Category — Microblog Mondays

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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The twins and I are nearing the end of their first time reading the Harry Potter books.  We’re taking a break before book 7 to slow things down, and reading Philip Pullman’s Golden Compass series in the meantime.

A friend recently lamented that he had just finished a Neil Gaiman book and how brokenhearted he felt that he would never have the experience of reading that book for the first time again.  Sure, there will be the subsequent re-readings, but nothing compares to how you feel reading a book that you love for the very first time.  When you lose that particular-book virginity.  (Luckily, unlike your real virginity, you get to become a virgin again with each new book.  And no STDs!)

What book are you happy you read but sad that you’ll never again get to have a first-read experience of that book? (Even if you know that it gets better and better with each read.)  Mine are obviously Harry Potter.  The first-reads for those books are sacred, hence why I’m reading them to the kids.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored posts.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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Last week, the kids and I were talking, and via this very convoluted path which included a discussion of Keith Haring and the Pop Shop, I mentioned address books.

“What’s an address book?” the ChickieNob asked.

WTF?  Do you realize that kids today don’t know what an address book is?  Their only reference point is the contacts app on their parent’s phone.  They have no clue that we used to have paper books — usually with a hard cover — that we bought in museum shops and filled with the address and telephone numbers of our friends and family.  And if we wanted to make a phone call, we had to drag that sucker out and flip to the correct page using the gradational tabs on the side to jump to the correct place in the alphabet.

What else from your childhood will kids never know about?

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored posts.

This post is not meant to point a finger of blame.  This post is only meant to make you think.  To talk about that uncomfortable thing called low comments… or no comments… or low blog traffic… or no blog traffic… or that general feeling of frustration when your hard work or emotions are met with what you perceive as indifference.

Okay, I had one last follow up to discussing where you are on the Internet after I read Tiara’s comment.  We need to own that we all play a role in the life of a blog.  Writers and readers.

Comments and readership fill a space.  You have all certainly made me write more.  If I know you’re going to be here, I’m going to show up here too.

But the opposite is true as well, if we stop going to a space or if we don’t comment, we inadvertently send a message and play a role in that person perhaps deciding not to write.  Which is not to say that I am assigning blame or fault: everyone needs to own their own actions and if someone decides to stop blogging, they have made that choice, no one else.  There is nothing stopping a person from coming back and writing because they love to write, even if they’re not getting other things they want from their space.

But we also can’t minimize the weight of our actions in not reading if we’re going to celebrate our actions in reading and commenting.  I’ve read so many posts of people explaining why they love blogging and the comfort they’ve received, and I’ve written those posts myself.  But if we recognize that as a truth, we also have to understand what our (inadvertent) withholding of those things does too.  It sends a message.  Do they end up thinking their words aren’t interesting enough or their project isn’t needed?

There is a balance.  People need to be realistic and know that there are many many reasons why someone reads or doesn’t read (or comments or doesn’t comment) on a post.  I’m not assigning blame.  But we also can’t pretend that we only have a positive impact on other people’s blogging experience.  We also sometimes have a negative impact, inadvertently.  We affect people with our inaction as much as we do with our engagement.  Maybe more so since like all negative things, inaction weighs more than action just as hurtful words weigh more than kind ones.

And it’s a strange weight that calls to mind that famous Elie Wiesel quote that “the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.”  It is harder to write something and get no response than to write something and get an angry response.  Okay, maybe not on an individual, post-by-post basis, but overall, I think most of us would rather deal with anger from time to time than to deal with day after day after day after day after day of silence.

We have a saying on the Internet: Don’t feed the trolls!  Don’t give the trolls attention.

But we don’t equally have the opposite sentiment being used to instruct our Internet behaviour: Don’t starve the good bloggers.

If we’re not using up precious Internet time interacting with people who write inflammatory posts, why don’t we use that saved time to dedicate it to supporting a kind blogger that we want to have stick around?  If we’re not feeding the trolls, why don’t we instead feed one or two kind, thoughtful bloggers per day, giving them a comment or our attention?  Make a post go viral out of love instead of indignation.

Just as a restaurant closes if customers stop coming in for meals, there are blogs that close because the readers dry up.  While we don’t have a responsibility to read everyone who decides to write, we do need to be mindful that we run the risk of losing that person’s writing when we don’t read or comment.

