There Is Nothing Wrong
The Guardian had an essay about an anti-worrying trick that I clicked on because I, as a world-class worrier, am a sucker for any anti-worrying trick.
The “trick” is that you do not allow yourself to worry past 6:30 pm, so your brain has about 12 hours (to 6:30 am) not to worry. You don’t immediately go cold turkey and not worry at all for 12 hours. You tell yourself you can’t worry from 6:30 pm to 7:30 pm, and keep pushing it back an hour. And then you’re asleep for a large chunk of the hours. So… it probably works.
Except I couldn’t see how I could make myself not worry in a certain time window if my brain was still actively thinking. The only way it could work is if I lied to myself and said, “There is nothing wrong,” which is the adult version of telling a kid who is crying, “You’re alright.”
Because yes, it is true. The crying kid is alright. Yes, they have a skinned knee. Yes, something freaked them out. But in the grand scheme of things, they are alright. They are safe. They are cared for. They have food and water and shelter. (Assuming they have all of these things.) And for the adult, unless you are actively going through a crisis (and not worrying about the potential for a crisis), there is nothing wrong. There will be wrong things in the future (not just potentially, but it is inevitable that we will all go through wrong stretches), but in the immediate moment, there is nothing wrong. Between 6:30 pm and 6:30 am, I don’t have to worry about the potential problems.
Maybe it will work? Jury is out on this one.
4 comments
If only it were so easy! I feel like the people for which telling themselves not to worry between time X and Y will work are not the kind of people whose brains are at 3 am worrying about every bad thing that’s happened for the past 40 years and everything that could go wrong in the future.
I used to be the type of person whose brain was keeping me awake at 3 am thinking of everything I’d ever done that I wished had been different, and worrying about future work/engagements/miscellaneous catastrophes that had not happened. I still woke up this morning worrying about “what needs to be done” and all the other things we would have done if we didn’t have health issues hanging over us.
In the past though, I have managed to train my brain to not worry so much. It takes practice. If you can stop worrying even for a short time, it is a relief. My brain and body likes that sense of relief. Don’t fight it!
I think I might write a post about how I did it – I’ve definitely written about “retraining my brain.” Like anything, it takes a lot of time and effort and consistency. And starts small. Really small! (An hour is not small enough!)
:maniacal laughter:
Somehow I was just way less worried all the time back when Biden was president and my job wasn’t actively trying to stamp out diversity, equity, inclusion, gender, etc. I can’t quite put my finger on it.
I wonder about delaying the worry…like okay worry, I see you, I’ll think about you in the morning. It’s acknowledging that the worry exists, there is just a specific time for it. Worry time. If it’s not worry time, we have to do something else. but worry time will come around again.