Category — Friday Blog Roundup

The Guardian had a really good story about two Lisa Davises born on the same day and living in the same city that New York cannot seem to tell apart.  It’s not identity theft because they’re not trying to fool anyone, but this fact leads to some very annoying situations.  It has also led to a very eye-opening look into how black and white women are treated in the city.  Let’s just say that what happens to one Lisa Davis doesn’t happen to the other Lisa Davis.

Definitely worth a read if you’re looking for something extra to devour this weekend.

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It’s Pesach.  It’s hard to know that there is so much pasta in the world, and none of it can go into my body right now.  A fine layer of matzah crumb covers every surface.  Linus decided that he LOVES matzah, just loves it so damn much.  He stands on his hind legs and begs every time someone eats a piece in front of him.  He looks back and forth between the piece of matzah and the person’s mouth, wheeking pathetically.  “Please,” he says.  “Give me one tiny bite of that matzah goodness.”

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “A Beautiful Mess of Motherhood” (My Path to Mommyhood)
• “The Gift of Acceptance” (No Kidding in NZ)
• “Ten Ways I’m Rocking Motherhood” (Torthúil)

Okay, now my choices this week.

While not as eloquent as Ariel Levy speaking about loss, I was grateful that Nancy Kerrigan stepped forward this week to speak about her six miscarriages.  Secondary infertility rarely gets coverage, and it goes a long way in cluing in the general public to the fact that you can experience infertility even after having a child.

Terppsicore has a post about how easy it was to connect with another person when we were kids compared to how difficult it can be as an adult.  I won’t ruin the story by saying much more, so you’ll have to click over to read the brief piece.

Lastly, Bereaved and Blessed is celebrating her tenth blogoversary.  She sums up her blogging experience over the course of the year with a single word, but the interesting thing is that she doesn’t set the word before the year has happened.  She states it at the end to summarize how the year has actually gone.  Which means it goes hand-in-hand with a lot of reflection on your old posts.  It’s a fantastic idea, one I may steal in June when I come up to my blogoversary.

The roundup to the Roundup: A tale of two Lisas.  Linus wants matzah.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 7th and April 14th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

It has been a strangely busy week — travel, work, bathroom remodeling, weekend guests, and hosting Pesach on Monday — which means something had to fall through the cracks, and so far it’s the interactive fiction game I was set to play for my monthly interactive fiction club.  (It’s like a book club, but instead of a book, we play a game and then get together and discuss it.)

I’m still attempting to get to it tonight, but it isn’t looking good.  That matzo ball soup isn’t going to cook itself, friends.  But it brings up a question: should you attend a club (book club, video game club, etc) if you haven’t done the prep work?  I’m not bothered by the game being ruined for me.  Well, I mean, I am, but I understand that is the risk.  But is it obnoxious to show and admit, “I didn’t play this one.”

Um… in case any of the guys are reading: I didn’t play this one.  I suck.  But I will see you guys this weekend because I’m leaning towards being obnoxious and begging for mercy.

Do you show up for book clubs if you haven’t read the book?

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Top Ten Things That Suck About Delayed Fertility” (Lady Part Adventures)
• “Sometimes I’m Firing on All Cylinders” (Bent Not Broken)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Hope Floats Among the Cherry Blossoms has a post that is so beautiful, heartbreaking, and brief that it is poetry.

My Path to Mommyhood runs into her old RE at the grocery store.  She writes, “I can revel in the fact that we are friends with someone who tried real hard to get us pregnant and tried to keep it real even as the quest failed miserably, and who still gives really great hugs and truly enjoys our presence, whether at events, the grocery store, or in the mail. Maybe, in a weird way, more so because we weren’t a success story.”  It’s a great post about reconnecting with someone who was a big part of your journey.

Too Many Fish to Fry has an important post to read about the death of a friend and a lesson learned.  She explains, “Stoicism never pretends life isn’t horrible. It never assumes that challenges won’t rear up and the philosophy won’t promise a perfect life. Instead, the stoics teach us that challenges will happen, terrible events will occur. They advise that the only way to prepare for such things is to count the good things we have, over and over again.”  I’ll be thinking about the story inside the post for a long time.  (And likely thinking about it every time I climb a long flight of stairs.)

