The Okay Line
I feel everything in this essay very deeply:
By most objective measures, I’m doing quite well, financially … But there’s this hum underneath everything. This feeling that no matter how much I accumulate, I’m never going to feel financially “okay” — which is as much a state of mind as it is a number.
I think it began for me when I started to think about retirement. How much would I have to save to think we’ll be okay? What about the stuff we can’t predict? You very rarely come into unexpected money, but it’s pretty common to have hidden expenses.
And then it spilled over into pre-retirement life. What is enough? Where is the “okay” line, where you actually feel okay and not just rationally acknowledge that you’re okay?
And then it’s not just me. It’s this next generation. Will they be okay? And if they’re not okay, that’s going to impact all of us.
But mostly, I loved this piece near the end:
Be suspicious of any analysis that makes you feel only helpless. The doom-scroll economy benefits from your nihilism … Some of the doom is real. Some of it is a very specific class of writer describing their own anxiety and universalizing it. In other words, take everything with a grain of salt.
Thank you for this reminder.
And passing this along in case it resonates with you, too.
2 comments
This is really interesting. We see it here in NZ too, but there is more (maybe?) of a a social safety net here, I think. Or maybe not. Retirement on its own is scary, because you think you have plenty of money, then you need a new roof on your house, medical bills for unfunded drugs, and prices all skyrocket about the same time. I didn’t grow up with money, but once I was earning I enjoyed what it provided – travel, comfort, a varied social life. But I know I can live frugally too. It’s all about expectations.
And that’s what the article said so well – “separating what you need from what you were trained to expect” and “… some of what you feel is the consumer economy doing its job: keeping you in a state of aspirational lack so you keep spending, keep upgrading, keep chasing the next tier.”
I’ve always wondered what people do to afford the lifestyle they live. I’ve never felt comfortable spending my earnings – at least not more than I could easily pay off at the end of the billing cycle. Then I remember that so many live on credit and have no retirement savings.
My husband was always telling me how much we would be able to get from various pensions (and possibly Social Security). If he were still here, I might still be working for another year or so. But I decided I had enough. Enough savings, enough pension, and enough of my fucking terrible boss. So I took the plunge and regret nothing.
I just paid for a vacation that is more than I like to spend, though. I have enough money. I just have a hard time spending it. And then I wonder what people with multiple children do. It’s horrifying to think about!