about cycling, you don’t often write about future family plans, you don’t write about the way infertility hits your life (at least not as often as many other topics)– it’s just this hum in the background, a given in your life. However, it would be totally untrue to say that you DON’T blog about infertility, because you do so much to connect others, to share others’ stories and struggles, to organize, to community-build. And you blog about your ART-produced kiddos, so it’s just simply impossible to really tease it all out.

All the same, I guess what I mean is that while you may no longer be riding the stirrups yourself, you do a lot for all of us who have also been in the stirrups, regardless of where we are on our infertility journey. So yeah. Stirrup Queens fits, even though in my head, I think of you more often as a separate type of blogger from those on my Reader list who I deem “infertility” bloggers. You’re just so much more than an infertility story, I guess.

44 Kathy { 05.13.11 at 3:56 pm }

Very interesting Mel! I can totally appreciate you considering changing your name. I also really enjoyed reading everyone’s opinion on the matter. The brand thing is worth considering, but ultimately I think we all will continue to follow and support you no matter what.

Though my blog is much smaller in scope and following, as you know I did change my name after we had Abby from “Three of a kind working on a full house…” to “Four of Kind.” With the change I kept the same playing cards hand theme, but adapted it to reflect our family at the time. I also added the tagline “… with our Queen of Hearts in Heaven,” after Molly died.

Anyway, I don’t think change is a bad thing. I believe that our blogs evolve (as do our lives) and if you are excited about your new idea for a name it is worth considering.

I have a couple of names in my head that I would use if I were starting over now, but it is unlikely that I will use them at this point. Maybe for something else in my life some day that needs a title?! 😉

Best wishes as you discern this. I look forward to finding out what you decide and if you choose to share, the new name! 🙂

45 Deathstar { 05.13.11 at 5:56 pm }

I chose A Woman My Age because the phrase I kept hearing over and over in doctors’ offices was “well…a woman your age….” because my age was apparently THE issue in terms of my fertility or lack thereof. Now years later, I’m still using it because it’s still an issue in terms of adoption, in terms of my career (or lack thereof), in terms of my marriage, etc. If you remain Stirrup Queens or not, it’s up to you. Being in the stirrups was where most of us spent an incredible amount of time, and frankly, I didn’t like it then and I don’t like now. Spreadeagled with my fatty bits exposed – for no money I might add – I surely deserve a crown.

46 katedaphne { 05.13.11 at 7:00 pm }

Interesting questions. I’ve sort of put my blog on hiatus, but I think the name would stand up for anything in life I want to come back and write about. As for first names — I did change mine! I never liked mine or felt that it fit me; when people said it I always had this weird sense that they were talking to someone else. Now only my dad uses that name (and my brother, tho he just does it to be a jerk).

As for you, I agree Stirrup Queens can be general female focus, not just infertility. But if you feel you need to evolve to a new name, I say go for it. We all have many personas inside us, go ahead and let a different shine for a while if you want!

47 Farah { 05.15.11 at 12:58 am }

I changed my blog name recently. I had to. I felt like it needed to be changed in order for me to be able to share and blog in a new direction. Granted, I was on a sabbatical and came back to Change the Title. I needed a new, name for me in order to free my blogging.

I say Go with what you think it best

48 Roccie { 05.15.11 at 8:06 am }

I feel like I just grew up a little reading this post. I didnt realize I had you in a little box – lined with velvet for sure, but I had you “defined”.

It is one of the most clever blog titles out there. I will always hold it dearly.

I cannot wait to hear the new one, should it debut….

49 luna { 05.15.11 at 6:49 pm }

chiming in a little late: I chose my name “life from here: musings from the edge” because I wanted it to be broad enough to cover whatever I wrote about. I knew I wouldn’t be doing fertility treatments forever, and honestly I had NO idea what would come next (childlessness? more loss? motherhood? adoption? or something else entirely different). the name captured the present moment and uncertainty of the future — which is what I was going for. still, my tag underneath captures more of what I tend to write about now — i.e., parenting through open adoption after infertility and loss. if I wrote more often these days, I might cover some other subjects.

I’d love to hear your new name, even if you don’t use it. but I understand your reasoning, which is why we never told anyone our chosen name for our daughter before she was born (other than her birthmom, who had final approval).

50 Anna { 05.16.11 at 5:00 am }

Also late to the party, I’m excited about the possible new name. On one hand, I might not have got here without ‘Stirrup Queens’, literally and metaphorically. I love that name. As everybody has confirmed, however, so much of this place is you and if you’re ready for a change then I’m all for it, like a big change-haircut (though I did cry when my Dad shaved off his beard for charity), if it fits you better then it will resonate with us too.

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