Category — Friday Blog Roundup

It has been a hard week. The twins returned to school. We returned to our normal schedules. But nothing felt normal.

It reminds me of COVID coverage — we know about the cases where people remain home and the cases where people die, and we reduce the issue to life or death. You are either alive, and that means you are fine, or you are dead, and that means you are not fine. And the news moves on to the next story.

But the reality is that 11% of adults and 10% of kids end up with long COVID. And the other 89 – 90% sometimes end up with lingering symptoms for weeks that are not counted as long COVID. My point: There is a range of ways how life continues after COVID or a school shooting that goes beyond the binary of fine and not fine.

I found myself unreasonably annoyed by mistakes in the coverage. It made me wonder how many articles I’ve read and thought I had a grasp on the situation, and the reality for the people in this situation was completely different.

It is impossible to bring it up — I mean, how do you drop the topic in someone’s lap when they call you to catch up, not knowing what’s going on? So I found myself not saying anything at all because I didn’t know how to find the words. At the same time, I was surprised by the lack of conversation and outreach from people who knew about the shooting.

I found I could not participate in the various meetings and events they set up for parents afterward. Josh watched them for both of us and reported that their old middle school principal — possibly one of the best humans in the world and definitely one of the top five educators in the world — attended to help the kids through the week. It made me (and the twins) feel so much better to know that he was involved.

But mostly I mentally checked out when I was not at work. I worried about the kids. I came up with zero answers on how to move forward out of the feelings. I wondered if maybe it was a good thing to stay behind and keep thinking about this. We should never normalize violence.

Thank you to everyone who reached out with a comment or email. It meant a lot, and I’m sorry that I didn’t have the energy to respond properly.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

It’s Inconceivable has a post about self-isolating when you don’t have extended family nearby. She writes, “When you’re CNBC and don’t have any extended family around to help you have to prepare for all eventualities.” She goes through her story, but I also love this point: “The Gateway Women forums were a great source of comfort as well during all of this because there are many women there who get what it’s like to not have the family connections where people can step in and step up to help out.” Community matters — online community, too. Go read her whole story.

No Kidding in NZ also talks about widening her support network in light of COVID. She writes: “I felt very alone. My friends with grown kids in the city would probably call on them, or one of their many friends they made through their kids. Their priority would be their kids, their work, and not some lonely old couple out in the suburbs.” Except in thinking about this, she realized she does have people she can call for help. It’s an important mental exercise everyone should do.

Lastly, Scientist on the Roof made me smile thinking about my old Home Economics class. I sewed shorts, but I did not line up the pattern properly on the seams. They looked hideous. And cooking was nerve-wracking for a vegetarian. Thank you for this trip down memory lane, and I loved hearing about Home Ec in the USSR vs. Home Ec today.

The roundup to the Roundup: The aftermath. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 21 – 28) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Even though I skipped purchasing at-home tests multiple times, I knew I would have regrets if we didn’t fill out the government site and claim the four tests they’re sending out next month. We still won’t change our behaviour — we wouldn’t trust a negative test and remove our masks indoors. But if anyone starts to feel ill, it’s worth having confirmation without needing to leave the house.

This is not a topic I thought I would still be writing about two years later back in January 2020.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Choosing My Thoughts” (Infertile Phoenix)

Okay, now my choices this week.

PocoBrat sent me down a Googling rabbit hole with her post on Pongal. I didn’t know about this festival until this week. I loved learning something new. The fact that she references Klara and the Sun is a bonus.

From the sun to the moon…

Family Building with a Twist has a post about wolf moon, which is the first full moon of the year, but it’s really about the illuminating realizations about your life. She writes, “I feel like some parts of me have been frozen and frozen for a very long time. But they are thawing. And that’s horribly messy and confusing for someone like me who does prefer to feel in control and felt like she had a good understanding of herself.” Such a gorgeous way of describing it. And this: “what are warm tears but melted ice?”

Lastly, JewishIVF writes about that moment of shifting from needing support to giving support. She is answering questions for people looking to use her clinic. She explains: “At this point in my journey, where my role has shifted and life looks very different, I still feel connected to people who are struggling and want to offer any help I can.” She talks about how she walks that fine line, knowing how it feels to be asking the questions.

The roundup to the Roundup: Did you order your at-home test? Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 14 – 21) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Our week has been dominated by the idea of toilet rats. I blame Lifehacker for introducing us to this concept. (And you can blame me for passing on the favour.)

Lifehacker asked: “How Often Do Snakes, Rats, and Spiders Really Crawl Up Your Toilet Pipes?” Um… how often, indeed? It turns out not often, but the article sent me on a Googling spree about toilet rat guards. A word of caution; do not repeat my mistake. ChickieNob and I have not been able to get the drawing of the swimming rat out of our heads. The Wolvog smartly avoided the web page.

