Category — Friday Blog Roundup

I like books. Do you like books? One of my books (at least, the e-book version) is on sale today for 99 cents. 99 cents! You cannot get a cup of coffee for 99 cents. You cannot even buy gum for 99 cents. Actually, you may be able to buy gum for 99 cents… It has been so long since I’ve left the house that I’ve forgotten the cost of gum.

You can only mail one letter for less than the cost of my book. If you try to mail two letters, you will be paying more than an entire novel.

I could spend the next 50,000 paragraphs listing all the things that are more expensive than my book. Instead, I’ll spare you and tell you to get yourself Measure of Love.

Pretty please?

Or, at the very least, tell your friends.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Celebrating Ten Years” (My Path to Mommyhood)

Okay, now my choices this week.

World Childless Week was this week, and many people wrote about it. Finding My Plan B – The Black Women in the Room has a post about living her Plan B, which was finding her voice. That plan gave birth to a book and so many amazing opportunities to tell her story and support others. She writes, “During this journey I have come across so many women, especially black and Asian women who have been silenced by the cultural parameters that tell us not to bring shame on the family, not to talk about our problems outside of our home … I’ve been honoured to be in a position to listen and support them on their own childless journeys.”

My Path to Mommyhood celebrated ten years of blogging this week. So much happened in ten years, and she takes us through the journey. I love this line: “It ended with a lot of work, a lot of sadness, but also a lot of hope that finally we could have a life that wasn’t predicated on waiting for a life to begin, but LIVING in the one we have.” As I said to her: “Thank you for always making me think AND making me feel.”

Lastly, The Next 15000 Days has the best conversation stopper when a man drops multiple assumptions into a single question: “No one has ever offended me the way you just did.” Seriously.

The roundup to the Roundup: Measure of Love is on sale. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between September 11 – 18) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

It’s September 11th. It’s so easy for dates to get lost on the calendar right now when every week feels the same. But I noticed the date and remembered in time. Next year will mark 20 years, right? Time feels so strange right now.

I forgot and then remembered that Rosh Hashanah is coming up in a week or so. Clearly it was in the back of my mind because we’ve taken steps to make sure we have everything in place to attend Zoom services at our shul. But I forgot in the sense that we plotted out the next two weeks of meals, Josh did the food shopping, and then I remembered that we should have planned a meal. We originally had calzones scheduled for that night. We bumped them by a day to make a brisket.

In some ways, Zoom Rosh Hashanah is easier than Zoom Pesach. Remember Pesach? Back in the spring? When I thought it was silly that I had purchased the matzah so early. Surely the stay-at-home orders would be lifted by Pesach. And it’s now the seventh month. And we’re still at home. With zero dreams that Rosh Hashanah will look different.

Which means we can release those old expectations and instead make sure that we’re plotting out something new vs. something second-best.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “The Vultures Are Already Flying Above Us” (The Next 15000 Days)

Okay, now my choices this week.

By the Brooke has a post about choices after loss. She explains: “I think most working moms feel some level of mama-guilt, but in my experience, babyloss working moms get a double dose.” She takes the time to explain her thought process—not because it’s owned to the question asker but because she acknowledges that hearing someone’s story can help someone else make a decision.

FinallyMyLinesNow has a post marking the day she lost hope. They’re moving forward with the planned IVF cycles, and she’s doing everything she can to make them successful, but they didn’t have embryos for PGS. My heart sank for her when I read: “I know that adding PGS, while necessary due to the cerclage, realistically lowers our odds even further. Today though, was the first time I felt in my soul that we really have no chance. It was the first time I felt convinced that this is just the proverbial fool’s errand.” The post ends with a hug from her daughter, exactly what she needed in the moment.

Finally, The Road Less Travelled points out how COVID-19 has added to the sting of first-day-of-school reminders. Instead of social media being a week or two of first-day-of-school pictures, it was preceded this year by weeks and weeks of discussion about how school would look, etc. She unpacks how things unfolded in a few bullets (among other small thoughts), and it seems like a good reminder for all other difficult times, such as Christmas, Easter, or Mother’s Day. She writes, “The constant buzz-buzz-buzz is hard to ignore, and adds yet another layer to an already difficult time of year for those of us who are living without the children we wanted.”

The roundup to the Roundup: September 11th and Rosh Hashanah. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between September 4 – 11) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Did you know a full version of “A Little Bit Alexis” exists and you can buy it on iTunes? We discovered it around midnight this week when ChickieNob mused, “I wonder if they ever recorded the song for real.”

Do we currently own it? Yes.

Listen, things have been shitty, and if we can grab five minutes of happiness (I actually think the full song is closer to three minutes, but you get the point) for 99 cents, then it was money well spent.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

No Kidding in NZ draws a line between feminism and childlessness. She points out: “Discrimination against us, as women without children or as mothers, is a form of misogyny. It does not see us as individuals, but as objects, and judges us by our biology, rather than by our personalities, our characteristics, our flaws and our talents.” She unpacks why sometimes women absorb that misogyny and how it comes out against other women. A fantastic, fascinating post.