Lastly, Riding the IVF Roller Coaster has a post about telling her child about a loss.  This is a post for everyone who worries about talking about pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or neonatal death with a child.  My experience has been about the same when the ChickieNob and Wolvog have asked.

The roundup to the Roundup: Showing up for a (book) club when you haven’t read the (book).  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 31st and April 7th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

The Wolvog and his friend have been hanging out on a Minecraft server which is an exact replica of Disney World.  Exact replica, down to the ticket booths at the front of the park, the lines outside the rides, and the placement of every brick.  You can go on rides, meet characters, and wander through restaurants.  Oh — and it’s every park in Florida.

When he first mentioned it, the ChickieNob and I sort of squinted at him and said, “I don’t get it.”  So he got the computer and showed us, and suddenly an hour of our life was gone as we rode on the Haunted Mansion and went on the People Mover and flew above California on Soarin’.  (Thank you, Wolvog, for being very patient with us, especially when we both shouted out different rides and made you jump from park to park.)

As far as I know, it’s not an official Disney project; just a labour of love from hundreds of kids who go to the park, photograph every square inch, and then recreate it in Minecraft.

You need a Minecraft account in order to access it, and you can find it at MCMagic (Palace Network).

Happy visiting.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “With the Words of a Love Song” (Glow in the Woods)

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Washington Post has a beautiful piece about why we should talk about miscarriage.  Perhaps the most important point: “For a society that has no shortage of vocal citizens highly concerned about the fate of unborn children in general, there is surprisingly little compassion to go around for the loss of one unborn child in particular. We know how to criticize, but we don’t have a script for consoling.”  I loved this piece.

Res Cogitatae has a post that made me smile after reading all the doom and gloom in the rest of the Washington Post.  She talks about what happened when she met up with a stranger to pass along some baby things.  I hope it makes you smile, too.

With Every Heartbeat looks at the life she was supposed to have and holds it against the life she has.  She writes, “This life is nothing like the one we thought we’d have.  The life we, quite frankly, thought we deserved after so many long, difficult years.  Where is that life?  Reduced to ash, just like our daughter.”  It is such a raw, beautiful post.

Lastly, The Road Less Travelled has a post about Ariel Levy’s book.  I wrote about her story after the New Yorker article, but I didn’t know that a memoir had been released a few weeks ago.  She writes, “Her story of how swiftly a carefully constructed life can fall completely apart is something those of us who have experienced traumatic loss will well relate to.”  I think I’m going to read this one.

The roundup to the Roundup: Virtually visit Disney.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 24th and 31st) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Tomorrow is a Pyjamas Day.  Every once in a while, I write Pyjamas Day on the calendar, and that day is held as sacred.  Nothing can be scheduled on that day.  No one can visit.  The point is to sleep until you wake up and then lounge around the house all day doing pretty much nothing.

I put this Pyjamas Day on the calendar a few weeks ago, and events threatened to derail it at every turn.  People kept asking us to schedule things on that day, but I held firm.  No, I could not do anything on that day no matter how interesting or important.  Did they understand that I needed to spend 24 hours in a manky old University of Wisconsin sweatshirt and non-matching sweatpants?

So that’s what I’m doing starting at midnight tonight.  See you on the other side.

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Part of why I need a Pyjamas Day is that we’re attempting a bathroom renovation.  We had a slow leak that destroyed the tile, and in replacing the tile, we also sort of need to replace the vanity.  We’ve been putting this off for months… cough… years… because (1) I hate to decorate or make any sort of decision about my living space, (2) cost, and (3) a lack of desire to have the work take place and disrupt my life.

But we’re doing it.  We’re attempting to pull all the necessary pieces into place.  I told Josh that I wanted to go with a steampunk theme.  He informed me that he has no clue what this means.  “Like… aviator goggles over the toilet?”  No.  No, Josh.  What I mean is that I will find a bunch of things that remind me of Doctor Who, and we will pee next to a vanity with gear-shaped drawer pulls, lit by a fixture that has Edison bulbs encased in cages.  THAT is what I mean.

