Category — Friday Blog Roundup

Josh and I came to the realization this week that we have a shared hatred of wrapping things.  It’s Purim this weekend, so we had to wrap all of our mishloach manot baskets.  This activity takes about five to six hours; longer if I don’t do some pre-wrapping stuff like put all the chocolates in boxes.

We did this last night, and we both dreaded it all week.  I asked the kids in the morning if they wanted to help me for a few hours after school, and when I left the room, I heard Josh tell them, “The more you help, the less I have to do.”  (Spoiler alert: They didn’t want to help.)  Josh and I had a phone call midway through the day where we both whined about how much we hate wrapping things.  And then later we dragged our asses to the bleached-down kitchen and wrapped for many many many mind-numbing hours.

I don’t know why wrapping annoys us as much as it does.  I would rather wash an endless supply of dishes than wrap stuff.  I would rather clean toilets than wrap stuff.  I would rather listen to Josh’s music than wrap stuff.  That last one was a hard one, but yeah, I think I would rather listen to Josh’s music than cut cellophane.

*******

We got Yayoi Kusama tickets!  Hopefully I’ll have some pictures/stories about long lines to throw up next week.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “‘Emotional Labour’ and Childless Women” (The Road Less Travelled)
• “Competitiveness in Fertility and Adoption” (My Path to Mommyhood)

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Empress and the Fool has a beautiful post to her two unborn daughters, a pregnancy coming after a long road of infertility and loss.  I’ll admit it: I cried reading it.  It’s not only a beautiful letter, but I read it knowing the history shared on the blog.  Plus this: “Your father and I will be behind you for all the broken bones and broken hearts to remind you: yes you can! The future is female.”

In Quest of a Binky Moongee has a post about her grandmother’s death.  Infertility robs us of the big things, but sometimes it is the small things that are the most hurtful splinters in our hearts.  Her surrogate is finally pregnant after so many years of family building, and she explains, “If we had been able to get pregnant earlier, then my grandma would have had a chance to meet our child(ren) or to have the joy of knowing their existence.  This lost opportunity highlights how unfair this journey could be.”  Go over and give her a hug.

So Dear and Yet So Far is back with an update post.  She explains: “Way back before we started trying to conceive, when one of my nieces or nephews was little, a toddler, no more that a year or 18 months, they looked around and found  who they were looking for: ‘Mommy!’ they exclaimed. Mommy! and my uterus ached and my chest clenched. I felt it. I wanted it. I knew.”  It is a beautiful piece about looking at Plan B or C; about life after it goes off-track and a new course has to be set.

Lastly, Different Shores has a post about Sarah Silverman and the study that said people feel moral outrage towards those who don’t have children.  She writes, “Why can’t our culture just respect the fact that some people can’t have children and some people just don’t want children, for whatever reason? Not to mention the people that shouldn’t have children.”  It’s an excellent question; one that ties into a larger umbrella question: Why do people care about things that other people do when those things don’t affect them?

The roundup to the Roundup: We hate wrapping things.  Seeing Yayoi Kusama’s exhibit.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 3rd and 10th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Allison told me about the Yayoi Kusama’s exhibit at the Hirshhorn, and now I’m trying to get tickets.  The timed tickets are free, but I read that they’re snatched up in seconds whenever they go up for grabs.  Aren’t the rooms gorgeous?  NPR posted a video for the exhibit this week:

It reminds me of the mirrored room children’s memorial at Yad Vashem.  That space makes me feel so tiny; like I’m floating in space.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Infertility Is” (North of Wrigley)
• “In Response” (Not a Wasted Word)
• “I Do Not Miss TTC” (Infertile Phoenix)
• “Innen und Aussen” (Elaine Ohne Kind)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Great minds think alike.  Kmina’s Blog also posted about dealing with the world when it feels out of control.  She writes: “Seriously, can you blame me for wanting to retreat in my own bubble and not.leave.it.until.it.gets.better? Yet, I can’t. Now more than ever, normal people need to be heard. So I read the news, and comment, and disseminate information and articles that are SANE and point out to the TRUTH.”  It is a wonderful post, and I love the dream at the end.

Ms. Infertile has a great post about an art exhibit that bubbles up questions about infertility.  She explains, “I decided, after a couple glasses of wine, to sit and take part of a performance piece called ‘Negative Data: Questions’  – you ask a question via writing and the artist answers back with another questions, the dialogue as a series of questions until we run out of paper.”  She has a picture up of the back and forth.