Bereaved and Blessed is celebrating the best possible outcome when it comes to the results from an ultrasound on her breast. She felt optimistic going into the test, but points out that she has been on the wrong side of the odds before when it comes to fertility and loss. She writes: “I’ve learned not to take anything for granted or put too much weight in odds. When you’ve fallen into the less than 1% chance category more than once in your life good odds don’t always seem nearly as comforting.” Glad she’s doing okay.

Lastly, The Road Less Travelled muses on postponed weddings due to COVID-19. You still get to have the love, even if you don’t get the ceremony, but I’m not belittling the sadness that comes from missed life cycle events. Both for the couple AND for the guests, as Loribeth explains. I miss weddings. I miss parties and getting dressed up, even though I never enjoyed those things before this point. The world changes. We change with it.

The roundup to the Roundup: A Little Bit Alexis. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between August 28 – September 4) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

I am the proud owner of a sore arm and flu immunity. I had to go to the doctor this week, and while I was there, her nurse offered to give me a flu shot. I learned from past mistakes to take anything offered when it is offered.

I know what you’re thinking—Melissa, isn’t it too early in the season to get your flu shot? Well, reader, I’m glad you asked. Apparently it is not too early to get your flu shot—they already have the 2020 version in most offices—and they want people who are young and healthy getting their flu shot now to save appointment space in mid-September for people who need more coverage during flu season.

So I can check my flu shot off my list, which is nice because I felt like crap afterward, and now I’ve gotten the sore arm and crappy feeling mostly out of the way so I don’t have it hanging over my head.

Win-win!

P.S. Go get your flu shot and be a public health helper.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Women Like Me” (Mrs. Spit… Still Spouting Off)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Lavender Luz has a new podcast about the long view of adoption. The purpose? “To bring a variety of perspectives around topics I wish I’d known more about back in my pre-adoptive days and early-parenting years.” Lori has always provided amazing insights on raising kids in written form. I’m sure she’ll do the same in spoken form.

My Path to Mommyhood conveys a freeing thought. “Lose what was, it doesn’t exist anymore. I think for clarity it needs to be adjusted to lose the expectations of what was, but I did like it.” Which isn’t to say that losing those expectations isn’t sad, and they certainly need to be grieved. But it IS also freeing to let go of that past vision and see what you can do with the current situation.

Lastly, Infertile Phoenix highlights why it’s not always a bad thing to ask THAT question. Sometimes doing so reminds two people that they’re not alone. It’s a great story—click over to read it.

The roundup to the Roundup: All the cool kids are getting flu shots. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between August 21 – 28) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

I ended up with a new phone in the middle of the pandemic. Josh needed a new phone—it wouldn’t charge or connect to the computer—but because my phone was over five years old (whereas his phone was only two), I took the new phone and he took my old phone to see how much more life we could squeak out of it while he waited to see if his old phone could be revived. We’re sort of all playing musical phones right now.

The Wolvog did the heavy lifting, setting up the phone so it looked exactly like my old one. He sat with me while I logged into all of the apps, patiently answering questions because everything felt unfamiliar even though things looked mostly the same. And then he wiped Charlie (fine, I only gave my phone a name about two hours before I handed it over to Josh, but it still counts) and uploaded Josh’s content onto the phone.

I love having more room. My old phone was almost full because I kept a lot of photos on it. The new phone feels like it has room to grow.

But it doesn’t feel familiar yet. We haven’t gotten to know each other. It’s funny to think of a phone like a friend.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

Inconceivable captures that time between being “not really healed and not really acutely wounded any more” after a loss. I was struck by this thought: “It feels odd to cheer myself for things I do generally without any thinking at all.” But it is a big deal to take care of the day-to-day things after a loss. When almost all of your energy needs to go toward dealing with emotions, it is no small thing to borrow from that energy and put it towards running errands or exercising for ten minutes.

Much Ado About Nothing made me cry with her post about saying goodbye to a doctor, dying of COVID-19, and a hurt dog that she helped save. She writes, “Sometimes all the medical advances in the world can’t save a human, but a few people can come together and save a dog.” It’s really a gorgeous story of loss and love and life.

Lastly, Risa Kerslake writes about how the pandemic is affecting her child’s first birthday. It’s just a day; but when you’ve waited for your child for so long, no milestone day is just a day. She writes, “I know that a first birthday party has everything to do with me and literally nothing to do with a baby that will have no recollection of the banners, birthday cake, and coordinating plastic forks.” You can read the first part on her blog, and then follow the link to a second site.

The roundup to the Roundup: New phone. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between August 14 – 21) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.