The Summer of No

Last summer, I preemptively told Josh that this would be the summer of hard nos. I had an inkling that I would be having a difficult time with the transition to college, and I knew that social visits or obligations or pretty much doing anything for anyone else that we didn’t choose ourselves would use up my very limited emotional energy. The twins didn’t want to sleep out of their beds or have things added to their plates.

So no plans in July or August beyond college orientation with a few days of vacation tacked on to emotionally recover from the fact that we’re at orientation. Minimal obligations in June.

It is hard not to fill a calendar. Harder than you think. I mean, yes, we will still be busy in the sense that there are 30 tasks to complete before they leave. We work full-time, so we will spend the weekends ticking off tasks. But it’s hard not to look at an empty weekend and think, “Oh, we should fill this with _______.” Fill in the blank with something local or far away. A person, activity, or experience.

It can be hard to give yourself what you need.

I know we won’t regret doing what we need to do in the moment, and I may have regrets if I don’t take care of myself emotionally. But it is so hard to stick to a summer of nos. Even knowing that this stage of life will be over and a new one will begin in August.