Infertile Phoenix recounts a frustrating exchange with her mother.  Her mother points out that she still spends time with people who have parents despite her own mother being gone and asks why her daughter can’t build a relationship with her cousins now that they have children.  This post is so important because it highlights the depth of misunderstanding in the general public about the absence inherent to infertility.

Lastly, Res Cogitatae has a post that asks an important question: Is it always good to delve back into memories?  As she reflects on old entries in a journal, she writes, “The entries are nothing special. I didn’t know, of course, that those visits would turn out to be the last visits. I thought we had years left.”  It is painful for her to read them now, knowing what she knows.  Go over and participate in the discussion about returning to memories.

The roundup to the Roundup: Seeing Yayoi Kusama’s exhibit (maybe?).  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 24th and March 3rd) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I bought myself Jackie so I could show it to the kids.  I really can’t put into words how much I loved this movie.  I cried through the whole thing, and I knew I wanted to own it the moment it came out on video.  Moreover, I wanted it as a digital copy so I could carry it with me wherever I went.

Some of it is the writing and the acting, but a lot of it is the space.  The West Wing gets some of the layout of the White House very wrong, and it annoys me whenever they walk through a door that doesn’t exist.  But this movie not only got the layout correct, but it makes me feel like I’m there.  Yes, we could watch a documentary on the White House and it would have the same effect, but this feels… different.  More emotional.

So I’m now carrying around Jackie in my pocket.  And four Harry Potter movies.  Because… you know… Potter.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Of Love and Rolling a Dosa” (Happiness and Food)
• “The Parents Who ‘Regret Having Children’” (Different Shores)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Riding the IVF Roller Coaster has a post that makes a great point: there is no formal declaration of best friendship in the way that you clearly know where you stand when it comes to marriage.  This means that I can consider someone my best friend, but maybe I’m not their best friend.  She writes: “However, why aren’t there rules about this? What about a ceremony to acknowledge who the best friend couples are? Why aren’t there rules to say if X is Y’s best friend, then it must be mutual and Y must be X’s best friend. I feel like a teenager who doesn’t know if she should refer to someone as her girlfriend.”  A really great question.

Bent Not Broken recalls a painful moment of someone springing an ultrasound video on her.  She thought she was going to get puppies doing cute tricks.  Instead she saw a baby wiggling around on the screen.  It’s a great post of how one person’s pleasure can be another person’s pain, and a good reminder to tread carefully, thinking through things before you click send or call someone over to see the “cutest thing ever.”

Anabegins has a post viewing your life in monthly (vs. daily) chunks.  She explains, “This past week I haven’t read or spent one on one time with anyone in my family. I may think I’m failing at my explicitly stated goals. But take a step back and look wider and the perspective is much different — this MONTH I’ve mediated 90% of days, had 3 one-on-one dates with each kid AND my husband, read 2 amazing books, and exercised 12 times.”  It’s a great reminder of looking at life goals in different ways to see the real story.

Lastly, No Baby Ruth is pregnant before IVF round 2, and I love her post because it captures the ups and downs of an early pregnancy.  Clearly someone out there has the early pregnancy experience that involves marveling over a positive pee stick and then running down the beach with the wind blowing in her hair and then happily shopping for baby clothes at six weeks (in other words, every pregnancy montage in a made-for-tv movie), but I do not know these people.  Pregnancy after infertility is hard, and because you know things so early, you go through the ups and downs of fear and reassurance.  Sending her good thoughts for smooth sailing from here on out.

The roundup to the Roundup: I now have Jackie in my hot little hands.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 17th and February 24th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I got really excited and then really unexcited in a cycle lasting about five minutes when I heard about Peanut, the new app that is called Tinder for Friends.  You want new friendships?  Swipe right (or left?  I’m sorry, I’ve never seen Tinder so I don’t know which direction you DO want to go.  So put the correct direction in this sentence) if you want to meet this person to hang out.

Which is brilliant because it can be very difficult to make new friends once you get older.  I work out of the house, so it’s not like I’m meeting new co-workers.  I’ve become friends with some of the parents of the twins’ friends.  And I’ve met some people through activities.  But… yeah… it’s really hard, especially when people move or drift away because they get busy.

But when I went to download it, I saw that the description stated: “Peanut shows you like-minded mamas near you, and makes it easy to meet.  We’re on a mission to build a community of women who happen to be mamas.”

