I am aware that I don’t necessarily look old. It helps that I am smaller than the average ten-year-old and still have long hair. Still, I don’t fool the carnies at the guess-your-age booth. I’m now 34.

34 is such a loaded age for a woman. It’s the first year of your mid-thirties, the last year before the sharp fertility decline. On one hand, when you have already passed into a sharp fertility decline at 27, it doesn’t quite phase you the same way to think about the fertility nose-dive you’ll be taking in a year. On the other hand, it is impossible to be a woman and not see “35” in red, flashing numbers. Ad la*–life has to keep happening.

If you were looking for a reason to eat a large chunk of cake this afternoon, you can always say that you’re doing it in honour of my birthday. And it was simply an obligation that you had to fulfill in order to be polite. And since I am a birthday month rather than just a birthday day sort of person, feel free to use this excuse for the entire month of June. I know I will.

I still have more people to add to Show and Tell, but Blogger is being wonky for a moment so it may need to wait for an hour or two–it took a long time to get it up and running this morning. And feel free to keep coming up in front of the class and showing your item. I am deeply in love with Show and Tell. Even when I post something new after the Show and Tell post, it’s still open though Tuesday-ish or beyond. It’s just that once it gets to Tuesday, you may want to hold over your post for the Show and Tell the next weekend.

* “Oh well” in Hebrew

Welcome to IComLeavWe. It stands for International Comment Leaving Week, but if you say it aloud, doesn’t it sounds like “I come; [but] leave [as a] we”? And that’s sort of the point. Blogging is a conversation and comments are honoured and encouraged. I like to say that comments are the new hug–a way of saying hello, giving comfort, leaving congratulations.

Look at the icon in the top left corner of this blog to jump directly to the current list.

I’m assuming if you’re still reading that you actually want to hear more about IComLeavWe. This is actually the third incarnation of this project. The first time, it was called the Commentathon and it was a group of 67 participants pledging to leave at least 1000 comments collectively over the course of a week. We ended up leaving 3739 comments altogether.

The next year, we called it NaComLeavMo in the tradition of NaBloPoMo. We had 214 participants vow to leave 5 comments each day and return one comment for a total of 6 daily comments. But people heard about it after the list closed and someone suggested holding it year-round. So IComLeavWe was born.

How does it work?

On the first day of each month (regardless of the day of the week), a new list opens. Anyone can and should sign up who wants to participate. Because it is held monthly, you can drop in and out month-by-month depending on your schedule. You sign up by leaving a comment on the current list (do not leave it on this post) with the following information:

• Your blog name (if you don’t have a blog, this isn’t a problem. Simply leave your first name instead and write that you don’t have a blog)
• Your blog url
• Three words to describe the three things you write about most frequently (only three; if you leave more, I only take the first three).

Example:

• Stirrup Queens
• http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com
• Infertility, twins, books

I move the information from the comment section into the body of the post every so often (usually within 24 hours). There is also a bit of code at the bottom of the current list for you to grab that contains the latest icon (the icon changes colour every month so you know that you’re on the right list) and it would rock if you place it somewhere on your blog. The reason is two-fold: (1) it enables more people to find out about IComLeavWe and (2) it gives you easy access to the current list once the commenting week actually begins.

The list remains open from the 1st of the month until the 21st. On the 21st, it closes for the month. Commenting begins on the 21st and runs until the 28th. Participants agree to leave 5 comments a day and return 1. If something bizarre happens and they don’t have any comments to return, they just pick another random blog and leave a comment. The daily total should be 6 though you are obviously encouraged to go well beyond 6 daily comments. This goes on for a full week. You are highly encouraged to choose new blogs to read from the participants list. You could also leave comments on blogs you already know and read daily. Both count. But support your fellow participants please. Here is your big chance to delurk or find new blogs to add to your Google Reader.

There is one more challenge–Iron Commenter. People who wish to be an Iron Commenter and be entered on the Iron Commenter honour roll need to leave a comment on every blog on the participants list (exceptions are blogs that require you to have a special log-in, such as some LiveJournal accounts or other similar situations). You can spread out this commenting over the whole week, but the final comment needs to be left by midnight on the 28th (EST). Reaching Iron Commenter status is done on an honour system. The Wall of Honour is at the bottom of this post.

And that’s it. The commenting orgy ends, we all catch our breath, and it starts back up a few days later on the 1st. So–regardless of the day of the week, IComLeavWe always opens on the 1st, the list closes on the 21st, and the commenting takes place between the 21st and the 28th. And then we do it all over again.

Any questions? Why don’t you write me. Feel free to leave a general comment about IComLeavWe below, but if you want to sign up for the current list, pop over and leave it on that list. Comments listed below will not make it onto the current list, get it?

Oh… and the dog on the icon. The story behind that is in this post.

Welcome back to Show and Tell. Everyone is welcome to join, even if you have never posted before and just found out about Show and Tell for the first time today. In fact, we hope you do go back to your blog and post your own Show and Tell item and then return with the link to your post. Details on how to participate are located at the bottom of this post.

Let’s begin.

This week I am showing a pair of shoes times two.

Once, when we were in Paris, we were invited out to dinner by family friends who also mentioned that we would be going to an art opening. Josh warned me that dinner would most likely be a formal affair and I should dress accordingly. I had a little black velvet cocktail dress to wear but the shoes I brought were scuffed. We decided to swing by La Samaritaine and each purchase new dress shoes.

I immediately fell in love with these–they were my first pair of three-inch mary janes.

