Category — Friday Blog Roundup

The twins are taking exams from our basement, which is a sentence I never thought I’d write. They had to clear the room of any and all notes. Pop in earphones to create quiet, and start an app that freezes their computer on the exam. This is their 15th month of school from home, which I know is totally normal if you’re homeschooled. But the twins aren’t homeschooled. They are just home and schooled.

This has been a very weird year.

But it now feels more normal to have them doing school from home than thinking about having them go to school in a classroom again. Next year is currently set to be in-person. I know I will once again grow accustomed to having everyone out of the house, but I sense that it will take me months to go back to feeling like it is “normal” in the same way that it took me months to come to a place where everyone at home felt “normal.”

I’m in a liminal space, trying to figure out how I feel about everything.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Between the Lilac and the Birch” (Mrs. Spit… Still Spouting Off)
• “Parenthood and Grandparenthood in the Pandemic” (InfertilityHonesty)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Jewish IVF asks when those twinges of jealousy will ever go away. She writes: “For me it’s more like a tug in my heart, the sting in my eyes, the pull in my gut. Then guilt that I feel it at all instead of just being happy for someone when they share their news.” For her, it’s pregnancy-related more than baby-related, but this idea hit home for me, too. I still feel those twinges sometimes.

The Uterus Monologues was asked when they’re planning to have another child. She explains: “I think the single most surprising thing for me about having a baby has been how quickly people ask when you’re going to do it all over again.” She does the mental math of what it will take to go through pregnancy again after loss. It’s a fascinating post on where the brain goes when you have so much more to consider.

Lastly, Infertile Phoenix goes through what may be the most awkward and inappropriate icebreaker situation ever when someone decides it will be a fantastic idea to ask all of the people at a new place about whether they have children. Though I love this line: “I didn’t say anything else. No explanation. No elaboration.”

The roundup to the Roundup: The end of the school year at home. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 14 – May 21) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

I won my second GoodReads book! It was a book that I didn’t remember adding to my TBR, though I love it so I’m thrilled that my subconscious mind clearly did me the favour of filling out the giveaway form. It’s hitting a little close to home—woman experiencing anxiety after her twins leave for college (which happens to be my alma mater)—but still, it’s better than thinking about the current gasoline issues hitting the east coast.

Distraction!

By reading about something else that gives me anxiety!

Anyway, it is pretty much the most exciting thing that has happened to me since the last time I won a giveaway, which was right at the beginning of the pandemic. It feels really good to win a book.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Not Obviously Sad” (Finding a Different Path)

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Road Less Travelled has fantastic words of advice for anyone trying to make the decision whether to live child-free after infertility. Learning how someone else arrived at a decision can help a person find their own path to resolution. I love her bulleted list.

No Kidding in NZ has advice on how to get through hard days, like Mother’s Day. Getting out of your routine and going somewhere else is helpful to consider on all dreaded days. Moreover, I love this: “It is an invented holiday, and within a few days it is forgotten, and I refuse to give it too much power over me.”

Infertility Honesty honours “the person – or, more accurately, PEOPLE – I have been through my entire string of lived Mother’s Days knowing I’ll never be a mother.” She reflects on how she has changed over the years; how her reaction to the day has changed over the years. She takes the day and turns it into a celebration of being who you are and loving yourself in the moment.

Lastly, Scientist on the Roof asks an important question: “Dear reader, is there a time when you put your own needs before everything else?” The simple answer is affirmative, but the more nuanced answer is that it’s hard to put your needs first. To practice self-care when it’s not easy to practice self-care. Sending a hug because this post hit close to home for me, too.

The roundup to the Roundup: I won a book! Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 7 – May 14) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

I have been on cicada watch. Every morning, I come down and feed Beorn and then go to the window to check the trees. The cicadas are starting to emerge in other towns nearby, but so far, I haven’t seen any crawl out of the ground. Just the holes they make before they emerge.

Sometimes I whisper to myself, “This is how they felt at Helm’s Deep right before the orcs breached the wall. When they knew that the battle was inevitable, and all they could do was steel themselves to battle Saruman’s beasts.”

Not that I’m dramatic or anything.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

PocoBrat has a beautiful promise in a poem that is there for anyone who needs kind words right now. Plus, I love the idea of doing nice things for yourself. Just because.

Much Ado About Nothing has a post about the feelings that come out when her brain is exhausted. She writes, “Nothing fills a baby shaped hole.” So true.

Finding a Different Path is a birthday-celebrating inspiration, finding the joy in the day and none of the fears of aging. Go wish her a happy half-of-90.

