The topic of rest keeps popping up, maybe as a response to the recent self-care article in the New York Times. And this idea stuck with me from one of those posts:

Work is active and valuable: it’s where we prove our worth and create a legacy … Busyness is a badge of honour, even a sign of moral superiority. Rest, in contrast, is often treated as if it’s passive and pointless. Indeed, I’ve noticed many people hardly think of rest as its own thing. It’s just a negative space defined by the absence of work.

The point of the post is that you need to know how to rest and get good at rest. It’s a skill. And many people are never taught how to rest and therefore don’t know how to step back and not do anything related to accomplishment. Not do a task for work or home, check a box, or take care of one tiny thing.

I love the idea of getting other people to rest with you.

I can’t tell if I’m out of practice with adulting due to the pandemic or if this would have happened regardless with age, but I had to go downtown last week, and I felt so out of sorts over putting on real clothes and leaving the house.

I had two options for the Metro. One route was shorter but had an unknown parking lot. The other route was longer but had a familiar parking lot. Old Melissa would have gone with route one to get there quickly. She would have figured it out. New Melissa first chose route one and then switched to route two, a decision she regretted once on the train and feeling her stomach lurch for an additional ten minutes.

Old Melissa wouldn’t have written out walking directions. New Melissa clutched them in her hand, ignoring the fact that the CITY IS A GRID. It is super hard to get lost. The directions served no purpose except as a security blanket.

I made myself promise that I wouldn’t be this timid when I have to go downtown next month. I’m parking in the iffy garage and trusting I’ll be able to find a space. My stomach needs me to make that decision on its motion-sick behalf.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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I have not explored AI beyond reading transcripts of conversations with Bing, but I am amused by Opinionate, where you pose a question and allow two bots to argue on your behalf. Without signing up, you get one free debate per day; if you sign up, it goes up to three arguments per day.

I asked it something real, and it gave me a surface-y but detailed answer. It pulled real data to argue the point but used one tiny fact to form the whole argument, ignoring everything else. Still, it was pretty impressive. For a bot.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts connected to businesses or sponsored posts.

Yesterday we crossed the line that stretches across the month, dividing “you’ve got plenty of time to make a decision” from “you better make a decision.”

For people unfamiliar with the US college process, it differs from person to person, but most people apply to a bunch of schools where you’re in the criteria window and then decide amongst their acceptances which program/college fits the best. Because kids also often apply for direct admit, which means they go directly into their major. Some majors are only direct admit, meaning if you don’t get in via admissions, you will probably not be able to do that major when you get to school. Other majors are easier to switch into down the road.

The whole process takes about a year of your life unless you apply early decision, which means you’re committed to that school if you get in. The twins wanted to see which colleges wanted them back and didn’t feel comfortable committing to a school in October, so they went regular decision.

They ended up with many lovely schools to choose from, and it has been difficult to narrow it down. They realize that life is a series of making hard choices and knowing all the other options you won’t get to take. If it helps anyone else, I found this article a good one in helping the twins realize that every choice is just a choice; not a statement on the other options but just a leap into the unknown that the option you’re taking is the best one insofar as you know at the moment.

What would be awesome is if there was a way to test drive each college for a month and then commit to one. It’s not possible — at least, not in the way I envision — so we’re doing the next best thing by taking a deep breath and hitting accept. Any day now.

We are still in the throes of making our college choices, which means a lot of visits to college campuses. One of the nice things to come out of this stressful process is visiting old friends who are now professors on said campuses. I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in 24 years beyond the Facebook screen.

He met us at the end of a tour, and it was so bittersweet to hug someone who knew me from this different part of life. Like missing an old version of yourself while being grateful you can access it again. It felt like Alice returning to Wonderland and hanging out with the Mock Turtle for an afternoon.

It made me realize there’s still a purpose to reunions in this day and age where you can keep up with people on social media. There’s something different about getting a chance to be in the same room again.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second, helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• ” #MicroblogMondays: “This timeline is the only one we’ve got” (The Road Less Travelled)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Scientist on the Roof asks an important question: How do you get yourself out of a bad mood, especially when the things you used to do are no longer feasible? She also questions whether the feelings are coming from her or “am I mirroring people around me (some of them are going through some very difficult times) and absorbing their emotions?” It’s a good question.

Lastly, Bereaved and Blessed declared her 16th word of the year. I will make you click over to see what it is, but it’s remarkable that she has done this for over a decade and a half. Congratulations!

Finally, Dear John recounts a difficult trip she took with her daughter on the anniversary of his death. It was a beautiful place, but she was sad. She writes, “I feel inadequate and disappointed. Probably because I’m not up to conquering the world as easily as I could with your help.” I don’t think we’re always aware of our role in another person’s life — how we just make conquering the world conquerable by being beside them. It was a profound line I thought about after reading it.

The roundup to the Roundup: Seeing old friends. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 31 – April 14) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week. Read the original open thread post here.