Roads Not Taken
The twins are deep in college applications, which means we’ve also been touring colleges on and off since last spring. College is both everything like and nothing like it was when I attended.
I wish you could do college twice. Once when you’re young, both to prepare you for the work world and to give you a soft landing for independence. And again in middle age to appreciate the experience.
We saw this incredible math department. It was a brand new building — only a few years old — and they had long hallways with chalkboard walls where professors had put up problems and students walking by were solving them. And an old stone library with stained glass windows casting colourful dots of light over the books. We’ve listened to campus tour guides talk about school traditions, and watched students reading books on picnic blankets floating on a sea of grass.
Many years ago, I went maternity clothes shopping with a friend who was pregnant. It was hard to support her and project happiness when we weren’t able to get pregnant. But I convinced myself that I would have this experience one day, too. It was in my future.
It’s a very different feeling to covet when the experience is in your past.
Josh and I are planning to be those elderly people who audit college classes in the summer — educational tourism. But that’s different from belonging.
No, this is like looking at all the roads not taken with people who have all of the roads ahead of them. I hope they enjoy this time.
4 comments
Your college tours sound… magical. Especially that library with stained glass–I’d like to live in a place like that.
Having spent way too long (like longer than sensible) in grad school, I feel safe from longing to be back in college. 🙃
I don’t look forward to college tours – I assume mine will be frustrating, as my child’s enthusiasm for things is hard for me to read.
I certainly have no wish to go back to college, but I may have some regret for what might have been.
I did a Masters two years back. Did it in situ, and defended my thesis I online, because March 2020. It was enlightening. The things my young, very young colleagues did and said. Opened my eyes in many ways, but have to confess, sometimes it was only so that they can roll a lot. A lot-lot. 🙄🤷♀️ Anyway. Having free access to all articles I ever wanted and book, oh, man, the books… And seriously, it’s so much fun studying what you love.
I get what you mean about the college experience. I kinda got to have a second college experience, though not exactly in middle age, when I went to law school after seven years of working as a registered nurse. I can tell you that no one appreciates the student lifestyle like someone who has been working in a stressful environment and supporting herself for the past several years!