Infertile Phoenix warns that we need to beware of energy-sucking vampires. She writes: “Guard your energy. Be aware of vampires. Your grief is yours, your journey is yours, and your recovery is yours. No one is entitled to the wisdom or rewards of your hard work.” It’s a story with a happy ending about boundaries.

Lastly, The Road Less Travelled has a post about a new exhibit about Mary Lincoln. She explains: “A new exhibit at President Lincoln’s Cottage — a Washington, D.C., museum I had never heard of! — makes the case that Mary was not crazy — she was a bereaved mother. Moreover, the exhibit places the Lincolns’ grief ‘alongside the stories of modern-day bereaved parents and their kids, showing their similarities across time’.” I plan to go see the exhibit.

The roundup to the Roundup: The cicadas are almost here. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 30 – May 7) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Beorn is our first guinea pig who consistently growls. Truman and Linus would both growl if you bothered them, but Beorn has big feelings about random things. For instance, he doesn’t like when Josh hugs me in front of him. He jumps up and gives a low growl as if to say, “Take your hands off my lady friend.”

I had a day when I had to play my yoga app through my phone. It’s identical to the normal app I use, but it doesn’t contain the background music. He stood and growled for two and a half minutes before I gave up because I couldn’t hear the instructions. I turned on an old audio recording of my yoga routine. He growled once because there was no image on the screen, but he decided that it sounded close enough to normal, so he allowed me to do the routine in peace.

And finally, he hates “Zodiac” by Yaron Hadad. I get it. Many people do. But it’s amusing because I can play any other song. But when this song comes on…

…he stares at me in disbelief and growls until I turn it off. Adding the college-era line dance that goes with the song only makes things worse.

Poor Beorn. Little pig. Big feelings.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Read Kristen Welker’s Heartfelt Letter to Her Daughter About Surrogacy, Infertility” (Today.com)
• “Ein erster Bericht” (Elaine ohne Kind)
• “Gratitude for the Little Things” (No Kidding in NZ)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Jewish IVF thanks the same reporter mentioned in the Second Helpings link above. She explains: “When Kristen Welker and her husband shared their story, I was happy to hear her news. No strings, just happiness. When someone shares their story, I’m so proud of them. Their courage brings awareness which can help end the stigma.” I’m glad they were able to build their family with a surrogate.

A Half-Baked Life tells a sad story about a robin and her eggs. I’m warning you; it’s a little heartbreaking. And this line gutted me: “Reminders that our hearts are never quite the same.” So-freakin’-true.

Lastly, A Separate Life brings Infertility Awareness Month into her non-IF space. Mali also posted on her infertility blog, but there’s something so powerful about pushing a topic from the background into the foreground in a different space. I love all of these reminders, especially: “Talk to us about our lives. You might learn something. We might learn something about you too.” I always do when I pop onto other blogs.

The roundup to the Roundup: Things that make Beorn growl. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 23 – 30) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

It is currently National Infertility Awareness Week. I was going to write a post—the theme is the power of stories and the hashtag is #WhatIWantYouToKnow—but because I constantly write about infertility and loss, I couldn’t think of anything that hasn’t been said during the other 51 weeks of the year. Or, in the case of this blog, the almost 780 weeks I’ve been writing in this space.

So instead of repeating my story, I’m encouraging you to tell yours. Dust off your blog this week, start a new one, post on your favourite social media platform, and let people know what you want them to know.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Inaccurate Thinking and Self-compassion” (No Kidding in NZ)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Bereaved and Blessed is remembering her daughter, Molly, on her 13th birthday. She begins: “Today you would be 13, a teenager. I’ve been struggling to write this for so many reasons. This week has felt really heavy, not to mention this month and year. It is both healthy and okay to feel everything I am feeling and it is really hard.” I love this post because it ties her daughter into the here and now, connecting with bereaved families and the hard events (both personal and worldwide) of the last year, and holding all in her heart.

Infertile Phoenix talks about the inevitable and unavoidable pain of emotional growth spurts. As she points out: “Growth is painful. It’s so hard. But staying the same isn’t any easier.” So true. She reflects on what is learned from re-reading old posts.

Lastly, Finding a Different Path reframes the term “rainbow baby,” balancing out the hopeful and the alienating. As good as those child-after-loss stories feel, there is the other side: “It feels terrible when there is no rainbow baby, when the miscarriage or baby loss is the experience you get and there’s no more.” She brings in an idea from Jessica Zucker’s book and extends that rainbow to cover alternative outcomes and other gains. She reflects on her own rainbows.

The roundup to the Roundup: Tell your story for NIAW. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 16 – 23) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.