Erin McKeown had an essay that spoke so deeply to my heart about the aftermath of an accomplishment, something I’m staring down in a few weeks. In some ways, the twins are an accomplishment, even though their success shifted from our efforts to their own years ago. But it’s the thing I’m most proud of — more than work, books, or other things. I’ve gotten two people ready for the world; others find them kind and helpful.

She couches the discussion on work accomplishments, of which she has many. She writes:

Yes, these things are shiny and awesome, but that’s exactly the problem. They are so extremely shiny and awesome that now they are done, that I didn’t get the jobs, they leave a shiny and awesome void, an emptiness not just on my calendar, which had been packed for the last 10 months, but in my artistic practice, also known as, my soul.

“A shiny and awesome void.” How perfect is that?

I am scared of the quiet periods. The quiet periods in work, the quiet periods in relationships, and now this quiet period of parenthood. I know what to do in the active portion of life. The loud portion. But I don’t know what to do with myself during these quiet periods.

It’s July 4th, which makes me feel like I should write something patriotic, acknowledging the day. But I’m not feeling very patriotic. My mind is focused on the twins attending orientation, getting things together for college, and going over lists and lists and lists for my lists of things we need to do to get them ready.

Independence, indeed.

It’s this strange idea that you turn a certain age, and you’re encouraged to be independent, whether you’re ready or not. I mean, yes, the twins will be fine. They will be ready. But it’s kind of strange when you step back and think about independence vs. interdependence. Why we cheer on one and barely mention the other.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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A Strong Sense of Place linked to a piece on ocean-fed pools. I love these! I’m sure they exist in the US, but I’ve only seen them in Europe.

It’s the joy of being in the ocean without the fears of being in the ocean. A barrier allows water to flow into the enclosed swimming area, but people can’t get dragged out to sea by an undertow. The first place we ever saw one was in North Berwick, Scotland. I didn’t realize it was a thing in many places until we saw one the following year in St. Malo, France.

New vacation goals. Aim for ocean pools.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts connected to businesses or sponsored posts.

Many months ago, when I was in the middle of a very stressful situation, I set up a half hour of “me” time. I usually work through lunch, but on Fridays, I would shut off the computer for a half hour, eat really good chocolate, drink tea, and re-watch a television show. That last part was important because I wanted the half hour to be pure enjoyment, so I would only re-watch things I enjoyed and not take chances with anything new.

Even after the situation ended, I kept up the ritual. It was a little thing to look forward to each week.

But with the kids home for summer, I needed to confess that (1) we had a hidden stash of really good chocolate in the house, (2) I took a half hour in the middle of the day to watch television, and (3) did I mention that the really good chocolate was in an undisclosed space that they would never be able to find or access?

They kind of couldn’t get over the chocolate thing. We generally share everything in the house. “Does Dad know?” they asked. Dad buys it for me. We go to the ex-pat stores and buy really good chocolate for my ritual.

I invited the twins to join me in “me” time, making it “us” time because it is delightful to take a break in the middle of the day and watch Good Omens for a half hour. (They didn’t love the whole stopping the episode in the middle and pointed out that it must take me months to finish a television season. It does.)

If you are also having a stressful time, schedule a weekly ritual. Put it on the calendar as a meeting. Hold it sacred. Buy good chocolate and tea.

This is the 950th Friday Blog Roundup. Maybe not quite as remarkable as the 1000th Friday Blog Roundup, but it still feels worth mentioning because that milestone (#1000) won’t happen for another three years. Three years? How is that possible?

Because at some point, the numbering got messed up, and this is actually the 850th Friday Blog Roundup, even though I left the messed up numbering, which says 950 instead of 850. Still, I feel like I should do something big next year to mark the fake 1000th Friday Blog Roundup.

I wish I had kept better records so I could roll out all kinds of cool stats. But I didn’t. So I guess it’s just onward.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second, helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

Finding a Different Path talks about the benefits of knowing, even when diagnosed with PCOS. She doesn’t want the disorder, but the explanation explains so much. The same thing happened recently when she learned more about ADHD and realized that it might explain many things in her life. She writes, “There’s a lot to unpack for myself here. But also, it’s a relief. All the things that I felt shame and that caused me a great deal of anxiety are because my brain is different.” And later, “There’s so much power in starting from knowledge, even when it took 47 years to get to this epiphany.” Yessssss.

Lastly, Infertile Phoenix takes the term “spiraling” and points out how it can be a good thing. Spiraling can also move you deeply into something interesting or important to you. She is doing qualitative research with childless-not-by-choice individuals. She explains, “Instead of using numbers to describe things, qualitative research uses words (i.e., narrative data). Qualitative research can describe the experience of an individual or group.” It’s important work, and I’m grateful she is doing it.

The roundup to the Roundup: That’s a lot of Roundups. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between June 23 – 30) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week. Read the original open thread post here.