People need to own the decision to write or not write their blog; you can’t place that burden on the readers’ shoulders.  You aren’t owed your blog to be read just because you write it.  But as readers, we do need to own that we play a role.  Not in the sense that we need to apologize for our actions or explain them to anyone.  We all know that everyone’s time is limited.  One person can’t save the blogosphere.  But we can step forward into the Internet noting which blogs are important to us and doing everything we can without driving ourselves crazy to make sure those blogs stick around.

So I should have been more clear on yesterday’s #MicroblogMondays post. When I said where I am online, I meant where I post.  Let’s say that I start the week with 500 words to say on the Internet.  I’ll use about 300 of them here on Stirrup Queens.  I use about 150 of them on BlogHer.  And then I scatter the remaining 50 on Facebook, Twitter, Ello, etc.

If we were to look at what I’m actually doing online, you would see a grotesque amount of time given over to Hay Day.  Like take whatever you remember from my obsession with Candy Crush and dial it up to 11.  I wake up early to play that app.  It’s sick.  I miss out on 15 minutes of sleep so I can have time to virtually farm while I drink coffee.

Okay, so after Hay Day, you can find me on email or reading blogs when I’m not writing.

So how does all of that play into blog stats or Facebook friends or Twitter followers?  People tend to go where you are the most.  You know that if you want to hear what I have to say or see a picture I’m going to post, it’s going to be here.  No one would think to look for me over on Facebook.  I’m on there, but I’m certainly not updating there consistently.  Same goes for Twitter.  In both places, I tend to consume more than I produce; meaning, I read a lot but I don’t often post my own status updates.

It is hard to find the balance between being on social media accounts vs. being in your own space (your blog).  Sometimes people just prefer Facebook or Twitter, and they camp out on those sites, not really caring that people aren’t coming to their blog anymore.  But other times, I hear the frustration from people who have worked hard to build networks on those other sites because they were promised that it would drive traffic to their blog.  And it does.  But not if you’re camped out on those sites.  Because then people get the message that Facebook or Twitter or Pinterest or Google+ is where YOU want to communicate.  So they meet you in those spots and then don’t think to continue over to your blog.

It would be like meeting a friend for dinner, catching up through the meal, and THEN being surprised when you suggest a second meal back at your house but they turn you down.  Your friend is full.  They’ve already socialized with you.  Why would they want a second dinner?  (Except, of course, that sometimes a second dinner is delicious.)  The opposite scenario is walking through the restaurant, pausing at everyone’s table to say a few quick words, and then announcing that you’re holding a meal back at your place and leaving.  Some people will remain in the restaurant because that’s where they’re happy.  But people who want to hear what you have to say (or see what you’re serving) will come over to eat.

Did that make any sense?

I think the reason why I’ve never seen a rise or fall in blog traffic (everything has been pretty consistent for years) is because this is where you know you’ll find me.  Which isn’t to say that I won’t find you on those other sites.  I know some of you like Facebook or Twitter, so I visit you where YOU are.  But this is where I like to communicate, and this is where you will find the vast majority of my words.

If you miss your blog, I would join up with #MicroblogMonday next week. (Or hey, there is still time to do it this week.  I usually don’t close the list until late Tuesday afternoon to accommodate late stragglers.  There are a lot of people who microblog on Tuesdays.)  It’s a simple way to signal to people where you will consistently be on your blog every Monday.  You’ll be in your home; in your blog.  And once people know that, they will visit you there.  And you will meet new people who blog via that link up because I have met new people who blog via that link up, so I know that it is possible.  It has been one of the nicest weekly parties online.  It makes my whole week better to know I have dozens of posts to read before people scatter back to other social media sites.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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A friend was complaining about their drop in blog traffic over the years.  It made me think about how back in college (which was pre-cell phone), if people wanted to find me during non-class hours, I’d likely be at home, at the literary magazine office, at this one coffeehouse, at work, or at my art lab.  So you may have to jog around to five sites, but you’d find me in time.  Hint: start at the coffeehouse.

Today, if you want to find me online, the best place to check is my blog.  After that, BlogHer.  I’m sometimes on Facebook.  Sometimes on Twitter.  Sometimes on Ello.  Almost never anywhere else.  Let me know if you disagree, but I’m going to guess that if you wanted to check if I were alive, the first place you would look is if there was a new blog post here, correct?  As a result, my blog traffic has been fairly consistent.  It ebbs and flows with the seasonal shifts, but overall, it’s been pretty steady.

So think about it for a second: if I was coming to look for you online, where should I go first?  Where are you online, for the most part?

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored posts.