Caring About Another Person’s Loss

Lauren Bravo is one of my favourite writers. I’ve only read one book — Probably Nothing — but it was that good. One of my top books of 2025.

Every month or so, I look up writers I like on Goodreads to see if they have a new book coming out. Every once in a while, I’m happily surprised to see a new book listed. But her next book never popped up because she has been dealing with two miscarriages.

It’s secondary infertility, and while she knew that being pregnant used up your time and brainspace, “what I didn’t know then, privileged as I was, is that being not-pregnant makes its own demands – on your body and your time, as well as your heart.”

My throat got tight with that.

And this:

It is work, but it feels the very opposite of productivity – tending to your body as it unravels, diligently unpicking traces of the life that might have been.

What is it called to feel gutted for someone you don’t know and will likely never meet, but their words touched you and made your life better at one point and now you’re so sad that they’re part of a club you never wanted to be part of yourself? That needs a word.

Go read the whole thing. And then buy her book because it is as wise as this piece.