But now that I knew that rat guards existed, how could I continue to live without this flap to keep rats out of my toilet? I mean, if we ended up with a toilet rat, wouldn’t it kind of be our fault for not installing this? Josh refused to call the plumber and ask about toilet rats. Or toilet snakes.

But in a twist of fate, we ended up needing to CALL THE PLUMBER THIS WEEK. Which means he will soon be in my home, fixing a pipe. And I will be hissing at Josh to just. please. ask. him. about. rat. guards. and. the. frequency. of. toilet. rats.

Why does Josh have to ask instead of me? Because I don’t want the plumber to think I’m bananapants. It’s fine if he thinks less of Josh.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

Pages, Stages, and Rages is back as is The Evolving Engineer (old blogger, new name). The best part about a feed reader is that when people brush off their blog and start writing again, you know instantly. Welcome back.

Hopelessly Infertile and Surrounded by Fertiles tells the story of hate mitzvahs. Mitzvot are commandments — things you must do — so hate mitzvahs would be doing the right thing but complaining through it. Or seething with rage. That sort of thing. She asks: “I wonder if there’s really a such thing as a hate mitzvah. Like do you need to do a mitzvah from a pure and loving place or is it sufficient that you’re doing the mitzvah.” It’s an interesting idea — do you have to have loving, happy intentions if you’re doing something good for that thing to be… good? Like attending someone’s baby shower (good deed) when you really don’t want to be there and feel enraged (hate mitzvah)?

By the Brooke points out the pitfalls of light internet memes like the 10-year challenge. She explains, “Ten years ago, I still clawing my way out of deep, dark, despairing grief. Ten years ago I skipped Christmas because the death of my baby also killed any desire I had to celebrate anything.” It’s a beautiful post about what we don’t see in photographs.

Lastly, Finding a Different Path and I came to the same realization recently when the twins did their first at-home COVID test. They look like… pregnancy tests. I also cracked up over her wondering if “the first snot of the day yields stronger results.”

The roundup to the Roundup: Toilet rats. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 7 – 14) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Yesterday was Befana Day, and it was pretty much what you’d expect for a COVID-era Befana Day. I managed to botch the surprise gift by accidentally leaving it out the week before. And I didn’t read the recipe I wanted to make until 5:30 pm when I discovered the potatoes would take 2.5 hours. So…

But we all rolled with it.

Because that’s all you can do during pandemic holidays. They are what they are.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Loving My Body Again” (Finding a Different Path)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Jewish IVF says goodbye to 2021. She sums up my feelings, too: “In some ways this feels worse. A year ago we had hope. Hope that a vaccine will be the magic cure that we need to end the pandemic.” It feels like everything has been ten times harder lately. High case loads = anxiety = a wish we could grab some hope again.

Bereaved and Blessed posts her answers to Rewind 2021. It’s such a cool project, and it’s so nice to have that time capsule of words. It is long — 35 questions — capturing the highs and lows (and the everyday moments) of a year.

Lastly, the Uterus Monologues has a moving guest post about miscarrying at Christmas. The deep truth: “One of the challenges of uncertainty is that people try to cling to the flicker of hope. We are so ill-equipped to accept sadness and grief.” It’s such an important read; a good reminder that we often don’t know how our questions will land.

The roundup to the Roundup: Befana Day 2021. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 31 – January 7) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

The final day of a collectively depressing year. Is there really anything more to say about 2021? We will spend tonight in pyjamas, eating appetizers, flipping between the various countdowns even though we don’t really want to watch any of them. We’ll feel an itch to do something more… something different. But unable to come up with that “something different,” we will do nothing and that will be okay. It’s almost as if we lived this very same New Years celebration 365 days ago. Oh. Right.

Hope you have an uneventful, healthy new year.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Why I Love Rudolph” (Infertilityhonesty)
• “It Is Done” (Infertile Phoenix) — originally another title
• “Twenty Years” (No Kidding in NZ)
• “Mild Cases” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, Jess!

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Barreness says goodbye to the year. She pays homage to her site: “I feel like I am safe in this space, with expressing myself. WHAT A GIFT THAT IS!” I love her acknowledgment of how five minutes of acceptance can grow (and if nothing else, five minutes is better than no minutes). For anyone who has been struggling, writing sometimes is a tiny good thing bringing you through a moment in time.

To that end, The Road Less Travelled does a collection of annoying things and small pleasures. I love that she balances out the venting and the noting; the release and the gratitude.

Lastly, Infertilityhonesty posts the final piece in her old space, ending 8 years to the day since she published her first post. She writes: “Organizing the past into narrative is a method of understanding the self. Not only is narrative the channel for communicating how you became who you are, it also informs who you’re on your way to becoming.” She has moved to a new space, linked to a few posts ago on the blog and in the purple circle at the end of the post.

The roundup to the Roundup: Goodbye 2021. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 24 – December 31) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.