We walked over from our hotel in St. Germain to their apartment which was about 15 minute walk. By the time we reached their apartment, I was in a small amount of pain from wearing these brand-new three-inch heels, but they suggested that we walk to the art opening instead of hailing a cab since it was a beautiful night. They told us it was by Notre Dame.

So I limped over to Notre Dame, my feet throbbing and a small cut opening underneath my ankle bone where the unbroken shoes were rubbing against bare skin. We passed the church and kept walking. And walking. And walking. And over a half hour after we passed the church, we finally came to this tiny studio where they had mounted a few pictures on the wall and were serving wine in plastic glasses. Josh and I were in so much pain that we could barely breathe.

After ten minutes of small talk with the owners, we left and began walking again to a small Moroccan restaurant nearby. I may not have wanted to show up in jeans, but a casual skirt would have been more than acceptable. I was extremely overdressed for the restaurant. I sat there, trying not to vomit from the pain that was now radiating all the way up my legs. Both ankles were bleeding.

When we left the restaurant, the family friends suggested we walk back since it was such a beautiful evening, but Josh had the good sense to tell them that we would take the metro back to our hotel. We limped back up our street, shoes in hand, not caring if we were walking barefoot through other people’s weekend revelry vomit. That was how much pain we were in. It affected the rest of the trip even though we spent the week in sensible shoes and bandaids.

When we got back to America, Josh had a jeweler make me this necklace–a replica of each of our shoes.

We still use the other couple’s last name as our personal term for anything that may seem like a good idea at the time but has the potential to bite us in the ass.

What are you showing today?

I am a beach person. I am a flip flops and paperback book person. I am a sandy beach bag that advertises a random film festival person. I am a bandanna-wearing, t-shirt-shrugging, popsicle-eating, fireworks-seeking beach person.

I must have been a crab in a past life.

Wait…scratch that…how would a crab reincarnate into a Kosher Jew? Maybe I was a sea bass.

People have a vacation personality; a type of vacation they constantly gravitate towards when they need to relax. Josh and I are beach people, which is not to say that we can’t be talked into a lake retreat or a Disney vacation (Josh, do you want to take me to Disney World?), but we’re happiest at the beach when the aim is to relax (as opposed to learning vacations when we go to a random city in Europe and spend a week going to museums…but that’s a different sort of vacation and not really relaxing). We’re not antiquing people or spa people or adventure people or mountain-climbing people. We are not wear-nice-clothes people or even wear-clean-clothes, per se, on our vacations.

We come home completely encrusted in sand.

The ChickieNob and Wolvog enjoy a good beach vacation. When the ChickieNob gets to a beach, she immediately needs to plant herself face-first into the sand and roll about until she is completely coated like a pre-fried chicken leg. We set up the blanket and she tracks said sand across the blanket and that is her pure bliss–being crunchy and sandy and calling out things like, “there is absolutely a lot of sand in my mouth; how do you think it got there?”

We’re pretty open to any choices or paths our children may take as they age–my cousin always jokes that they’d need to have sex with robots to shock me and then that book came out and I accustomed myself to the idea of sex with robots and I’m fine with that too. But I would be really sad if they weren’t beach people. I know they have to be whatever they’re going to be vacation-wise, but I really hope that they remain mermaid-searching, lobster-worrying, seashell-collecting beach people.

What kind of vacation person are you? If the goal is to relax, where do you go? And do you go back to the same location each time or choose a similar type of vacation in a new spot?

We’re going to Chincoteaque in a few weeks for my birthday (yes, Lori guessed right. Bat Mitzvahs are held near birthdays most of the time. So if my Bat Mitzvah anniversary was last week, it means my birthday is…coming up quite soon). And stopping at Smith Island on our way home. I have built up Smith Island to be the most incredible place in the entire world and part of me is terrified to visit and have my vision of the place changed. But what if it’s every bit as good as I hope it will be and I’ve been missing out on chances to be in that space?

You can access the Show and Tell archive on the sidebar and I will updated that each week in case you miss it. You can click here for the icon code if you wish to have it for your blog. It links to the archives. And the best part about Show and Tell is that you can jump in and out week-by-week; join along whenever you feel up to it. And if you’re not going to be in town, pre-set your post to publish on the right day and email me your blog url and I’ll get it on the list even if you’re out of town. And then you can read everyone else’s post when you return.

Grey is the new black.

Stripes are the new dots.

Gin is the new wine.

Wait, bourbon is the new wine.

No, I was right the first time, gin is the new wine.

Comments are the new hug.

2350 is the new goal.

Tomorrow is A New Day and Manda had the good sense to kick open the doors to the Lushary. I thought everyone could gather here for a drink before they went over to Our Own Creation and Sweet Zoë to knock those old dates off the dashboard wall. And, for Manda, who has been over here polishing the glasses since the weekend, a strawberry drink in honour of her festival. I have pried myself away from Facebook long enough to make it.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about since I posted about Allison’s situation right before Memorial Day weekend, please click here and read about A New Day because we really need your help tomorrow. Well…starting tonight. Starting at midnight GMT and running through the entire 29th of May. 24 hours of clicking your heart out at her blog. She will have a start post up when the time starts and then put up an end post when the 24 hour period is over. Just so you know if you’re clicking at the right time.

We haven’t yet opened the doors to the bar this month and it seemed like a perfect time to do so. As always, it has been a bit more than a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through NaComLeavMo), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have a strawberry cocktail and tell us what is up with your life and then go over and help out Allison.