Category — Friday Blog Roundup

I haven’t run BlogHerAds on my blog all year, but I finally got around to removing the code this week. I’ve been part of the network since 2007. It was my last tie (beyond human beings) to the old BlogHer site. So I kept moving it over on my to-do list until I got sick of recopying the task.

I never really thought about the ads––they asked if I wanted to put them on, I said sure, and I rarely thought about it again. But taking off the ad code, deleting that last tie to the site, made me super sad. It wasn’t like losing the conference or the articles or the community, but because it turned out to be the final snip, it took on a great weight.

For me, that was truly the end of the era.

Luckily, the relationships to the individuals I met through the community live on. So there’s that. And I still have the Hermoticon, which currently leads to nowhere, on the right sidebar. And all the memories and emails and such. But no more BlogHerAds.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “#MicroblogMondays: Never Mind” (The Road Less Travelled)
• “Currently Reading: Midnight in Chernobyl and The Radium Girls” (Inconceivable!)
• “Complex Legacies” (Hopelessly Infertile and Surrounded by Fertiles)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Again, I don’t usually feature articles from mainstream media, but I found The Atlantic’s coverage of Todd Hochberg’s work with parents after a loss incredibly moving. He comes to the hospital after a stillbirth to give parents photographs of their child. The pictures are beautiful.

Fighting Infertility pops in for a quick update. Despite a bunch of canceled cycles, she’s upbeat and feels like she’s already in such a good space that she isn’t getting down about the situation. Even though the post doesn’t contain happy news, it made me smile for her. It’s a good mental space to be in.

Waiting for Baby Bird has a post about the day she sets aside on the calendar each month to reflect on their family building experience, specifically that day each February, when her father sends her a rose to mark the occasion. It’s a religious post, and as someone outside her religion, I found it moving and fascinating. She writes, “I’ll be honest, I dreaded receiving the rose for this year and secretly prayed it would slip his mind. It’s been five years since his tradition started, but nearly eight years of contending for a miracle and waiting to see if it would come to pass.” It’s about keeping your faith during a long journey.

Finally, Lavender Luz has a guest post from an adoptee unpacking a moment when she yelled at her mother. She writes, “But I wish my mother had paused to realize the inherent compliment I was giving her when I mentioned finding my ‘real mom.’ I felt safe enough with her to lash out in anger. But more importantly, secure enough in her love to reveal my inner, deep, usually very private feelings.” It’s an incredible piece on why it is so important to allow someone else to speak their heart.

The roundup to the Roundup: No more BlogHerAds. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 14 – 21) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

The most exciting thing happened to me this week (I guess I lead a pretty unexciting life)–I won a Goodreads giveaway. I enter them regularly because Goodreads will send you a heads up if a book on your to-read list holds a giveaway. It’s two clicks to throw your name in the hat.

Despite entering regularly, I’d never won a giveaway. I didn’t know anyone who won a giveaway, which made me wonder if they actually chose winners and sent books.

But then magic happened. One morning this week, I woke up to an email telling me that I was a winner in the giveaway for Rhys Bowen’s Above the Bay of Angels, and my prize was waiting for me in my Kindle account. If I lived inside a movie, it would have been that part of the film where we all break into the same dance, tossing our devices in the air while we do back flips. And then catching them while sinking gracefully into the splits while consuming chapter three.

Or something like that.

Anyway, in case you were wondering (as I was), people do win the Goodreads giveaways. Which is 1000 kinds of awesome.

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Happy Valentine’s Day. Or, if you don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (we are not Valentine’s Day people), happy Friday. Or happy February 14th. Or happy weekend. You choose.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Childless woman announces her life not filled with freedom, money, travel, never-ending ease” (Infertilityhonesty)

Okay, now my choices this week.

I usually don’t feature pieces from mainstream media here, but I liked that New York Times did a piece on the financial cost of treatments. Of course, there are so many hidden costs in there, such as therapy, lost wages from time taken off from work, gasoline to and from the clinic, but this is a great starting point for the general public to understand the astronomical costs (sometimes) associated with family building.

A Separate Life has a beautiful anniversary piece. This line is bittersweet: “When the babies didn’t come, amid some scary diagnoses and losses and difficult years, his hair went grey.” And this one made me smile: “They are old only in the length of time they’ve loved each other.”

Infertilityhonesty has a post fit for the Onion depicting the press conference she wishes she could hold. Laughed at this line: “Studies show awkward pauses are the number one occurrence resulting from childless not by choice people talking honestly about their lives.” This parody is brilliant–go read it.

Lastly, Inconceivable! has a moving post about the grief that comes after a decision and how so many other feelings about other things can get tied up with processing the end of family building.

The roundup to the Roundup: I’m a winner! Happy Valentine’s Day. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 7 – 14) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Remember many years ago when some of us read Baby Trail as part of the online book club? Sinead Moriarty followed up that IF book with three more, all based on her own, first-hand experience with family building, and all are now available on Kindle. For some reason, they’re not looped in with the paper book’s listing, but you can get the first one for free today.

