At the end of the week, the book will be in bookstores. And right now, if you order it online, they’ll send it to you. There are people holding my book right now. This whole thing, frankly, is pretty surreal. I mean, I remember sitting around in my MFA lounge (wearing the ever-stylish ripped jeans over long underwear, a look that should definitely be brought back for an encore) thinking about how when I’m older, I’ll publish a book or two and…

Well, this is nothing like I thought it would be.

It feels a little bit like I’m about to embark on an overseas trip and I’m racing towards the airport feeling a little discombobulated, and a little unsure of where I’m staying once I get there, and only knowing three words in the native language (and one of those words is “peanuts” which probably won’t be something I need to use at all). I am patting my bags and trying to remember where or if I have my passport (one time, when going to Norway, I didn’t and had to go all the way back home to get it). And I’ve forgotten my camera and I’m really upset about that but I’ve remembered to pack my journal.

That’s a little bit what it’s like.

Actually, you know what it feels like? At my Hebrew school graduation, I wore this new white skort–see, I’ve always been highly fashionable–and it was too big, but we didn’t have time to fix it so my mum pinned it on the side. As I was running down the aisle to join my classmates in our group picture in the sanctuary before the graduation ceremony, my skort fell off. As in, the pin snapped, the skort fell, and I stood in the aisle in my silky navy blue top with my skort around my ankles laughing while the rabbi flipped the fuck out. He literally didn’t know what to do with himself. And what the book coming out feels like is if you could combine the discombobulated discomfort and anxiety of the rabbi with my fifteen-year-old, very embarrassed but laughing self, you’d get a good approximation of how this week feels.

I am eternally grateful to everyone who has mentioned that they’ve already ordered a copy or are planning to read it. I hope I did the community proud. I do have one reading set up in DC for July, but I should know more of a touring schedule by mid-June. I hope to come to a lot of cities to give readings so I can meet everyone. I am a whore for meeting other bloggers. So I will post all of that information once it is cemented.

If you want to help, there is something you can do without even reading the book (though…um…please read the book and tell me what you think). You can place a badge on your sidebar, email it out to friends and family, or even send it along to your local Resolve or clinic. You can get the code for the badge right here. Simply cut and paste and voila, news of the book is out there. If you do put up the badge, please let me know because I don’t want to miss thanking anyone. I’ve been keeping a haphazard list, but I’m always worried that there are things I read about and then forget to write down.

Another thing you can do is add a review online–either on your blog or on the Amazon site or (even better) in both places at the same time. It makes a big difference to have a blurb from your blog post up on the Amazon site. I’m not sure why, but I’ve been told this enough times that I believe it and am passing on this idea as gospel. Again, you do not need to write a second original post; it can be a blurb from your blog post.

I’ve decided to spread out the thanking because…well…there’s a lot of thanking to do.

So the ones I’m doing today are Lori from Weebles Wobblog who designed a badge (and Kristen from Dragondreamer’s Lair who helped her with the code). She has been cheering on the book online since January and many people have the button on their sidebar including (and I hope I didn’t miss anyone!):

I hope, hope, hope that I didn’t miss anyone and my largest apologies if I did. I first met Lori at Teaism in D.C. and it was the perfect setting. She is peace incarnate–she carries peace with it, but she induces peace in others. She is simply a beautiful person and I’m lucky to know her.

The next is Julie from A Little Pregnant who is orchestrating online activities including a giveaway and a virtual book party. Her post made me all kinds of weepy. The winners of her giveaway will be chosen this Wednesday.

And lastly, thank you to people like Dora at ISO the Golden Egg, who bought a copy for a friend (she got a copy for Kristen as a birthday present back in the winter that is being sent now) or a blog reader or someone else. And wrote about it.

More thank yous coming soon. It’s a trippy week and I’m trying to take the advice I received at my wedding to take a step back from everyone in the room and observe the scene for a moment. Josh and I had a moment where we backed ourselves into the corner by the cake and just stood and watched everyone for a full minute. And then we both said, “holy shit. We’re at our wedding.” And that’s sort of what this time period feels like too.

Barren Advice returns tomorrow from its vacation-induced vacation.

Show and Tell is wasted on elementary schoolers. Join several dozen bloggers weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class. In other words, this is Show and Tell 2.0. Everyone is welcome to join, even if you have never posted before and just found out about Show and Tell for the first time today. So yank out a photo of the worst bridesmaid’s dress you ever wore and tell us the story; show off the homemade soup you cooked last night; or tell us all about the scarf you made for your first knitting project. Details on how to participate are located at the bottom of this post.

Let’s begin.

During Pesach, before she went home, Josh’s grandmother pulled me aside to give me her crystal cake plate. She recently moved from her apartment to a senior community and didn’t have space for everything and she told me that she wanted me to have this, the reason being that cake plays a large role in our relationship.

