Repeat: Hurricane Baby
I am not writing my blog right now because I realized mid-August that it felt like a burden instead of a release. I am too sad, navigating the twins leaving for college. I scheduled these posts that day so the blog wouldn’t be empty, but I could pull back and use the time left with the twins. A cop-out, but forgive me. Having them go is really, really hard. I need mental space to feel what I am feeling, help the kids through the transition, and sit in the quiet for a moment on the other side.
I woke up at 3:17 am, one child in our bed, the other still unconscious in her room. I stood by the window and stared at the trees which were being blown so hard that it looked like the tops were trying to kiss the ground. Just as I couldn’t stop refreshing the outage map, I couldn’t tear myself away from the window. The wind was so loud that it sounded like an ongoing car alarm.
The machines shut off and the machines came back on several times throughout the night, but in the morning, we had power whereas the two streets on either side of us were out. The pavement had a carpet of new, green leaves.
Suddenly, it felt like we needed a pet. Like this task couldn’t wait until it made more sense all things considered.
