Repeat: A Quiet House
I am not writing my blog right now because I realized mid-August that it felt like a burden instead of a release. I am too sad, navigating the twins leaving for college. I scheduled these posts that day so the blog wouldn’t be empty, but I could pull back and use the time left with the twins. A cop-out, but forgive me. Having them go is really, really hard. I need mental space to feel what I am feeling, help the kids through the transition, and sit in the quiet for a moment on the other side.
At the beginning of summer, my biggest worry was kindergarten. The end of school was hard and I spent the first days at home weepy and overwhelmed. At Disney, we went to see Finding Nemo the musical, and it was as if the story had been tailored solely to neurotic parents of incoming kindergarteners:
You mean so much to me
I don’t know what I would do
In this big blue world
If something should happen to you
Josh raised his eyebrows pointedly at me when Crush and Marlin muse about letting kids grow up.
But what if they’re not ready?
I mean how do ya know?
Well ya never really know
But if they’re ever gonna grow
Then ya gotta let ’em go
Ya know?
Just go with the flow-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
