Repeat: Time-Bound

Same as the last two years, I am not writing my blog right now because I need to navigate the twins returning to college. Unlike the last two years, I didn’t aim to rerun a post from the same date, years earlier. Instead, I used a random date generator, and then took the closest post to that date, which is why you may see posts about winter in the middle of the summer.

I scheduled these posts so the blog wouldn’t be empty, and I could have space to process my feelings. A cop-out, but forgive me. Having them go is really, really hard. I need mental space to feel what I am feeling, help the kids through the transition, and sit in the quiet for a moment on the other side.

I am admitting all of this here for two reasons even though this embarrasses me tremendously. (1) It could help someone else who is going through the same thing and (2) I want to reflect one day how far I’ve come because I do have a lot of hope that things will change.

I have been conducting my life out of the preschool library. By this point, I consider the end seat at the table my own and if need be, I would pee on it like a squirrel monkey to mark my territory. I spent the morning writing notes to my niece and friends on my new pink stationary. I read a book. Made some phone calls. And told myself that tomorrow would be the day I’d leave the building. And then I promptly felt ill and decided I would wait until the morning to make a concrete decisions.

I have not actually left the twins at preschool yet.

Read the whole post here.