Wish us luck.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Seven Months” (With Every Heartbeat)
• “Three Steps to Banish Negative Thoughts” (No Kidding in NZ)
• “In the End” (The Road Less Travelled)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Searching for Our Silver Lining has a eulogy for a dog that contains a really profound thought: “It’s easy to eulogize those that fit into the ideal. The popular ones that check off all the right boxes, giving the imagine of a life out of a storybook … But the truth is we all have our flaws and faults; our skeletons we wish to hide from the world.”  It’s the story of loving and respecting a difficult dog.  And, damnit, she made me cry.

Lavender Luz has a post looking at whether something is good luck or bad luck using a story to illustrate the grey nature of everything.  We never know what our “bad luck” has saved us from, turning secretly into “good luck” in disguise.

With Every Heartbeat has a post about loneliness stemming from that moment when you realize that you are not happy whereas everyone else around you has found what they’re looking for in life.  She writes: “Their lives are working out as they’d planned, dreamed, hoped, worked so hard for and then there’s you and your broken life, unfolding as a nightmare, in tatters, despite everything.”  It is a post about wondering if you’ll ever smile fully again.

Days of Grace has a post about releasing herself from infertility.  She points to the moment, saying, “The end of infertility. It finally can’t hurt me anymore.”  I don’t know if I’ve hit that point yet — where it can’t hurt me anymore — but I love that idea of release.

Lastly, Look No Tubes has a post about going to her transfer alone.  I want people to read this post because it was so stressful, which may be an odd thing to say.  But what I mean is that it highlights the truth for anyone who has thought, “Oh, you can always do IVF.”  Sure, it is an option, but it isn’t easy.  People should know that before they suggest it.

The roundup to the Roundup: Pyjamas Day.  Steampunk bathroom.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 17th and 24th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

So we got a snow day, but we lost our Yayoi Kusama exhibit tickets.

There were three scenarios that could have happened: (1) The storm was smaller than anticipated so we could get downtown and see the show, (2) The museum closed due to the snow and we could use the tickets on the proposed snow date, (3) The museum opened late due to the snow and they wouldn’t honour the tickets on another date.

Guess which scenario happened?

We couldn’t safely get downtown — the roads were too slick — and the Hirshhorn said they wouldn’t honour the tickets on their proposed snow day.  It was use them now or lose them forever.

We had a moment where we asked ourselves whether or not we were willing to risk our lives in order to use the tickets and see some art, and then realized that was a horrible idea.  The Hirshhorn stating that our only option was to traverse unsafe roads in order to see the exhibit made me feel like the point wasn’t really the people seeing the art.  I mean, if it’s about the audience — the human beings giving their attention to the piece — you try to keep them safe.  If it’s about the museum, you tell people to get on unsafe roads or miss out.

So we let the tickets go.  We may try again to get tickets, but not sure if we’ll end up seeing it after all.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Kinda Childfree in a Child-Full World” (By the Grace of Chocolate Go I)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Searching for Our Silver Lining has a post about trying to get back into writing again after being away from her blog for a bit.  I’ll be honest: The reason why I never take a break from my blog is that I know how hard it would be to get started again.  This post confirms it.  She writes, “Originally the break in writing was meant to be temporary; a hiatus to focus on all the turmoil. Coming out of that required more activation energy then I anticipated.”  Plus I really love the ending of the post.

Bent Not Broken has a post titled “Struggle Bus” that I loved for its name and simplicity (though not the situation).  I latched onto the title because it immediately conjured an understanding of those times when your feelings are at the wheel, moving you through life, and you’re not really the one in control of getting from Point A to Point B.  Plus this: “This is grief.  It’s not pretty.  It’s not always logical.  It always sucks.  But I always get through it.”  Sending a hug.

Lastly, Infertilityhonesty has a post about emotional labour, an idea that has been bouncing around the blogs a lot for the last few weeks.  There is a longer definition in the post (and a roundup of some of those posts I mentioned), but emotional labour “includes the things we do to support people emotionally, the willingness and effort to enter into another’s world view, the ability to acknowledge another person’s pain and attentiveness shown to another person’s experience.”  It is a long post but an important post.  Read it all the way through and then think about it a lot.

The roundup to the Roundup: Not seeing Yayoi Kusama’s exhibit.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 10th and 17th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.