I read the loveliest book over break; so special to me that it deserves its own post rather than get squished into the roundup of monthly books. I ordered Jonathan Coe’s new book, Bournville, from the UK. I chose it because the person who writes the Blackwell’s newsletter said: “Whenever I read Jonathan Coe (and I look forward to each new one!) I am always struck by two things; firstly, just how very English his writing is, and secondly, just how enjoyably readable he is. It is too tempting to say that he is my Dairy Milk.”

Yes, Jonathan Coe IS my Dairy Milk.

And like a Dairy Milk, I devoured this book in a few brief sittings because it was too delicious to put down and savour. I’ll reread it slower after everyone else has gotten a chance to experience it. It’s a gorgeous story following six generations of a family, set against the backdrop of seven major events in British history — VE Day to Charles’s investiture to Diana’s funeral — bookended by the pandemic.

I was always going to love this book just because, but the pandemic portions made me feel like crying because we had this great trip planned for that first pandemic summer—almost three weeks in Ireland, Isle of Man, and Northern Ireland. We were bringing an empty suitcase because we planned to go to a bunch of bookstores and buy the Jonathan Coe books that we couldn’t get in the US. The pandemic canceled that trip. So it was bittersweet — like a Bournville! — to be reading this book set in the period when I was supposed to be in the UK (albeit Northern Ireland), reading Jonathan Coe books.

I loved this book so much. It made my break that much sweeter.

Grown and Flown had an article on the top 21 things empty nesters enjoy. I never click on these things, but I did this time because the social copy acknowledged people who are having trouble with the idea of their kids leaving for college. Being one of those people, I decided to click over with an open mind, hoping there would be wisdom I could use to make myself feel better.

There was not.

The first item was how I would get great sleep again—pre-baby sleep. Oh, you mean like all those nights where I cried wildly on the way to bed because another cycle had failed or when I was up with insomnia, wondering if X, Y, or Z would work? In that case, yes, this period is very similar: I either cry on the way to bed or stay up with insomnia, running through all my worries for the next few months.

Next.

I quit the list after six items, realizing that this list was for someone else, not me. I’m happier cooking for four than two if I’m cooking at all. If we’re doing laundry for two, we can do laundry for four. Water savings are lovely, but it’s not really saving. We’re just moving around where the water is used. And underneath it all, I want to be wanted. I want to be needed. And this list was all about not being needed anymore.

And that may be the hardest part of all of this. I’ve done my job and am now told by the universe that it’s time to retire.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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I don’t really need a project, except that I kind of love being in the middle of something. My crocheting skills pretty much end in scarf-land. Because I can make a scarf, I can also make a blanket (which is kind of just a big scarf). But for whatever reason, until I saw this picture, I didn’t think about how I could make a shawl. I could go out and buy the most delicious blue yarn and make myself the perfect winter wrap to wear while I’m reading.

This is the best idea ever. I just wish I knew how to do that edging. So mine may not look quite as awesome, but it’s going to be fantastic.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored post.

My goal for winter break was to clean the storage room and make it usable again, which morphed into cleaning out the room where the kids set up work desks during the pandemic, used through Zoom school, and now used regularly as a homework space. I wanted them to clean out old papers, notebooks, and school projects and make dismantling that space easier this summer. Plus, it gave us more room to drag boxes out of the storage room and go through them.

I found that I was at my best early in the morning. Out with it. All of it. I tossed things without compunction, pausing to photograph the most important things before discarding them in a bag. The kids got rid of toys, old clothes, and boxes and boxes of paper.

After four hours, I would start thinking like Gollum. It’s my spaghetti storage container that I’ve never used. Why shouldn’t I keep it? It’s mine. It’s my precious, which was usually my cue to send Josh to the dump with anything we had to toss.

And then the regret and doubt would come hours later. Had we checked all the pockets on the clothing before donating it? Why did I throw out my childhood lamp without taking a picture? It may still have some life left in it.

And then, the process started again.

I find getting rid of things difficult, though I love things neat and orderly. We got rid of a lot of clutter this week, and we’ve set it up to tackle more rooms and spaces between now and leaving for college. It feels so weird to close up a childhood. So sad. Put it in a box. Set it on a shelf with an external label. Toss the rest.

I couldn’t have imagined this day when they were so tiny. And now it’s here.

Today is Befana Day, which makes last night Befana Eve. Befana rode her broomstick through the night sky to deposit her gifts and candy. Last night we had our big meal instead of tonight. It’s not really tradition; I didn’t remember that we usually have the meal on Befana Day and scheduled it for Befana Eve. And then it was too late to change it. It’s that kind of week. But Befana brought me something, too — a memento from the Queen’s Jubilee. She knows us so well.

The kids will likely be home for Befana Days in the future — this would still be their winter break — but there was something especially bittersweet about this last holiday before they leave.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second, helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

I loved hearing how everyone celebrated Christmas last week. Much Ado About Nothing detailed pre-Christmas to post-Christmas in a post. I especially loved this: “My husband has learned how to make everything so he took over while I sat with the kids watching them play with their new stuff having my coffee. It was glorious.” It sounds like a great celebration.

Finding a Different Path writes about encountering the “desperate childless woman” trope in a book — her last one of the year. And how it ruined the moment for her. “It was almost a throw-it-across-the-room moment, but then I just…decided. Would I rather end 2022 with a disturbing but well written book about an increasingly unhinged woman with mother issues? Or with a book that is diametrically opposed to EVERYTHING I STAND FOR? Even if it only shows (so far) in one line?” Abandoning the book is exactly what I would have done, especially if that was the book I was going to end the year on.

Lastly, The Next 15000 Days has found the perfect strategy for avoiding hurtful small talk conversations — dancing! I also liked this: “I had nice December. I decided I am done skipping life so I attended almost all the parties I was invited to. It felt nice, being part of life.” But mostly, click over for the pretty pictures and to learn ChatGPT’s advice.

The roundup to the Roundup: Befana arrived. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 30 – January 6) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.