Yes, It Can Happen to You
After Sandy Hook, my friends put me down as their emergency contact. We figured that I lived closest to the school and worked from home. In the event of a true emergency, everyone was okay with me packing the car full of kids and getting them out of there. We talked out possible situations. We even had a rendezvous point set in Western Maryland in the event of a nuclear situation. We were prepared.
There was a shooting at the twins’ school this week. We got an email from the principal that there was a “medical emergency” that they were dealing with and the school was in lockdown. We texted the kids to find out more, and they let us know that the medical emergency was that a child was shot.
I got in the car and drove to the school. By the time we knew about the shooting, it had been a half hour since the child was found, and every road around the school was lined with police vehicles and helicopters were hovering overhead. I parked so I could see the front doors and waited for news. SWAT teams entered the building. Police officers closed off access to through traffic on the main road. The twins texted that they were sitting on the floor in the dark. It took about two hours from when lockdown began until the suspect was found. We found out later that the SWAT team entered a classroom and arrested the shooter in front of his stunned classmates.
And then it took several more hours before the kids were released. I sat in my car, turning the engine on and off to stay warm. A kind neighbor walked car to car with his elementary school-aged child, passing out bottles of water and granola bars to the waiting parents. I started sobbing because it was this enormous moment of kindness on such a scary day.
In the evening darkness, five hours after the lockdown began, four and a half hours after I parked in view of the school, the twins and a few of their friends made their way very slowly to my car. I had been in close contact with their parents — I was the emergency contact we designated all of those years ago, certain it would never happen to us. Never happen to our kids. But what if, right? What if it did? We should have a plan.
This week, we had to use the plan. I never really thought we’d have to use the plan, but like so many parents in America, we had to use the plan.
I want every gun manufacturer to have to sit in a cold car, shaking for four and a half hours. I want every person who puts up the plans for ghost guns on the internet to watch flashing police lights for four and half hours, unable to get to their loved ones. I want them to have to drive home four stunned teenagers. I want them to feel what I felt.
I want them to feel that fear and uncertainty. And sit with it. And own their part in the gun-violence-in-schools story.
29 comments
I have no words for you. I’m glad your family and emergency family is physically okay.
Oh Mel
Oh, Mel!! I am so, so sorry! I’m glad your kids and wards were unharmed and you were able to take them home. But yes, as you say this is both our nightmare and reality post-Sandyhook. I hate how it feels like gambling with our children’s (and our) lives when we send them to school. How having teenagers feels like we’ve beaten the odds given how inhospitable the world is to children. I hope you’re all staying cozy and taking comfort from each other and that there will be options for communal healing and therapy soon.
That is horrifying. And terrifying. And so terribly sad. I’m sorry you all had to experience it.
I am so sorry. That is awful beyond words. Be gentle with yourselves as you move through this experience.
Oh, Mel.
I just….
I have no words, but I know you know what I have in my heart.
Oh Mel. It’s too much.
This more than any other issue makes me want to leave the U.S. It seems unsolvable.
So glad your kids are safe.
My children attend school in the same district (but not the same school or cluster). The stories coming out from kids who sat for hours in fear are really overwhelming. Those kids are too young to live through such things. My heart goes out to all of you. What a terrible terrible day for all.
This is so horrifying. I’m so sorry. Glad they are ok. I would be losses that your initial message from the school was hiding the ball.
I am with you, Mel. I am so glad the kids are OK! — physically, if not emotionally/mentally — but it’s unfathomable that this keeps happening, over & over & over again. Take good care of yourselves for the next while. (((hugs)))
Oh Mel. I am so, so sorry.
OMG, Mel, I’m so sorry the twins and you (and J and all the other parents) had to go through this. And I hope you are all able to take time, and get help, in dealing with the recovery. Be kind to yourselves. Sending love and hugs.
I’m so sorry Mel. I’ve been in lockdown due to active threats on campus and it’s not something I wish to go through again nor be on the waiting end.
Sadly, I don’t think those who enable this crap have anything to lose, so I really wish that the mechanisms for even getting their hands on firearms were made insanely difficult. I honestly don’t believe current leadership will allow for that, but I’ve also know that there a lot of hope in the rising generation to do something. The right to bear arms doesn’t mean you give everyone access.
Wrapping you in love and sending you all warm thoughts as your community heals.
Omg Mel. I am so glad you were safe, but how awful and terrifying. I hope the twins are ok.
Horrible! * virtual hug*
Oh wow. I am so sorry.
And sad that it was just a blip on our local news but will effect those kids and all of you for awhile. I am so very sorry ❤️
So incredibly petrifying and scary. Miserably sorry that your kids and parents/community had to live through this.
Hi Mel – so sorry you all had to go through that.
The gun violence is out-of-control crazy.
The waiting-in-the-car for hours, and not being able to do anything – that sounds awful. Glad to hear that the twins were able to communicate with you and let you know they were OK.
Why the heck did they make the kids wait for hours? What if someone had a medical condition? What if someone had to go to the bathroom?
I am in tears. I am angry and heartbroken. I am so sorry.
Oh, Mel. How terrifying. I’m so glad they were safe, but I know that physical safety is only a small part of what they and you and your community will need to feel in the coming days and weeks and months. Sending you so much love as you deal with an unimaginable situation that could happen to any of us. We should not have to imagine, let alone experience it.
Thinking of you all and sending love.
I’m so sorry. This is horrible and I’m so sick of stuff like this happening.
I am so very sorry that you all had to go though that – terrible and so incredibly scary. Will hold all of you in my heart and sending love.
Oh no, Mel, I am so sorry to read this! What a horrific and scary situation.
I’m so glad your kids were OK.
I’m so sorry to hear this happened to your family. Terrifying and so preventable. Sending love.
Oh Mel
I can’t even imagine how desperate, how frightening this must have been for you – and for your kids too, this is their school, the place they go every day for years to connect and learn and… we trust the schools will safeguard the children! A horrific situation and my heart goes out to you and the kids, take good care of yourself dear lady much love xxx
I’ve been on a delayed news cycle and as soon as I heard about this I thought of you. I’m so sorry you and your family had to experience this. Thankfully the kids came out physically unharmed. Sending love for the weeks ahead as you all move forward.
Oh, no. That is horrible. I am so sorry you all went through this. I hope they twins are okay, but I can’t imagine it’s something that just blips by. What an ordeal. I’m glad there were pockets of kindness.