Actually, she makes me think a lot more often than that, but there have been three posts that I’ve bookmarked recently. AND I am writing this early and scheduling it to post because, in case you didn’t catch this with the Roundup, I am NOT thinking today. No thinking. Not even one second of it. I am eating chips in my pyjamas and watching television. My brain is off.

So these were all columns I noted back when my brain was on.

The first was a situation where the person was making a lot of assumptions because a sibling didn’t respond to their text message. They were asking permission to not share future news with this sibling because they obviously didn’t care or didn’t approve. Obviously?

Anyway, Carolyn wrote:

The second was a dad who wanted to give his daughter unsolicited advice on a situation that he knew nothing about. I know––always a great idea. Carolyn told him this brilliant statement:

Humility is our best friend. It urges us to say to ourselves in these situations: “I know what I witnessed, but do I know what it meant?”

Again, how many times do you jump to thinking you understand something but when you take a step back and ask yourself what it means, you can’t answer the question? For me — all the time.

The third was a woman who feels guilty when she sets firm boundaries. Carolyn’s thought is obvious, but it still feels like something to print out and put somewhere that I’ll see it on a regular basis:

You’ll need to reinforce your own conviction that you’re entitled to choose how you use your time — and others aren’t. This is the bedrock on which all good boundaries rest: the certainty that it isn’t selfish to have them.

That’s what I have. So what good advice have you read recently?

I have a hot date with my pyjamas this weekend. Friday night, we’re doing appetizers for dinner (in my pyjamas), and then reading or re-watching old episodes of The Crown. I’m supposed to be social on Saturday, so I guess I’ll have to shower and change out of pyjamas for a few hours, but the second it’s done, it’s back to pyjamas. And then Sunday, well, you may have guessed, I’m in pyjamas.

There will be chips consumed. There will be movies watched. There will be books read. But there will be zero work unless you count the hard work of scrolling through GoodReads and finding more things to read.

I am mentally checking out for 48 hours. And I’m doing most of it in pyjamas.

Let the relaxation begin in like… eight hours. I cannot wait.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Babies Don’t Die So That People Can Learn Life Lessons–They Just Die And It’s Tragic” (An Unexpected Family Outing)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Lavender Luz has seven facts about National Adoption Month, most of which you probably don’t know. I mean, I didn’t know them, therefore, I assume most people won’t know them. Though once I read the post, I was like, “Yeah, that makes sense.” Learn how the month came about and the impulse behind it.

Inconcievable’s final cycle didn’t work, but I love that she asked for what she needed from her doctor. It is so hard to trust that someone will step up — especially if they’re correcting how they inadvertently behaved — but she makes sure that she has the final interaction she needs. She writes, “I don’t really believe in ‘closure.’ Like so many other griefs, resolving infertility will be an ongoing process. Even when we’ve finalized the last of the decisions, I suspect there will be pangs that pierce me at the most strange and random moments for many years to come. Infertility will no longer be one of the major, ongoing parts of my life, but it will always be a part of my story.” So true.

Finally, The Uterus Monologues has a guest post about miscarriage affecting the writer’s sex life. She writes, “The topic of post-loss sex isn’t very well explored. A quick Google search shows that while there’s plenty of information covering how you might feel about sex immediately after your loss (and generally the sensible health advice is that it’s fine to have sex again once your symptoms have stopped) there’s little that signposts the confusing and complex feelings that may come later. So, let’s dive in.” Wow — what an informative, important post.

The roundup to the Roundup: Did I mention how much I love my pyjamas? Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 1st and 8th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Another underlined passage from Diary of a Bookseller. On page 37, he explains how reading got him through a difficult experience:

The landscapes of Jonathan Meades, William Boyd, José Saramago, John Buchan, Alastair Reid, John Kennedy Toole and others protected me from my own thoughts, which were pushed into the background, where they could silently process without bothering me. I created a physical wall on my desk, made from the books, and as I read them the wall slowly came down until it was gone.

I can tell you what I read once the twins came how from the hospital. In those first few weeks, there was The Time Traveler’s Wife and Oryx and Crake. But those years when we were trying for the twins? It’s a black hole of reading.

I know there were books during that time. I mean, there are always books. But I don’t remember what I read. I can visually scan my bookshelves and note books I read before we started trying and books I read after I brought the twins home. But the years in between are a complete blank when it comes to the page.

I love that image of creating a wall of books between yourself and the world as you process an experience. And reading your way back toward interactions with other people. I wish I had kept a reading journal at that time, writing down the books I’ve read like I do now. But I just have to trust that there were stories that got me through it. I just don’t remember what they are.

What did you read/what are you reading as you process infertility or loss?

When does non-fiction move into the realm of fiction? How many facts need to change in order for something to become fictionalized? If I were to write a book about a blog writer (oh… wait… I did write a book about a blog writer) who is raising teenage twins and covers the Obama White House (because my life used to be a lot more interesting, bookwise), but I change a few facts around––I make the character an only child instead of having siblings or I give her a different husband––is it fiction?

The New York Times had an article about “reality fiction,” which is popular in Norway. It begins with an author who mined her life for material learning that her sister was publishing a book about what it’s like when your sibling publishes a book about your family.

Try to wrap your brain around it.

An explanation from the article:

The Hjorths’ dueling novels are one of the stranger turns in a controversy about a genre of writing called “virkelighetslitteratur,” or “reality fiction,” that has been roiling the Norwegian literature world recently. Some have accused high-profile Norwegian fiction writers, including Hjorth and the country’s most famous writer, Karl Ove Knausgaard, of violating the privacy of others by publishing intimate details under the guise of fiction.

So the first point is why the reader needs to know that the facts are based in reality. What is the advantage to letting people know that you have first-hand experience with the situation vs. just an astute understanding of human nature? And secondly, what is the point of presenting it as fiction rather than as memoir?

I’m intrigued by this and wonder which novels that I’ve read have a deeper tie to reality than I’ve thought.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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I switched a few years ago to a uniform. In the summer, I wear a black or grey t-shirt and cargo pants. In the winter, I wear a black long sleeve t-shirt and jeans.

I switch it up by adding a scarf every day. Most of the scarves are solid, so it’s just choosing which colour fits my mood. Or they’re varying lengths, so I can decided between a thin blue scarf or a plush blue scarf.

It means I never have to think about what I’m going to wear. When I pack, I just grab enough shirts and jeans for the trip and a handful of scarves. I love not having to think anymore. Or worry that a certain top won’t be clean or pants won’t fit. Is it a little boring? Yes. But the scarves are all kinds of awesome.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored post.