Well, first and foremost, “mama” is a term I use for my guinea pig — Hebrew for “what-what,” which is what I call him when he is wheeking his head off for no reason other than to let me know that he is thrilled to be alive.  Secondly, I do want to meet other women, but I don’t really care if they are parenting a child.  I like having conversations about other things than kids.  Thirdly, you need to sign up via Facebook and it pulls in your information from that site.  Big security no-no.  Fourthly, this sentence from The Stir’s review, which I found when I started poking around for information, sums it all up for me: “After that, I was instructed to choose three options from a bunch of different ‘mom-centric’ labels to describe myself.”  Um, try none of the above.

So totally disappointed and not downloading it at all.  But if someone wants to make an actual Tinder for Friends, I am totally there and will be your first tester.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “…Because I Don’t Have Kids” (My Path to Mommyhood)
• “The First Ultrasound – Recap” (In Search of a Binky Moongee)
• “Your Win is My Win” (In Due Time)
• “Prayers for the Body” (I’m a Real Woman Now)
• “Banishing Intrusive Thoughts” (No Kidding in NZ)

Okay, now my choices this week.

IF Pomegranate has a post about her sister’s pregnancy.  It is bittersweet news.  On one hand, she clearly benefits and gets to be an aunt.  On the other… well… I think you all understand the other.  This one line sums it all up: “I guess my feelings are more like FOMO – Fear of Missing Out. That’s how I feel. I feel FOMO. But it isn’t a fear. It is real. I am missing out: MO.”  It’s about being happy for someone else while being sad for yourself at the very same time.

Raven Rambling has a post about how her experience with Valentine’s Day is keeping her feelings about other holidays in check.  Once upon a time, it was a difficult holiday for her and then she met her husband.  She writes, “Just like that, Valentine’s Day was good again! I had my Valentine, and so February 14th could come and go without causing me any pain. Valentine’s Day was redeemed!”  She keeps this in mind when she is struggling now with other holidays; that it won’t always feel like this.

Lastly, The Maybe Baby (Babies) is back with a post about life now in the Trump era.  Even as a white woman traveling within US borders, she feels anxious being away from home.  What if she can’t get back to her family?  Things keep changing so rapidly, how does she know when she leaves home that the rules will still be the same when she tries to return?  And yes, infertility comes into play: “For a few moments, my anxiety gets replaced by rage. We’ve worked too hard to be a family to let this fucker fuck it up.”

The roundup to the Roundup: No Peanut for me.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 10th and February 17th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Linus has been in our family for about two weeks now.  He has settled in nicely, and isn’t shy about his likes (kale, shredded carrots, romaine lettuce) and dislikes (carrot chunks, sugar snap peas, apple).  He is mad for barley cookies, enjoys rolling around in his hay bowl (eating is a full body experience), and will nibble his dry food.

He wheeks nonstop when the twins come home from school.  He gets himself worked up, frantically jumping until they pick him up.  He wants to be held pretty much 24/7.  He’s happy enough to sit in my lap while I work, but he prefers for one of my hands to be stroking his back.

I love this pig so much.

I miss Truman, but it is nice to have a pig to cuddle while I miss him.  It helps that his personality is so different from Truman’s personality and that the two pigs look nothing alike.  Look at that little piggy face:

*******

Has anyone ever tried (or know someone who tried) NaProTECHNOLOGY?  That’s their capitalization… not mine, just in case you thought I was shouting that last bit at you through the screen.  I was speaking with a journalist who is looking to connect with anyone who tried it.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “You’re Next” (Tales of a 30 Year Old Nothing)
• “Value” (A Calm Persistence)
• “Everyday Issues” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, em!

Okay, now my choices this week.

Grumpy Rumblings has an interesting post about whether you should go broad or deep when it comes to activism.  Is it better to spread yourself out over many issues, or to focus all of your energy on a single issue?  There’s a benefit and drawback to each approach, and the comment section is just as interesting as the post itself.

ANDMom has a moving post about feeling overwhelmed.  She writes, “I’m empty, and I don’t know exactly how one goes about filling back up again – and even if I did, I’m not sure I have it in me to try.”  It’s a gorgeous post about how even once things get better, it can be difficult to return to filling yourself when the care has flowed out towards others for so long.

Lastly, My Path to Mommyhood has a post about an offensive text from another person who states that she feels like she needs to tiptoe around them due to their infertility.  She writes, “And now apparently all we’ve done is make her feel like shit for her life and her job and she has had to tiptoe around us, and she basically equated scrolling past an offensive political post to SCROLLING PAST OUR PERSONAL TRAGEDY.”  Being kind is not that difficult.  Following someone’s lead to the best of your ability doesn’t remove your happiness.  I do not buy the argument that being sensitive towards another person is a hardship.

The roundup to the Roundup: Linus is settling in.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 3rd and February 10th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.