The offer goes from the 5th to the 9th.

Happy reading!

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Vacances” (Des méandres aux étoiles)
• “Happy for a Friend” (By the Brooke)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Infertile Phoenix sums up life after several difficult events perfectly with these lines: “I’m glad to be where I am. It required me to do a shitload of work though. It demanded a willingness to carry a very deep pain for a very long time. But the load has gotten lighter.” It’s not that things are perfect. It’s not that it all goes away. But the load is lighter. It’s what we hope we find in the future.

Kmina’s Blog has a moving post on 02.20.2020 about a roller coaster of pregnancy and loss. I love this line: “There are flickers of light and hope in the world, but gosh, do they need work to keep alive.” Keeping you in my heart, and glad to hear your voice again, Kmina.

Finally, I also bookmarked By the Brooke’s post, “Happy for a Friend.” I love that it validates all the feelings: the happiness for a friend, the jealousy, the anger. We’re complex people and we have complex feelings. She asks fantastic questions in the post that will get you thinking: “What if everything is a gift? What if I remember that I’m entitled to nothing? What if I accept it as a shocking and delightful surprise that three of my children are alive, instead of expecting it as the standard outcome?”

The roundup to the Roundup: IF fiction for free. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 31 and February 8) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Almost 20 years ago, I went on my first date with Josh. The anniversary is coming up this week. But right now, we are in the period of time between when we set up the date and when we actually went on the date; seven long days. Somehow I forgot that fact – how long he made me wait – until this year. I mean, sure, a week doesn’t sound like a long time. But I had a crush on Josh for months prior to setting up that first date. Seven days was a long time to wait.

I bet he’s going to complain when he reads this and say, “But I married you! Isn’t it enough at this point that I married you?”

Yes. But also no. But more yes.

I love Joshua. I am so glad that the universe aligned and brought us together. Happy 20th.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Road Less Travelled was prepared to be miffed by a song’s refrain she heard while out and about, but a deeper dive told a different story about the lyrics. As she says, context is everything. Click over to read the story and hear the song.

It’s Inconceivable writes about the power in the word, “No.” Infertility made her feel different from the people around her, and it affected her flexibility. She writes, “I already felt like a square peg in a round hole because my life was so completely different to everyone else, so I pulled out all the stops to fit in with other peoples plans and I’d accommodate everyone else at the drop of a hat.” I love her lists.

Lastly, Inconceivable has a post about the recent PTSD miscarriage study but points out another facet of it that I didn’t notice the first time I read about the study: The sole focus is on peer support. She explains, “There’s very little about better helping women connect with mental health care or how the medical care of these conditions might change.” As she points out, there needs to be more done than just talking to one another.

The roundup to the Roundup: 20 years with Josh. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 24 and January 31) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

I haven’t seen any reboot shows yet. I barely like reboot books that try to recapture the original magic. It’s not that it can’t be done–The Testaments was wonderful. But there have been too many times when I’ve had deep regrets catching up with beloved characters (Cursed Child springs to mind) that it has kept me from tuning in to revisit old television characters. Visual mediums have an additional hurdle when the characters no longer look or sound the same. It’s like trying to reconnect in your forties with a favourite chum you haven’t seen since preschool.

But I’m really curious about how Thirtysomething will go, and it may be the show that tips me over into the reboot zone. It’s (1) apparently focused on only four of the original group, aiming for the strongest storylines and (2) it’s about that foursome watching their kids navigate their thirties. So… an interesting take.

Plus I loved the original Thirtysomething.

Would you watch the reboot? And do you watch any reboots?

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

You may have seen last week that Amy Schumer was asking people to text her about IVF, and Risa Kerslake did it. But this post is really about the comments Schumer received for putting her situation out there. She writes, “So Amy Schumer might be unrelatable to those of us who aren’t rich and famous, but she is still getting shitty comments like this, and that, my friends, is why infertility needs to be talked about from people of all walks of life.”

An Engineer Becomes a Mom has a post about arrival (getting through something) that ties in with infertility and resolution. How do you know when you’re resolved? When you’ve arrived on the other side of something? She writes, “For me, I’ve concluded that arrival is getting through the major crap-tastic-burn-it-down dark night of the soul so that when the next dark night comes around it’s not so earth-shattering.” I really love the questions and answers in this post.

Lastly, Dreaming in Diapers has the results from her ninth IVF cycle, and it’s upsetting. She explains: “I actually answered the call this time…most of the time I let it go to voicemail..especially if my hubby is not with me…but this time was different…I was expecting great news…and this is what I heard over the phone.” Please circle the wagons of support, but I also love this battle cry: “it’s tough………….but so am I….”

The roundup to the Roundup: Thirtysomething is coming back… maybe? Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 17 and January 24) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.