Don’t Get Your Heart Set
All summer long, we’ve been compiling a list of possible colleges as a family. We started closest to home, filling out a spreadsheet with key facts about each school, and then we circled outward, farther and farther from home.
College Night is always an exciting night in the sense that it’s fun to watch the twins mentally try on schools and see if they’re a good fit. But it’s also a bittersweet night. College signals the start of the next chapter of life.
I am having a really hard time with it. I’m also right there with them, swept up in the dreaming.
A few schools are emerging as early favourites, but I keep reminding them not to get their heart set on a single program. They need to keep a handful of different options open as equally good if they don’t want to have a miserable time waiting to hear where they get in. And then I secretly go and Google those schools to try to imagine my kids that far away. Hanging out at that campus. Starting this next stage of life.
I just want them to be happy.
7 comments
Wait. What? How are they old enough to be looking at colleges?
I was thinking the same thing as the commenter above: they’re old enough to be choosing colleges?!
I think you have given them great advice about not getting their hearts set on a certain school. The fact of the matter is that they can have a good, even great, experience at a number of different institutions. I don’t at all understand the stress over going to a specific school.
You want them to be happy…and close at hand. But I like that you’re not putting that on them. Encouraging their dreams while keeping a firm grip on reality is a difficult maneuver. Good on you for walking that line.
It will be OK. Think of all the adventures they will share with you…and the ones they won’t share but will allude to or whisper to each other about. They’re supposed to move on. How else are you going to have the space for a guinea pig rescue?
😭😭😭
Umm, didn’t they JUST start high school??!!
As a Canadian, the whole college process down south seems so stressful. I hope they (and you!) can navigate it smoothly.
Ooof, that’s got to be hard. Although it is exciting times — I remember signing up for every possible college mailing and going through all the brochures and little books (because, um, the internet wasn’t as much of the thing then), and imagining my life in all these different spaces. And where all those spaces could take my life. But to be in the shoes of the parent watching them planning these autonomous lives? Must be so bittersweet. Thinking of you, and hoping that they get to go wherever speaks to them best!
I must admit that (like Turia) the whole U.S. college application process seems a little foreign and high-stress to me. I find Ontario to be a little more U.S.-like in this respect — maybe because there are so many colleges and universities here within a few hundred miles of each other. I find it strange that kids from Toronto will apply to go elsewhere when they have three very good universities and a couple of community college campuses right here in town — I mean, I understand the desire to get away from your parents 😉 — and as a smalltown kid, I didn’t have the option — if I wanted to go to university, I had to leave home — but university/college is expensive enough these days, and if you can live at home…
For me, there were three universities and one main community college in Manitoba — but there was just no question that I would be going to U of Manitoba, end of story. (Especially for a plain old arts degree.) I knew that from the time I knew I would be going to university someday. My high school guidance counsellor encouraged me to apply to Carleton University in Ottawa because he knew I wanted to go into journalism — but I knew it would be much more expensive to go to school out of province, so it just wasn’t an option. So I did my undergrad arts degree at U of M and then did a full-year graduate program in journalism at Western in London, Ontario. I applied to two other programs (one at Ryerson in Toronto and a diploma program at Carleton), but Western accepted me and it was my first pick anyway — I liked the fact that I got a master’s degree in the end.
Anyway — I think you’re right to warn the kids not to get too fixated on any particular school. As Sharon said, there are plenty of good schools out there, and while the Ivy League schools have all the prestige, they aren’t necessarily any better than some smaller (cheaper!) schools elsewhere. Good luck — to all of you!! <3