How To Start a New Habit
I read an interesting idea on The Imperfectionist about why you shouldn’t set up new habits. Or a more nuanced read: Setting up new habits is kind of like not being yourself.
To start a new habit, “we first need to become the kind of person who does those things all the time. You want to become, say, the kind of person who meditates, or writes or makes videos or podcasts on a regular basis, or finds more time for your kids.”
Meaning, if you are working to not do something that you brain is telling you that you want to do (such as scrolling mindlessly) then you’re trying to be something you’re not. You first have to become the type of person who doesn’t scroll mindlessly, and then you can add your new habit — the kind of habit a person who doesn’t scroll mindlessly would add. Or, another example, changing my sleeping habits. My brain wants to stay up late. I’m trying to turn myself into someone I’m not by going to bed early.
They go off in a different direction, finding the problem with the idea of focusing on establishing the new habit vs. just doing the thing you think you should do. But where I got stuck was thinking about how to do something different, I need to not be me on some level. Because me isn’t doing that thing. It’s not a natural fit.
Though they have a workaround that they explain, too.
What’s one thing you could do, today, that you know would be a good way to use a small portion of your time, and would you be willing to actually do it? I’m precisely not talking about “relaunching your meditation practice”, but instead just meditating once, today.
Food for thought.
P.S. No Roundup tomorrow. Meet you back here on the weekend.
2 comments
I like that idea. Instead of focusing on Starting A New Habit… Just do something today. That makes an overwhelming task feel doable.
That is an interesting perspective. I feel like that theme is also touched on a bit in the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. One of my key take aways from that book was “Take action, don’t just be in motion.” That gets to the same point. Instead of making a plan to reach out to a friend, just do it. On the other hand developing new habits is very important too. Each fall we need to retrain our habit of getting everyone out of the house and to school. I had to make a habit to take my thyroid medication at the same time every day and hour before food. My habit that I built to work out 30 minutes every day will hopefully serve me well with a longer and healthier life. I’d rather sit and scroll, but know that building a habit then becomes a part of me. A change for the better.