I felt everything looking at this incredible photo project documenting pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and neonatal death.  Each picture features a woman and part of her story.  She’s holding a blackboard where she has written the least helpful thing she heard after her loss.  You’ve heard all of them: How many children do you have?  When are you going to have children?  You’re so lucky!  You have one of each.

It was the wrong baby.

That’s the one that started the tears.

I am someone who likes — actually needs — a lot of time alone, which isn’t to say that I don’t get lonely.  I do, especially when a social event comes with a plus-1 and I realize that I don’t have someone to bring with me who would enjoy it.  Or I see a bunch of friends getting together without me due to social media.  I get lonely, despite really liking time alone.

So I was reading an article on the difference between loneliness and aloneness when I tripped over this sentence, and it was like a needle being dragged across a record:

“Perhaps that’s why children are sent to their rooms to be alone as punishment. And adults without families are automatically pitied.”

There is no further clarification about these universally pitied adults.  Are they single people who are unmarried?  Because once you’re married, there are two of you, and two is a family.  Are they couples who have lost all parents and siblings (if there were any to begin with)?  Or… are they a single adult or a couple who doesn’t have children?  Because coming on the heels of that first sentence, that’s how I read it.

I know this isn’t the point of the article, and I’m sure it went on to make some lovely points, but I stopped reading because (1) no one assigns a feeling to me without knowing me and (2) there is nothing to pity about adults without children.

No.  No.  A thousand times, no.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

*******

I don’t like the idea of reading challenges because I never want to rush through books I love, but I am very excited that I’ve consumed 27 books this year. Plus, it’s only October. I could definitely hit 30 before the year is out. Considering I only read 17 books in 2017, I am pretty damn proud of myself.

And only two or three of them have been duds that I kept reading because I was too far in to stop. I quit one because the typos made the story confusing.

Favourites have been Little Disasters (Randall Klein — my brother, but I can still put his book on my list), The Last Policeman trilogy (Ben Winters), Us (David Nicholls), and Crazy Rich Asians (Kevin Kwan).

What are your favourite things you’ve read so far in 2018?

*******

Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored post.

When I have a big task to do, I drop it in my bullet journal, which means I never lose any item that needs to get done because it’s all there in black and white.  But I also keep a day-to-day list that runs from Friday to Thursday where I drop smaller segments of larger tasks into each day to prioritize what needs to get done.  I do this on a separate sheet of paper, crossing off each item, and then putting a diagonal slash across the square when all items are finished for that day.  It is huge satisfying.

But I realized three weeks ago that I was dumping these sheets of paper at the end of the week.  So I had no record of what I do on a daily basis.  Which sort of sucks, especially when you’re trying to remember how long it takes you to do X, Y, or Z.

I was thinking about getting a paper calendar so everything would be in one place, but only filling it in for Friday to Thursday, week by week.  But that becomes one more thing I have to carry around.  A piece of paper tucked into my bullet journal is easy.  An extra book is hard.

I’m still debating what to do, but I really love this idea of keeping a reverse to-do list:

As I cross things off the task list, I add them to the reverse list. And when something inevitably comes up that wasn’t part of the plan for that day—say, a co-worker with a quick favor, or a tidying task that kept you busy for a bit—you add it to the reverse list, too.  What you’re left with at the end of the day is quite the opposite of a to-do list… it’s a “DONE!” list.

That would be really motivating.  It would also make things like updating your resume a lot easier because you’d have a record of tasks you’ve done.

Passing it along in case you’re looking for a new system, too.

And now, after a heavy week, something lighter.  Harry Potter!

Last weekend, we went out to Chestertown to their Harry Potter festival.  We’ve been going since the first year, and it’s something we look forward to every fall.  This year, the ride was extra sweet because we received a review copy of the new A History of Magic audio book (read by Natalie Dormer) a few days before the trip.  We queued it up on Audible and started driving towards the Bay Bridge.

First and foremost, Natalie Dormer has the most relaxing, melodious voice.  Listen:

So imagine having the history of magic and the Harry Potter books explained to you in THAT voice.

The book opens with backstories about the creation of the series, from the idea through querying through publication stunts, and then weaves its way through the voices on the audio books and the book art.

We own the paper version of A History of Magic, too, and I was really impressed with how they presented all the sidebars and images in the book.  It was always clear whether they were presenting the main point on the page, or whether they were exploring an aside.  Part of that is because they looped in the experts quoted or discussed in the book to talk through their section.  For instance, Jim Dale presents the information from Jim Dale, Stephen Fry presents the information from Stephen Fry.  Other times, the background music changed or the sound changed.  In any case, they took what could have been a very confusing book and made it an enjoyable listen.

The book takes you through a history of magic; all the backstories, beliefs, and beings that influenced and popped up in the text.  If you love magic, this is 11+ hours of bliss.

It was the perfect piece to listen to as we drove into a town entirely transformed into the world of Harry Potter.  Cannot recommend this audio book enough if you love Harry Potter, too.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

My Perfect Breakdown writes about the upcoming visit they’re having with their son’s birth mother.  People are asking nosy questions, and she writes, “I know people are trying to ask if I’ll be jealous about their relationship and how I feel about it. But, my theory is I’ll answer the questions they ask, not the question they are actually trying to ask.”  Love that.  She points out that it is like any visit to extended family, with travel stress and a lot of love.  Safe travels.

Much Ado About Nothing has a heartbreaking and thought-provoking post about the loneliness of miscarriage.  It’s the opposite of pregnancy, when everyone is gathering around you, trying to share in your excitement.  With loss, you’re often alone in your pain, especially if other people didn’t know you were pregnant.  Pregnancy is excitement, a filling.  Miscarriage is despair, a drain.  She could use the circling of the wagons right now because she’s right, loss is lonely.

Lastly, Genuine Greavu about going back on birth control and closing the door on a spontaneous pregnancy.  She explains why they’re no longer leaving it up to fate: “But things have changed. I no longer feel the same open arms feeling of surrender. Instead I feel an itchy, anxious fear that keeps me up at night and makes me second guess intimacy with my husband. And I don’t want to live that way.  The reality is that our life is FULL with two kids… full in ways that are hard to explain.”  They’re finishing off their final FETs and then looking ahead — down the road — to adoption again.  Following their hearts and what feels right, right now.

The roundup to the Roundup: Audio book of A History of Magic is amazing.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between October 5th and October 12th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.