I am not going to be able to adequately put into words how much this meant to me. I am used to being adored by my own grandmother who has known me since birth. It is quite another thing to be loved by Josh’s grandmother, who notices the small things about me (my love of baking cakes) and presents a gift that speaks volumes. She knows how much family means to me–I have certainly pestered her enough times to recount stories for me from Josh’s family so I can writes them down for the twins–and this cake plate brings with it history. A cake plate is the perfect fit–I am not a jewelry person or a clothing person. I am an old-pictures-or-serving-pieces person.

And beyond that, when she introduces us to strangers, she refers to both of us as her grandchildren. Only if the person questions everyone’s relationship does she clarify and state that Josh is her grandson and I am his wife. But until pressed, we are all her grandchildren–those that she has known since childhood and those that have married into the family–and though I started this post by calling her Josh’s grandmother, she is simply called Grandma by all of us as well, never differentiating which great-grandmother is from my family and which one comes from Josh’s side.

Here is one of those places where words fail–it means more than I can express that she has taken me as a granddaughter rather than a woman who has married her grandson. It is a small distinction, but like the gift, it speaks volumes.

When she gave me the cake plate, she told me that she wanted me to have something to remember her by which made me profoundly sad to consider that future. It is hard to live in the moment with a mind that can comprehend the future–by which we all have this problem. And I am just trying to enjoy today, which includes both the cake I baked yesterday and Grandma, visiting her at her new senior community in Pennsylvania.

What are you showing today?

Click here or scroll down to the bottom of this post if this is your first time joining along (hint: link to the permalink for the post, not the main url for your blog and use your blog’s name, not your name). The list is open from now until late Tuesday night and a new one is posted every week.

Julie from A Little Pregnant is doing a giveaway right now of Navigating the Land of If. Just in case you didn’t see and want to win a copy.

I mean, you probably did see, but in case you didn’t.

Like because you were too busy eating icing straight from the bowl instead of washing it.

Er…and not drinking water.

Not that I did any of those things today.

I hit an interesting roadblock in my attempt to lose weight without actually making any drastic changes (we’ll see how successful I am in the end), namely, one cannot drink two liters of water on the first day of their period. In fact, one cannot even drink a liter on top of her normal coffee consumption (which is a must because one cannot have a headache and cramps). By “one” I mean “me” and by “can’t” I mean that I was so bloated that I felt like all I could manage that day was to lie on my side and moan. Like this:

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

And if I wasn’t drinking water, I figured I might as well throw the whole thing out the window so I ate ice cream for three days and now I’m back at square one. Lesson learned.

My jeans actually are fitting differently. All I am doing is (1) eating healthier snacks such as apples or grapes rather than…oh…let’s say my usual chocolate chip cookie, (2) drinking two liters of water a day, (3) making sure one meal is a salad or is mostly salad, and (4) still not exercising. This non-diet, non-exercise weight loss plan takes into account that I have no time in my day, no money to take a class or join something like Weight Watchers, and am a vegetarian who loves carbs. Oh–actually, let me restate. I’m a picky vegetarian who prefers white rice to brown, yellow potatoes over sweet potatoes, and generally aims for the unhealthy choice.

I’m letting myself have a small treat in the evening. And I’m staying away from processed foods as much as possible. So I’m letting myself have all the fruits and vegetables I want and not depriving myself of my beloved carbs. And seeing if this is enough to get me down two pants sizes by the end of August. I’m guessing not. But we’ll see. I’d rather have it take longer but make me feel less unhappy. I guess that’s what this is–I’m not really willing to torture myself into eating things I don’t like to eat nor depriving myself too much, but still know that I need to do something to stop the weight gain. And so far, I’ve succeeded in making the jeans fit better.

I’m just trying to figure out the period roadblock since mine comes every 21 days…

I’d like to raise a glass to NIAW–National Infertility Awareness Week–here in the United States (and I’d like to apologize for not knowing if other countries are holding their awareness week during the same week). It’s not that this week didn’t exist prior to this point, but this year, they moved it to the spring, and frankly, it was a good choice.

Not that I don’t like my emotional support and activism sandwiched in between the start of school and Halloween, but it tastes a lot better right before Mother’s Day.

NIAW starts this Saturday (the 25th) and runs to the next Saturday (the 2nd), though there are also unrelated yet in-the-same-vein activities happening on the Web or in the face-to-face world up until May 10th.

The biggest events are being sponsored by Resolve–both national Resolve and the local chapters. It all begins with Resolve’s list of seven things you can do in seven days. They also are holding events across the country through local Resolve groups.

Focusing on the seventh item on the list, there is plenty you can do without leaving your living room to find support. If you haven’t started a blog, start one. Rachel wrote a rockin’ article about starting your own infertility-related blog. And then tell me about it so I can place it on the blogroll. Or, on that note, start reading a new blog this week. Join the forums and start a new thread asking for advice/support or set up an account on the Resolve bulletin boards or IVF Connections. If you’re on BlogHer, join the new infertility group. If you need support near Mother’s Day, join Liv who created OMG! Because You Rock Day.

So I’m raising a toast to NIAW–and doing what I can to spread word about my wonky ovaries in my tiny corner of America.

As always, it has been a little over a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life and a compliment for another blogger. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through IComLeavWe), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.