Same as the last two years, I am not writing my blog right now because I need to navigate the twins returning to college. Unlike the last two years, I didn’t aim to rerun a post from the same date, years earlier. Instead, I used a random date generator, and then took the closest post to that date, which is why you may see posts about winter in the middle of the summer.

I scheduled these posts so the blog wouldn’t be empty, and I could have space to process my feelings. A cop-out, but forgive me. Having them go is really, really hard. I need mental space to feel what I am feeling, help the kids through the transition, and sit in the quiet for a moment on the other side.

There was a recent Carolyn Hax that caught my eye, mostly because the title referenced being child-free. Except the question asker wasn’t really child-free. He was the father of a child who had died, and because his child wasn’t here, he was on the receiving end of familiar child-free comments ranging from the “you’re so lucky you don’t have kids” to the “you don’t understand” variety.

Carolyn told him to answer truthfully and respond, “‘I actually do know what it’s like’; or, ‘No, ‘lucky’ isn’t the word I’d choose.’” Which is exactly what he should do, but it made me think about why we ask for permission to tell our story.

The person who makes the comment doesn’t ask permission to make the comment. They just make an assumption and comment on the other person’s life without thinking.

Read the whole post here.

Same as the last two years, I am not writing my blog right now because I need to navigate the twins returning to college. Unlike the last two years, I didn’t aim to rerun a post from the same date, years earlier. Instead, I used a random date generator, and then took the closest post to that date, which is why you may see posts about winter in the middle of the summer.

I scheduled these posts so the blog wouldn’t be empty, and I could have space to process my feelings. A cop-out, but forgive me. Having them go is really, really hard. I need mental space to feel what I am feeling, help the kids through the transition, and sit in the quiet for a moment on the other side.

How many female animals live beyond their reproductive years?

Which animals experience menopause?

Those were my Google searches after reading NPR’s story on the grandmother hypothesis.  Because I had never given this fact consideration… at all:

Killer whales, Japanese aphids and Homo sapiens — they’re among the few organisms whose females live on long past the age of reproduction.  Since the name of the evolutionary game is survival and reproduction, the phenomenon begs explanation — why live longer than you can reproduce?

Apparently “um” is not an answer.

Read the whole post here.

Same as the last two years, I am not writing my blog right now because I need to navigate the twins returning to college. Unlike the last two years, I didn’t aim to rerun a post from the same date, years earlier. Instead, I used a random date generator, and then took the closest post to that date, which is why you may see posts about winter in the middle of the summer.

I scheduled these posts so the blog wouldn’t be empty, and I could have space to process my feelings. A cop-out, but forgive me. Having them go is really, really hard. I need mental space to feel what I am feeling, help the kids through the transition, and sit in the quiet for a moment on the other side.

I am well aware that our brain often processes things through our particular lens.

We were driving by a billboard that read something akin to this…

Oh, I thought, after all these signs advertising the hospital as a beacon for those suffering a heart attack or experiencing cancer,* I’m glad they’re also touching on pregnancy loss with this big billboard about D&Cs.

Read the whole post here.

Same as the last two years, I am not writing my blog right now because I need to navigate the twins returning to college. Unlike the last two years, I didn’t aim to rerun a post from the same date, years earlier. Instead, I used a random date generator, and then took the closest post to that date, which is why you may see posts about winter in the middle of the summer.

I scheduled these posts so the blog wouldn’t be empty, and I could have space to process my feelings. A cop-out, but forgive me. Having them go is really, really hard. I need mental space to feel what I am feeling, help the kids through the transition, and sit in the quiet for a moment on the other side.

It circles through the ALI blogosphere, after a pregnancy is achieved, after a child is adopted, after a person decides to stop treatment and live child-free, after a surrogate gives birth, after and after and after all of the afters that follow wherever place your journey began. Every blogger has a start, a place that is comfortable, a place that they know and others know them, and their blog fits snug around them.

Then the story continues, and you step away from the beginning into the next turn in the journey, and you fear that others will not be able to find you because you are no longer where you used to be. Where you started.

Read the whole post here.

Same as the last two years, I am not writing my blog right now because I need to navigate the twins returning to college. Unlike the last two years, I didn’t aim to rerun a post from the same date, years earlier. Instead, I used a random date generator, and then took the closest post to that date, which is why you may see posts about winter in the middle of the summer.

I scheduled these posts so the blog wouldn’t be empty, and I could have space to process my feelings. A cop-out, but forgive me. Having them go is really, really hard. I need mental space to feel what I am feeling, help the kids through the transition, and sit in the quiet for a moment on the other side.

Why yes, that is a human tooth inside a ring. Isn’t that what everyone has on their desk?

Wait, let’s start over.

Last week, I noticed that the ChickieNob’s tooth was loose. For whatever reason, this one milestone didn’t bother me at all. I wondered if it was the milestone itself or the fact that it is the first one we’ve hit since giving away most of our baby things. You would think I’d be more of a wreck. But I was really excited to play tooth fairy.

Read the whole post here.